Gunfire Won't Kill
by suspensegirl
Summary: Post S3 finale - Blair swore Chuck from her life forever, but will the news of his near death experience soften her resolve? Visiting him in the hospital certainly says something. - NO SPOILERS
1. Prologue

A/N: Yes, it is finally here. My post S3 finale CB fic based on B finding out about Chuck getting shot and then going to visit him in the hospital after she swore him from her life forever…enjoy! Lol. This is just the prologue and probably will be far too short, but I'll make it up to ya. Promise. ;)

*I own nothing

….

**Prologue—**

It was easy, he realized, thinking of Blair as he lie dying on the cold, dirty street of an alley in Prague. He didn't have the strength for self-pity or self-loathing. It took too much effort to dwell on what he should have done or said to her or to the two muggers who wouldn't just go with him to a bank and get the cash they so craved for. It was desperation and the fear of losing the one part of Blair he felt he would have had that drove him to act so recklessly. He had planned out the proposal so perfectly, and had a few hours of perfect bliss before it was all snatched out from under him. He was left with nothing but that ring. Nate surely hated him now, along with everyone else. That ring was all he had, proof of the life he could have had. At times he'd imagined a vision of Blair in her wedding dress twinkling up at him through the sea of diamonds on the engagement ring. From the moment he told her he loved her the summer before, he knew she was it for him. He knew even before that. He was just afraid to take that knowing leap until that warm May afternoon. Happiness now stolen away, he was right back to where he'd been just before he took little Jenny Humphrey's virginity.

It took too much energy to think of these things.

If he lived through this, he told himself, he would make sure to feel guilty but he would not resort to killing himself. Blair's words still rung through him. _Please don't do that to me. _He would not abandon his silent promise to listen to her plea and submit to her request.

The world around him seemed to grow incredibly blurry, when just a moment before – it felt like – he was just in shock over having actually been _shot_, simply because of resistance on his part. He should have known that muggers have no patience, and are just greedy for what they believe should be theirs. But he didn't think in that moment. He had lost so much. Even his charm for the ladies had waned. The women in the alley – the skanks – found him distasteful, and were disgusted by his attempts. He'd seen it. He hadn't cared either.

All the facts blurred. Everything that had been clear even in his misery dissolved into numbness and he felt the darkness taking over as he fell to the ground. Caring or not caring – there was no difference any longer. Hatred or determination – neither seemed capable to his disintegrating mind. There was nothing, and very soon he couldn't feel anything at all – not even his own physical body. All he saw was her face – her very beautiful face, angry and absolutely stunning as she swore him off for the rest of their lives.

_"D-Don't say her name! Or anything else to me, ever again! This whole night didn't happen."_

She was so beautiful in her tragedy, but he couldn't feel anything and soon even her face disappeared into the darkness. He was alone, and rightly so – Nate had told him so.

_"You deserve to be alone."_

But he couldn't think anymore. He couldn't do anything. He was motionless and his mind was gone, his ability to feel at all was gone, in every sense. Her face was gone, and so was he – immersed in complete darkness.

"Sir, sir…" someone was demanding something of him. He was not willing to give. His eyes opened and he wondered how long he'd been gone, but he was not willing to answer the man's question.

"Can you tell me your name?" the man asked. Chuck opened and closed his eyes slowly, wondered if he should take in his surroundings and discover where he was, maybe how long it'd been since he'd lost touch with reality. It felt like forever. Maybe he should have been be curious, but he wasn't.

_"I didn't care if I lived or died!"_

"Go to hell," he mumbled roughly about a minute later and turned his face away. The man kneeling over him cracked a smile and laughed a little to another individual in the small contained space.

"He's with us," he told him. Chuck wanted to roll his eyes. The distinct pain emanating from the left side of his gut suddenly brought him crashing back to reality and away from the annoyance the paramedic leaning over him had caused, along with the continuous blaring siren riding on the top of the vehicle. The road was bumpy, he realized. That made the pain worse and he cried out.

Both men came around him and applied more pressure, which seemed to both help and hurt at the same time. He was trying very hard to breathe but couldn't seem to be able to until an oxygen mask covered his face. His energy seeped away again, and all he could concentrate on was breathing. Then he was consumed another time.

His eyes fluttered open again in the emergency room, but he quickly closed them so there wouldn't be any more questions. He didn't want to be alive.

…

A/N: Hope you enjoyed. Please review. I have a feeling this story's going to be a good one. =)


	2. Blemish

A/N: Wow. I am so incredibly sorry it took me so long to post this. My life has just been trying to eat me and I've barely gotten a vid or a fic in over the last few weeks. Here it is though. I hope there are still some of you out there who are going to read and review this. I was completely blown away by how many reviews I got just from the prologue, which was mostly just the last scene of the finale. Heh. So, thank-you for that – _so_ much. =) I don't know how often I'll be able to update this fic, but I shall try my best to do it as often as possible.

*I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.

…

**Ch.1—Blemish**

Three days later, Chuck opened his eyes. He blinked twice and realized he wasn't in an annoying ambulance or a crowded, far too loud emergency room. He was in a large hospital room and the vertical blinds covering the large ceiling-to-floor glass window to his right had been drawn. He realized that the slight pounding in his head may have been due to the unrelenting sunlight pouring in through the window.

_He hated the sun._

He groaned, almost without realizing it, and then froze when the tension of the room promptly appeared. _He was not alone_. His turned his head ever so slightly and slowly sat up, realizing for the first time how wires were draped across him and a large bandage covered his lower midsection on the left side. It all came back to him in a whir of images and emotions. He had not really forgotten, but moving even a little brought him pain and so the reality of the situation weighed down harder.

He did not speak to the man sunken in the one area that lacked light near the wide-open windows. As if he'd just become aware, the individual rose to his feet cautiously and straightened himself. He did not move for a long time, just analyzing Chuck as if he did not believe him to be real.

"Chuck?" he asked softly.

The brunette lying in his hospital bed nodded his head subtly and turned his eyes towards the contraptions on either side of his bed, searching for the lever that would allow him to bring the head of his bed up so that he could sit up straight without having to exert any unnecessary energy.

"I don't remember putting you on my list of emergency contacts," he said dryly.

"You didn't."

Chuck's eyes flicked to his, gently curious as to why he was there.

"Only Lily was on your list of contacts, because…"

Chuck ignored his further explanation. "So, why?"

Nate looked at him, very concerned. Sure, they'd had their battles, but they were _best friends_. Did he think that meant nothing to him? He'd been shot.

"Lily thought I should come."

Chuck searched his eyes, trying to discover some hidden truth and the proof that what he said was a lie. He did not doubt Lily's love for him, but for some reason he just could not comprehend the fact that Nate cared so much for him as to come along on the journey.

"She thought…" Nate sighed, running a hand through his hair, "you'd want to see me."

Chuck managed a half-smirk. It did not decrease any amount of nerves in Nate's face, but it did allow for some past Chuck Bass nature to sink in momentarily. For just a second, Chuck imagined he'd just gotten into some haphazardly trouble at St. Judes and ended up at the hospital. He ignored – however briefly – the state of the relationships he had once held so dear.

"How are you feeling?" Nate asked.

Chuck's expression dimmed, his smirk turning into a solid thin line of contempt, more at himself than anything else. Nate's simple words of help, whether Chuck believed them to be genuine or not, had caused reality to come crashing down around him again. He hated how easily it could return. He'd barely been awake ten minutes and it'd already come and went twice. He wanted to go back to sleep and murder the guilt of reality just like he'd been ordered to murder butterflies on the eve of Blair Waldorf's seventeenth birthday.

"My gut stings," he admitted, adjusting himself a little better. Nate seemed to suddenly come to the decision that he should help his wounded friend, and came around to bring the head of the hospital bed forward so Chuck could relax. Chuck said no words of thanks or even teasing.

"Probably why I'm in a hospital though," he said simply. His eyes flicked up to Nate as the blonde boy checked that the bed's new angle would stay put.

"Am I still in Prague?" Chuck asked. Nate looked down at him and nodded. Then he moved away from the bed and to a nearby chair just across the way from Chuck's hospital bed.

"Doctor said it would be best that way, until you're more stable to go elsewhere," he said, after he'd gotten settled in his seat. Chuck's eyes were pinned to his but then flitted away to gaze down at his hands and eventually across the room towards the window. The light did not seem so despicable now.

"Where's Lily?" he asked, giving himself a mental note to ask the reasons for the doctor's convictions later. He dismissed for the moment that it would be best to bring up his questions when the doctor was actually in the vicinity.

Nate inclined his head towards the door. "In the cafeteria. I told her she needed to eat something, since she hasn't since we've been here."

Chuck's gaze wordlessly asked _how long_.

"About a day and a half," Nate said, not needing the question. Chuck wondered if he was showing any emotion. If he was, Nate wasn't addressing it. On the inside, he was completely aghast, despite his quite recent bleak outlook on the world.

"Is anyone else here?" Chuck asked, turning his head towards the window and zoning out into the buildings of Prague.

"Rufus," Nate said. Chuck nodded absently. "And Eric." Chuck's head swiveled back to look at Nate.

"Eric?" he asked.

Nate hid a smile. "He came with Lily."

"What about—" Chuck stopped himself from asking about Serena. She was not only a touchy subject now for Nate, but learning about her would lead him to Blair's whereabouts and that was the last thing he wanted to discuss.

"She's in Paris with Blair," Nate said.

Chuck looked back out the window. He wanted to strangle Nate for the chilled guilt that warped his own soul and shot pain throughout his entire body. Maybe some part of him had wanted to know, but not the part of him that was fighting to stay alive. Of course he'd known Serena and Blair had gone off to Paris for the summer, but he didn't want the information repeated. If he learned anything from this experience, it was to never involve himself with Blair Waldorf ever again. He had only ever hurt her. Staying away from Serena was just an extra measure, a formality to keep him accountable to himself and his new goal.

"Chuck…" Nate began, very uncertainly. Chuck knew exactly what he was going to ask or inform him of, and he in no way, shape or form wanted to hear it. He did not need the ricochet of chills to rack his body again so soon.

"No," he said, without looking at him. Nate's lips parted. His brows furrowed and he looked about to retort until Chuck turned his head again and stared at him with a fierceness that almost scared him. "Don't tell Blair," Chuck said.

Nate looked confused and incredibly forlorn. Eventually he gathered his tongue. "But—"

"_No_."

He turned his face back towards the window. He had left no room for questioning, and for the time being Nate allowed the silence.

…

The cafeteria wasn't a dirty place. It wasn't exactly an Upper East Side restaurant, but it was nice enough. The floors were even made of marble. Rufus hoped Lily would notice it. He shook his head inwardly at the thought. Lily could hardly be bothered with interior decorating at this point. She had nearly lost control when she'd heard Chuck had been shot. She'd canceled all and any plans, and postponed any dire decisions on her part for Bass, Inc. Her excuse was that the sole heir nearly lost his life. No one on the board complained. Some were actually concerned. If the others were, it could hardly be compared to how worried his stepmother was. It was as if she had raised himself. Just some weeks earlier, it was her life that was supposedly in danger. Now it was him that had taken the bullet – literally – and Rufus was beginning to wonder if she'd recover from that realization. It didn't look promising thus far.

"We shouldn't have left," Lily said.

Rufus raised his eyebrows in amusement. She had been saying similar versions of that belief from the minute they'd left Chuck's hospital room half an hour earlier. It wasn't that Rufus was finding his wife annoying. He was just beyond worried for her, for everybody involved, and he knew the head of the operation should not be the one on panic-mode. He reached his arm across the table and took her hand in his own. A little sigh escaped her.

"I know, I know, you're right," she said, releasing her hand from his absentmindedly to wave in a gesture of frustration and concern. "Nate's with him and we've been in there constantly since we arrived." She managed a weak smile. "Thank-you, Rufus," she took hold of his hand. "For being here."

Rufus brought her hand to his lips and kissed the back of it.

"I know you've never held a great fondness for Charles…"

"I never really held a great fondness for Blair either, but from time to time I see the mature side of them."

Lily looked at him and chuckled briefly. "Yes, well, they do make a lovely pair, don't they?"

Rufus nodded once, glad the conversation had changed to a new venue, even if it was one he wasn't entirely familiar with.

"Though…" Lily sighed and frowned. Rufus felt his heartbeat speed up and was well aware of his wife's impending need to be released from his hand now resting on the table. "Nate tells me things have been rough between them."

"I'm sure it's nothing they can't fix," he said reassuringly.

Lily smiled weakly. "You can only say that because we are no longer _in_ any trouble. On the inside, it looks quite different."

The corners of Rufus' lips lifted slightly. His warm hand wrapped more firmly around hers. "I know."

It was not the kind of thing Lily had been hoping to hear, but she imagined he didn't know really what more to say since they'd been over Chuck and his situation far more than would be cared to remember. She also wanted his honesty. That had always been something hard to come by with her other husbands.

Lily brought her hand back to the fork she'd laid gently beside her plate. It wasn't the classiest of foods that were offered in the hospital, but she did not complain. Her husband had demanded she eat and take a breather – _away_ from Chuck's room. She would obey his orders and return as soon as possible.

"You know," she said awhile later, after she'd finished her food and disposed of the tray and silverware, "Nate told me not to call Blair." Rufus turned his head to her in genuine curiosity as he guided her back to one of the tables. He wasn't going to let her get away _that_ easy.

"Must've been a bad fight," he said. Lily's brows furrowed.

"I'm sure it was. But Charles was shot. Surely, Blair would care about that regardless of the circumstances of their current quarrel."

Rufus shrugged, searching for some sort of way to calm her nerves. The perfect words just were not coming to him. He wondered if all his advice had gone out the window with Dan and Jenny. "Maybe Nate thinks it should be up to Chuck."

Lily sighed. "I suppose that is wise," she said, airily tucked a blonde strand behind her ear. "I always did think that Nate was rather smart." She smiled softly. Rufus smiled a little in return. "Though…" her brows furrowed again, "from what I hear, which I'm sure isn't much, Serena and Nate are no longer together." She sighed, altogether frustrated with herself. "I just don't know what's going on between anybody anymore. I think maybe I should go see Charles again—" She rose mid-way to her feet when Rufus pulled her back down.

"Relax, Lily. Nate's with him."

Lily sighed, almost refusing to acknowledge that fact though she'd allowed it before.

"At least _try_ to relax?"

She nodded, deciding not to bring up her concerns on Chuck getting shot again. Rufus had heard enough from her on the subject, even if she was still rattled from its occurrence. It was not something to be easily ignored, but she knew Rufus was right. She had to try to relax.

"Where's Eric?" Rufus wondered briefly aloud. His gaze moved about the cafeteria. Lily's hand tensed in his again, now clutching his grip almost more than he could bear. She was looking around the cafeteria as well.

"I don't know where he is. Do you think—"

Rufus' hand slid over hers and smoothed the anxiety in what he hoped would soon be oblivion. Lily looked back at him and forced herself to try and relax again.

"He's fine," she told him, not really believing a word of it. She had become so worried about Charles after what she'd heard had happened that she was so very jumpy when any of her other children were so much as hinted at being in harm's way.

Rufus smiled and continued to run his hand over the back of her own. He wondered if it soothed her. A tremulous smile from her told him that she appreciated his efforts, whether they were working or not.

…

The knock on the door startled Chuck from his late afternoon nap. Nate stood to his feet and crossed the room, letting the visitor in and slipping into the hall behind him.

"It's pitch black in here," the visitor said. Chuck allowed himself to smirk and fall inside his fantasy again.

"Not quite. The drapes are still opened."

Eric's gaze shifted towards the window and the waning sun. He cracked a smile and flipped on the light switch, igniting a bright light over Chuck's head. When the brunette winced, Eric turned off the light and moved to turn on the lamp at Chuck's bedside. Chuck looked up at him.

"Thanks," he muttered, still adjusting to the dimmer light. He decided he did not like light. Darkness was far better. It was much more decent to dream in.

"My mom's freaking out over you," he informed him.

"I don't know why." He adjusted himself in the bed, pulling up the covers a little. Eric assisted him and it irritated him to a degree. "It's not like I'm dying or anything."

Eric moved across the room and sat in Nate's vacated chair. "It's still a shock to all of us, Chuck. No one expected Chuck Bass, billionaire extraordinaire to get mugged in the alleyways of downtown Prague."

"I didn't do it on purpose," he said calmly. "Though," he continued after a short silence, "it would probably have been more romantic if I had." A grim smile graced his features. It did not take a brain surgeon to tell what he was thinking about. Eric knew it without even having to ask. Chuck was thinking about Blair.

The younger of the two contemplated the next course of action. He didn't think it'd be wise to suggest Jenny, since that'd lead to Blair and why she wasn't there sitting beside him. He could guess that she would've been beyond furious for what Chuck did. He wasn't sure of the exact story, but he guessed it involved a lonely Chuck and Jenny and then a Blair who'd decided a little too late that she still wanted Chuck.

Eric cleared his throat. "Look, I don't know if anyone has…" he paused, extremely unsure of how to go about this particular topic of conversation. He knew now what he wanted to approach Chuck with, whether it was smart or not. He just didn't know what to expect. This wasn't broody Chuck. This was…a Chuck he didn't recognize. Then again, he reminded himself, he had never seen Chuck after a life-or-death experience.

He stood up and paced for about ten seconds before returning to Chuck's bedside and looking at him very determined. Chuck blinked in amusement.

"Something you want to tell me, Van der Woodsen?"

It was now or never, he told himself. He swallowed hard and forced himself to retreat to his normal mentality of dealing with Chuck, and all that went along with that. He had been hit hard by the news of Chuck's bullet wound as well, but he couldn't dwell on his raging emotions now.

"Yes."

Chuck raised his eyebrows. He was answered in nothing but extended silence. "I don't read minds, Eric." His tone was somewhat sarcastic, almost joking, almost the older boy he admired. Eric didn't want to ruin it, but he had to say something.

"It's about Blair."

Chuck looked unfazed. When he said nothing, Eric panicked.

"Chuck," he said, hoping he had just fallen under some momentary daze.

"What?" he asked. Eric did not miss the bitter hint in his words. He knew better than to overstep his bounds with Chuck, but sometimes it needed to be done. Flashes of Chuck's behavior after Bart had died zoomed past his eyes.

"Don't you think someone should…" he sighed, "tell her about this."

Chuck looked away, wishing he had something to distract himself with. He contemplated demanding a wide variety of books to read from when people asked him such dangerous questions he didn't want to address. Whores and alcohol were simply not allowed to him in this situation. Doing the forbidden just wasn't even _possible_.

"No," he said, in the same decisive tone he'd told the demand to Nate in. Eric's brows fused just as Nate's had done.

"Chuck—"

He sighed, agitated that this conversation was going no better than the one with Nate had gone. He hated how everyone was so incredibly aware of his mad love for Blair Waldorf. _Maybe she had been in the right during their first affair when telling him to keep it a secret_.

"Aren't you just supposed to be grateful that I woke up instead of walking in and harping on me about why I don't want my ex-girlfriend coming to visit me after I got shot?" He almost snapped, and he hated that fact the second he realized it a moment later. He _never_ snapped at Eric. The one exception was after his father had died. He regretted that deeply. He and the younger Van der Woodsen had an understanding. Chuck felt that it was threatening to break. He tried to reign in his temper.

Eric said nothing. He took a few steadying breaths and decided to turn to a safer topic. "I am glad you're alive, Chuck, and awake." He smiled meekly. Chuck appeared to be skeptical but, since hardly anything Eric ever did was anything but the truth, he accepted it.

"I'm not."

His voice was so low and quiet, Eric thought he hadn't heard him. He hoped he hadn't, but he knew with overwhelming certainty that he had. That knowledge chilled him to the gut. Chuck hadn't deliberately put himself in harm's way but he may as well have. Eric knew losing Blair had always hit Chuck hard, but it truly seemed to be the end between them now by the way Chuck was acting, though Eric would never really believe it. They could never find in someone else what they'd found in each other, though he would be happy for either or both of them if they did find happiness elsewhere. It didn't seem that would even be possible if Chuck was likely to do something reckless the second the hospital released him. He swallowed hard.

"Can I stay in here…?"

Chuck looked up at him from his hard stare on the thin blankets. He was still caught in his ever returning grim, depressive, angry mood, but the simple question not only confused, but also lessened his negative mood.

"What are you talking about?"

"For the night," Eric clarified.

Chuck was dumbfounded. He hadn't expected that. Nate just stayed as if he belonged there, and Lily seemed quite attached to the room from what he'd been told. But Eric had requested it of him and it wasn't just a rhetorical question, one he offered up just to inform him of what he was planning to do. Eric's eager, wonderous, hopeful eyes told Chuck that he would do exactly what he told him. That ignited safety and relief in Chuck. It offered the possibility that Eric might even resist telling Blair of his current condition and location, and maybe that he'd even prevent other people from doing so.

"Sure," he said, the wonder hardly disguised in his voice.

Eric nodded once and headed back for the chair he'd abandoned. Chuck watched him, still in bewilderment over the sudden change in topic.

"You should sleep," Eric suggested.

"I just woke up," Chuck shot back, however weakly. It was almost a question. "And I've been sleeping for three days."

"Just a precaution," he assured him.

Chuck raised his eyebrows but silently agreed to the suggestion and leaned back in his bed, pressing the bed to lower him back to a full lying position. He had figured out the device before Nate had exited on way of Eric's entrance. This time there was no jolt like there had been several times before. He was proud of his accomplishment, however small it had been. He did not have the energy to dream big dreams anymore.

Still, his little step-brother's presence contented him, much more than Nate's had done. He suddenly was very afraid of him leaving.

"Eric," he called out, trying not to sound desperate. The sun had set, but it was not completely dark in the room, and the light was on, albeit dimly.

"What is it?" he asked.

Chuck shook his head, and turned off the lamp at his bedside. He would not admit to his need for him. He had done too much wrong to acknowledge any of his vulnerability aloud, at least for the time being.

"Nothing."

…

A/N: Hope you enjoyed. Please review! And uh, vote on my poll. XD


	3. Tug o' War

A/N: Not too long to wait, I don't think. XD Enjoy. Please review.

*I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.

…

**Ch.2—Tug o' War**

They were still giggling from their brief encounter with the French boys that had waved at them from the courtyard beneath the bridge. Somehow the two managed to finish crossing the bridge before blushing too furiously in front of the French handsomeness. It felt so refreshing to be desired by complete strangers in their new French clothes and cute hairstyles. They were living in luxury and thinking only of each other and the new beginning they'd started. Gone was _Nate_ and _Chuck_ and _NYU_ and _no college_. It was just _them_, just _Blair_ and _Serena_, and they were having the time of their life.

A smile plastered immovable on her face, Blair informed her counterpart that she was off to the ladies' room to check her make-up and hair – despite Serena's insistence that she still looked as gorgeous as ever. She wanted to be better prepared, and have more than pinkening cheeks to show off to cute French boys. _Maybe some charm_, for instance.

Fluttering, happy thoughts shattered in an instance once Serena felt her phone buzzing in her purse and making her aware of a new text message – from _Gossip Girl_. She swallowed hard and her face felt incredibly hot. She didn't have to open the message to know what it was about. Gossip Girl had been updating the UES almost constantly over the most recent scandalous thing that had happened. Serena had panicked when she saw the first one a day earlier…and then almost every few hours there had been an update. It was enough to drive a girl crazy, and definitely the kind of trigger that would pull one out of her fairytale. She had "borrowed" Blair's phone on multiple occurrences for this very reason. If she was uneasy by the message, she knew her best friend would absolutely fall apart. Despite the trip to France for the summer being Blair's idea, Serena knew it was her obligation to protect her. After all, she was just trying to "find herself" and figure things out, who she wanted to be with. The brunette was suffering from an extremely broken heart. The subject of _Chuck_ had not even come up between them yet. And until it did, she wasn't about to let Blair face this new horror alone. She knew she wouldn't let her in if that was the first thing she heard about Chuck.

She opened the message quickly, just to be sure she was right in her assumptions. She was. Shakily, she deleted the message, dug into the depths of her purse to find Blair's phone, which had followed in the vibrating almost right after hers had. She deleted the message instantly without even opening it. She didn't need to see it twice.

She scrolled down her contacts' list until she found her brother's name. She pressed _send_ and waited for his easy-going voice to answer.

"Serena."

He sounded easy-going, she decided. But not as much as she would have liked. There was almost disappointment and frustration in his voice. She decided to ignore any warning signs those subtleties might have been giving off. She was the one that had the right to be frustrated, not him.

"Eric, hey, I need to talk to you," she said, talking faster than what was normal. She couldn't tell what his initial reaction was, but his sigh said a lot. It said _disappointment_. The tangible evidence was harder to ignore.

"What is it?"

She forced herself not to get annoyed. "I need you to make sure mom doesn't do anything reckless." Eric's brows furrowed.

"Like what?" he asked, confusion replacing his barely there anger. Serena ran a hand through her long blonde hair, almost knocking the large hat off the top of her head. Blair had wordlessly suggested a smaller option, but she had insisted that it provided shade and was _elegant_. Thus, she won the battle. In her mind at least.

"Haven't you been getting them?"

Eric was lost. "What?"

"The Gossip Girl posts," she said through her teeth, as quietly as she could manage. Eric tensed.

"It's Gossip Girl, Serena," he said after a much too elongated silence. "What did you expect?"

"I expected someone to do something about it," she said, getting a little defensive. "Blair doesn't need this right now."

"So, just delete the messages off her phone," he said nonchalantly. He couldn't let himself get too emotionally involved with his frantic sister's demands. The last thing he wanted was for Blair to be in the dark with this one. The only reason he hadn't personally stomped over to where his sister and Blair were staying, was because _Chuck_ didn't want her involved either. It was hard to keep his temper from boiling over when the stubborn insistence was on _both_ ends and _he_ was supposed to be the _calm_ one.

"I've been doing that, but one of these times I'm not going to get there in time. I think she's getting a little suspicious that I'm always in need of her phone because I supposedly lost mine."

She sounded really panicked. Eric raised his eyebrows in amusement.

"I hate to tell you this Serena, but eventually it's going to come out. Even if Chuck never tells her—"

"He doesn't want to tell her?" she asked, suddenly excited. It was as if the world had stopped. Eric suddenly regretted his words. But there was no way he could take them back. Her hopeful glee was completely the truth.

"She's going to find out," he said, determined.

"_Eric_."

He sighed. "I'll try to keep mom in check."

"Thank-you."

"It won't be easy, you know. She's very fond of Chuck, and she was well aware – just like everyone else – how involved he was with Blair, how much he loved her."

Serena nodded along, having had the same thoughts course through her mind over a million times. Eric wondered if Serena knew just all Chuck had done to Blair, and all that had happened to him because of it. He decided right then that he wouldn't tell her. If anyone told her, it would be Blair, or maybe Chuck. He shook his head and almost laughed at the latter thought. Chuck had hardly spoken to anybody since he'd woken up a day and a half earlier. There was no way he'd take that leap of faith and confide in his step-sister about everything, mainly how he'd broken her best friend's heart.

"If anyone can do it, you can." He smiled, every bit of her words sarcastic as ever. Eric could neither roll his eyes nor scoff. Her sarcasm was unappreciated, as was the very obvious fact that she wasn't there to even _see_ how 'alright' her step-brother was after his _gun-shot wound_.

"Good-bye, Serena."

"The Gossip Girl blasts…"

He shook his head. "I can't do anything about those, Serena. Only Chuck knew enough to manipulate what Gossip Girl did or didn't send out, and obviously he's not going to exert much effort to get rid of anything right now."

Serena's lips parted to say something, but was cut off.

"Bye."

She sighed and slipped the phones back into her purse. The messages were deleted. Eric would try to prevent their mother from being too helpful in regards to Chuck, even if he didn't want to. All Serena had to do was distract her best friend as long as possible. The easiest way to do that was to pretend she didn't know anything either.

She washed away the repeat Gossip Girl blast from her mind and smiled brightly as Blair exited the restrooms, looking brighter and more beautiful than ever. Serena was content with her decision. It was the right thing to do.

…

**Looks like our favorite boy billionaire is still residing in the hospital in Prague, healing up from his wounds. Word has it, he's woken up and is refusing visitors. Does that include B, or is he still on her naughty list? Send me the deets and I'll let **_**everyone**_** know.**

** -xoxo Gossip Girl**

…

Eric tried as best as he could to close his phone in a normal fashion. He was sitting in Chuck's room again and their conversation had only just been cut short by the buzzing of his phone. He didn't know where Chuck's phone was, but he was glad it wasn't in reach. He didn't think that would be good for either of them.

"Anything interesting?" Chuck asked curiously. Eric's eyes snapped up to his. He smiled coolly.

"Nope."

Chuck studied his face for about two seconds before letting his suspicions go. Eric clearly knew not to approach the topic of Blair again and he was avoiding discussing Serena too, just as he himself had decided to do. He respected him for that. But some part of him knew it was only a matter of time. Eric was always trying to _help_. He was usually pretty good at it too.

"You were saying?" Eric interrupted Chuck's thoughts to bring him back to reality. "Why exactly did you come to Prague?"

Chuck blinked and tried very hard to come up with an intelligent response. _Why _did_ he come to Prague? Had that _really_ been what they had been talking about? _The topic was stupid as far as he was concerned. Then again, his concerns were not really that important to him anymore. He settled for a simple answer.

"I hadn't been here in awhile. It's a beautiful city."

Eric nodded softly, not letting on about any of his suspicions.

"And did you find what you were looking for?" Eric cursed himself for sounding like such a…psychiatrist. Chuck raised his eyebrows in amusement. Eric gave himself a mental pat on the back for at least raising his step-brother's spirits.

"Is this supposed to be a heart-warming family film?" he asked, a laugh strangled in his throat. Eric shrugged and smiled slowly.

"I was just curious."

Chuck nodded in amused disbelief and turned his head back out the window. He turned suddenly very solemn. "I want to go out there again sometime… when the doctors think I'm well enough. I want to…" His voice stopped. Eric scrutinized him a bit, worry starting to crawl across his skin. He was afraid of what Chuck would do out on the streets where he'd been shot.

Chuck's face turned back to Eric and the solemn expression vanished. A smile appeared on his face, and it startled him. "You should come with me. It could be a _bonding_ experience." Chuck chuckled and Eric smirked a little, albeit uneasily. He was definitely amused.

"Sure," he said. Chuck smiled a little more and then relaxed back into his bed, turning his face back towards the window. "Tell me about this new boyfriend of yours," he said, raising an eyebrow in his direction briefly. He was clearly holding back a smile.

Eric sighed, hoping it sounded like embarrassment or resistance. He didn't want to talk about Elliot. Things weren't even that official yet. They hadn't even gone out on a date. But that wasn't the point. Eric was dying to talk to Chuck about Blair again. He had been itching to since their last conversation about her. He just didn't want to get him upset again. He got the feeling that Chuck had not been opening up to anyone. He had somehow gained the ability to not only get him to open up, but also stir his spirits in a healthful manner. The smiles and laughs and amusement lighting up his face were always brief, but Eric had given himself several gold stars and mental pats on the back for them. They were stepping stones to get Chuck all better. He wouldn't give up.

"There's not much to tell…" He wrapped an arm around the back of his neck as if the trunk between his head and the rest of his body ached with a burning sensation.

"Tell me," Chuck said, amusement still there. On any other occasion, Eric would have indulged his step-brother's full attention relentlessly. But he knew an opportunity when he saw one. He had given Chuck enough time to stomach the inquiries about Blair – _24 hours_. Sometimes, Chuck needed to be pushed.

"You first," he said. His eyes pierced intensely through Chuck's hazel brown eyes which now significantly darkened. His expression became stone cold.

"I don't have one." Eric waited, on edge, for what he would say next. Chuck's somber expression faded again. "I'm not gay." He winked.

Eric sighed and forced a smile. He should be congratulating himself, he knew. He had gotten Chuck to be carefree and not in such a sullen mood. It wouldn't last, but he should still have considered it a huge accomplishment. It just did not give him a good feeling though, and he knew it was for the sole reason that he hadn't taken denial into consideration when he'd wanted to lift Chuck's spirits.

"I think the world is aware of that, Chuck," Eric informed him. Chuck smirked.

"I'm nothing if not good advertisement."

Eric shook his head and actually laughed, genuinely. The fleeting thought that maybe he should forget about bringing up Blair flew past him before he'd had a moment to consider it. It just happened.

"I'm pretty sure you could get any woman on the planet to do your advertising for you," he said, a twinkle in his eyes. Chuck's smirk widened into a wide, satisfied smile.

"Amongst other things," he murmured, shrugging nonchalantly. The two continued to share their smiles and the conversation set into a steady pattern. Eric had forgotten about bringing up Blair entirely. Chuck had become so relaxed and almost energetic, it made him incredibly happy. In the back of his mind he told himself it was more important that Chuck was happy than if he was happy with Blair. There was a guilty feeling aligned with that thought, but he did not pay attention to it.

"Oh, too bad Blair isn't here," Eric said on a sigh, just recovering from a long, hearty laugh and reclining into the stiff chair he'd settled in.

"Why's that?" Chuck asked, his voice suddenly less joyous. Eric did not take notice soon enough.

"Well, she's just so funny to watch when we talk about—" His voice caught in his throat and his eyes aligned with Chuck's, who looked more deadly than ever. He was so afraid to speak.

"She should be here," he finally said. Chuck looked away. Eric desperately hoped he hadn't scared off the joyous Chuck that had been in his presence for the last twenty or so minutes.

"No," Chuck said. His head seemed frozen in place looking out the window. Eric wondered if he saw some sort of freedom in the view from his window, some sort of escape from what had happened between him and Blair.

"If she was here…" Chuck began before Eric could organize his thoughts. The boy's heart almost stopped at the possibility that the torn bed-ridden boy sitting across from him would actually start talking about the girl he'd scorned almost as badly as he loved. "…then, I'd have to talk to her." He nodded once, assuring himself that would be the case.

Eric's brows narrowed. "Usually that's what people do…when they see each other…" he trailed off, confused. He wanted to ask Chuck to explain himself but he knew that was easier said (or thought) than done. If Chuck was going to explain himself, it would be on his own terms.

"She said she never wanted me to say anything else to her…ever again," he sighed, sounding like he was reliving the moment all over again. "Most especially, Jenny's name." He shuddered when he said it. Eric saw how the pain rippled through him. He tensed instantly.

"_Jenny_," he said very quietly. Chuck turned his head towards him, his eyes extremely curious in their dark fashion.

"Why do you want Blair to be here?" he asked coldly. "You should hate me almost as much as Dan for what I did to Jenny." He nearly spat at him, but Eric didn't take offense.

"Because she should be here, Chuck," he said knowingly, softly. Chuck looked at him with searching eyes, screaming _why_ with all their might. Eric leaned forward in his chair and propped his forearms on his thighs. "Don't you want her to be here?"

Chuck seemed to have been jolted back to the façade he'd put in place to keep himself safe from all the hurt and expectations and guilt…and love. His face transformed into the grim expression Eric hadn't seen all day. Chuck leaned back against his bed and turned his head out the window once more.

"No."

If Eric hadn't been so heartbroken by Chuck's retreat transformation, he would have scoffed. He had never heard a lie so easily seen through as that.

…

A/N: Hope you enjoyed! =D CB interaction won't be for awhile, but it won't be much longer before B learns of Chuck's…predicament. Please read on! ;D And review! =p


	4. Tears that Burn

A/N: I have decided to merge two of my chapters on my outline, since I know you guys want to see some actual action going on, some progression in the story instead of more unbearable filler stuff. XD Enjoy! And please vote on the new poll I've posted on my profile. =) I've had several ideas for Chuck/Blair/Eva encounters, based on the S4 spoilers that have been slipping out, but I _refuse_ to create a million more multi-chap fics on each. I just _can't_. Heh. It would just be a collection of drabbles and oneshots based on the spoilers. I've had a million ideas running through my head concerning them and I'd really like to write them out, to an extent. It's only gonna be a summer thing before the season starts, based on the pre-season spoilers, so please vote (even if I've basically decided to do it regardless). Heheh. On with the story. XD

…

**Ch.3—Tears that Burn**

It had been a long day. Like the rest, it left her feeling incredibly satisfied. Being with Serena, shopping, touring the excellence that was France – mostly Paris. She must have bought twenty new purses and plenty of fun, flirty, swaying summer dresses. She felt incredibly sexy under the warm Parisian sun, and the light blushing that filled her cheeks at the compliments the French boys gave her completely always made her day. She wished she'd always been single.

That was a lie.

It would be the farthest thing from the truth if she told anyone, including herself, that she'd forgotten Chuck and his impact on her life the moment she'd walked out of the lobby of his hotel. It was a struggle everyday to just _enjoy_ herself, despite how easy she made it look. There were times, she could honestly admit, she was having a marvelous time. It was true; it was just always accompanied with a thought, a memory, of Chuck. She imagined what she'd be doing if he was there, how incredible it'd be to kiss him again – as if she could ever forget the fireworks that exploded whenever their lips touched. She'd create fantasies of them holding hands, leaning into each other as they explored the most romantic locations in all of France. Being with Serena was fantastic, and she wouldn't replace it for anything. _But Chuck_…he had imbedded himself in her blood. At a time like this, she hated it. Because after she fantasized and then mourned her dreams about Chuck that weren't reality, she would remember that he nearly traded her in to his deceitful uncle for a _hotel_, and that he slept with Jenny Humphrey in what couldn't have been more than half an hour after the proposed time to meet at the top of the Empire State Building. Then, she would cry angry tears. But never in front of Serena or in public. She always waited until after the bubbly blonde fell into a deep sleep. Then she'd sneak off into the large bathroom in their hotel room. She'd climb into the oversized bathtub, and cry.

The light snores made by Serena were finally heard by the nearly shaking brunette, cueing her to leave the bed and quietly have her hidden tears in the bathroom across the room. Blair had promised herself she wouldn't purge again, even if she could keep it secret. So, she just cried instead. Besides, her self-confidence wasn't low because of what had happened between her and Chuck. She was just suffering from a broken heart.

Before she could get very far though, Blair noticed the soft blinking light of her phone alerting her of a missed call. She reached for it at its place on the edge of the small table on her side of the bed. She squinted a bit, her eyes already blurring with tears, and a belated shock slightly skittered her system. Confusion quickly accompanied.

"_Lily_?" she whispered aloud, swamped into a fresh bout of confusion. Serena moaned in her sleep beside her, and Blair very carefully, very slowly, stood from her spot at the edge of the bed and moved towards the other side of the room, slipping inside the bathroom and closing the door behind her. Her eyes widened in shock and pain as she listened to the message.

_"Blair, this is Lily. I hope both you and Serena are having a lovely time together in France. I only wish the best for the two of you and I'm sure that this is exactly what you need to prepare yourself for the new year." She paused, and then sighed. _

Blair grew incredibly wary.

_"I know this news may hurt you, but I can't imagine Serena having told you, and I feel that you simply must know. Serena has good intentions, I'm sure, but I can't imagine deep down you or Chuck would want to keep this kind of thing from each other, despite your current circumstances." _

She froze. _Chuck? _Hesitantly, she continued listening to the message. She ignored the warning signs screaming at her to hang up immediately. She'd done the same when she'd decided to give Chuck his second chance…before she'd found out about Jenny. Somehow, at the moment, the familiarity of her decision did not jog her memory enough to change her course of actions, or at least think twice.

_"If you already know about this dreadful news…"_

She swallowed hard_. Dreadful?_

_"…then, I sincerely apologize for burdening you with it again, but my instincts tell me you haven't got a clue." She took a single deep breath and slowly exhaled._

Blair thought she might be sweating for how Lily was preparing to reveal the _shocking_ news she had regarding Chuck. She felt incredibly uneasy.

_"I don't know the exact details of how it happened, but…"_

_Just tell me already! _Blair cried in her mind. She was so desperate for the information now, hot tears began spilling down her cheeks. Lily's following sigh and pause nearly drove her crazy.

_"Chuck was mugged…and shot…in an alleyway in Prague." She sighed again. "He's in the hospital. I just thought maybe…"_

Lily's voice trailed off into the distance and was finally silenced when the phone slipped out of Blair's hand as she crumbled to the floor. She was shaking horribly as she slid down against the wall to the tiled, marble floor. Her breath was catching in the warning of full-out crying. She didn't know in the slightest what she was actually feeling. She didn't know if she was scared to death for Chuck, furious at him for getting in the line of danger, or on the brink of lunging at Serena for having not told her sooner, whatever her reasons may have been. All she knew was that she wasn't glad he had been shot. She would have been a far sicker human being than any horror writer could have possibly concocted if she took pleasure in her ex-boyfriend – despite how he'd hurt her, even unforgivably so – getting shot while all alone in some filthy, abandoned alleyway in a foreign country, with only despicable muggers as his companions. Briefly she wondered what they'd mugged from him, but the thought disappeared in a heartbeat as the whole situation overwhelmed her. Still, she didn't know what exactly she felt about it all. She needed to sleep, she knew. It would help her figure out how she felt by morning. She knew it was for the best, but she simply could not sleep next to Serena. Not only would the blonde be alerted to her best friend's tears, but Blair was not sure she'd be able to control herself for keeping such a secret from her when she knew how heartbroken she was over Chuck. The possibility that Serena actually thought that her best friend would be… She sighed, ignoring what her thought may have been. She decided she'd stay and the bathroom and cry. For an entirely different reason, she cried, muffling her cries in her arm as much as she possibly could. She hugged herself tightly, trying to get her shaking under control, but she didn't think it did her much good. Everything felt like it was closing in on her. She didn't know if she fell asleep.

…

Her long blonde hair twisted and whirled around her as she pulled the large silken cover off her and slowly sat forward in an attempt to wake herself up. She blinked at the clock that shone 10:59 and was briefly startled by the "late" hour. Blair was not beside her, but she was not alarmed. Blair always had been an early riser, for the most part. She imagined she had probably showered, gotten dressed and was admiring herself in the mirror, waiting for her best friend to rise from her slumber. Perhaps she'd even ordered room service like they usually did in the morning. The possibility was always there that they were going out for breakfast. Serena liked the possibility of that. She extremely liked the outdoor cafes that seemed to decorate every corner of Paris, France.

"B…" she moaned softly, her voice escalating as her pretty pink lips opened to unleash a loud yawn. She rubbed her eyes and searched the room for her best friend. She saw her. Sitting prim and proper and particularly colorful at the petite breakfast set-up in front of the floor to ceiling windows near the entrance to the veranda, Blair looked at her late-riser of a best friend.

She did not look happy.

Serena frowned. "B?"

Blair blinked and didn't move. Serena grew worried. Quickly, she uncovered the rest of her slender form from the bed sheets and slipped off the bed. She padded over to Blair in an urgency that she wasn't sure usually accompanied the moments right after waking, except perhaps in the need to turn off an alarm.

Blair had turned her face away and was looking out the window. Now Serena was sure something was wrong. She watched her carefully for a long time, wondering how to approach the situation. She decided going with the basics was best.

"Blair, what's wrong?"

The brunette said nothing, just continued to look out the window. Serena felt her resolve breaking down. She went to place some of Blair's hair behind her ear, but her best friend recoiled. Her brows narrowed worriedly. Finally, the brunette sighed and stood to her feet. She moved across the room, and grabbed a few accessories off the bedside table and stuffed them in what, Serena now realized, was Blair's _packed_ suitcase – _all_ of them.

Serena could not speak. Nothing was making sense. They hadn't fought. They hadn't done anything out of the ordinary. Everything had been peachy keen as far as she was concerned. Well, beside the gossip girl blasts that she was ever deleting off of Blair's phone. Her eyes widened in the possible realization that one had been sent during the night. Cautiously, she moved back towards the bed and rummaged around for her phone. When it showed absolutely no new messages, she was completely confused and even more worried about Blair's demeanor.

"Were you ever going to tell me?"

It had occurred to Blair to toy around with her best friend, pretend everything was alright until Serena finally spilled. She was far too overwrought to mess with her though, to come out on top with her schemes as she always was. She was still completely broken from the news she'd gotten the night before. But now she definitely knew what she felt. And one of those feelings was pure hatred for what Serena had done. Irritation didn't even _begin_ to touch how intensely she was feeling about the situation. Expressing her "sad" feelings on the subject at the moment simply would not happen. After what Serena had done, she didn't deserve to know how broken her best friend felt.

The question was Serena's undoing. She tensed, shock and realization running through her as she slowly turned around back to Blair. Her hands sweat lightly in their grip of her cell phone. She was nervous, and rightly so. She couldn't even remember what grounds she'd had on keeping the news from Blair.

"Blair…" she began slowly.

Blair folded her arms across her chest and raised her eyebrows, daring her to give a decent excuse for her actions. She obviously already knew that Serena had known, so that excuse was out. She searched for something that would reach the heart of the matter.

"He's hurt you so much," she tried. Blair scoffed.

"You don't even know half of what happened," she spat. Serena's face drooped into even more overwhelming concern, if that was possible.

"Because you won't tell me. I know you, B. You don't say things when they hurt too much, even to think about." Serena felt her reasons come back to her, but they just didn't seem to stand as strongly as she'd hoped they would under Blair's angry gaze. She stepped towards her, away from her packed bags.

"Maybe I didn't tell you because I was still hurting, but you had no right to keep this from me."

"Blair, he hurt—"

"He slept with Jenny!" she shrieked before she could stop herself. "He basically traded me to Jack for his hotel, and then when I'd finally forgiven him, he slept with Jenny, right before I got to him. He _hurt_ me."

Serena was speechless. She was heartbroken, and belatedly angry with Chuck, but even more she was confused. _If Blair was so hurt, why was she so furious for being kept from the update in Chuck's life? _She'd think she'd want to address after she'd healed over at least a little.

"But don't even think for one moment, that anything he could do would keep from loving him, from caring about him. Life or death is a little more important to me than a broken relationship," she said, staring at her best friend very intensely. Then, she marched back to her things and grabbed the little purse that sat on top. She paused at the door and looked back at Serena.

"I'm going to Prague."

Serena's eyes widened and her lips parted. She took one step forward. "B, I'm sorry I kept this from you, but you can't just march in there and—"

"I don't need your permission for anything," she said coldly, closing the door behind her before Serena could say another word.

Frantic, Serena wiped her hands against her nightgown and found _NATE_ in her contacts' list. Briefly, she realized this would be the first time since she'd left, since they'd broken up, that she would be talking with Nate. She didn't know what he'd been up to, but his declaration not to wait for her hung in the air as it did every night when she went to sleep. She swallowed hard and pressed _SEND_.

"Serena," he said, not sounding surprised in the least. She moved past the confusion that settled in her mind.

"Nate, hi," she moved past the casualties. This conversation wasn't about them. It was about Chuck and Blair. "Blair found out. I don't know how but…" she sighed briefly, and then continued before Nate could interrupt her. Though it wasn't as if he'd tried. He'd been icily silent. "She's coming."

His brows furrowed, emotions finally ebbing out of him. "What are you talking about?"

She sighed, grateful she'd gotten through to him and trying very hard to gather up her emotions on all that had just happened with Blair. "I'm telling you," she said very slowly, "that somehow she found out that Chuck was mugged and got shot, and she's coming to Prague to see him."

Nate's eyes widened. He couldn't say anything for the long time.

"Nate?" she asked, when she couldn't take the silence a second longer. She heard him clear his throat and inhale sharply.

"I'll look for her," he said. Her brows furrowed.

"_What_?"

"I said I'd look for her, Serena. If she's coming, she's coming. You know we can't keep those two apart."

The dial tone greeted her before she could say another word. Slowly, she pulled the phone away from her ear and stared at it blankly, as if she couldn't believe what had just happened. Blair had found out. Blair was going to Chuck. And Nate was going to "look for her"?Somehow, she just knew all hell was about to break loose.

…

A/N: Hope you enjoyed. =) I rather enjoyed it. Hehe. Please review! =D


	5. Ready or Not

A/N: Though my time has become pretty limited, I am writing as much as I can. =) Enjoy, and please review.

*I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.

…

**Ch.4—Ready or Not**

It'd been awhile since she'd been here, to Prague. The warm summer air brushed across her face and for a moment she just let herself get lost in the city and how beautiful it looked in the month of June. The cobblestone streets, ancient buildings, and grand fountains in the centers of the streets took her to a place that she did not even know how to describe. When a made-up memory of herself and Chuck in this city came to her, she wished it was true. For a few brief moments, she could believe it was and not be so sad about the situation. It wouldn't last. Soon, her mind had already wandered back to the reasons _why_ that memory was not true. The reminder made her walk a little faster on those cobblestone streets.

She'd been furious after her conversation with Lily just before she boarded the plane. She didn't think she could trust anyone other than Lily, since she'd been the one to have left the message. She didn't know why she hadn't gotten said message sooner, but it was better late than never. At least it hadn't been _weeks_ later that she'd been notified. Then, there would be some serious need for damage control. According to Lily, everyone except the legitimate Humphrey children had been at the hospital since the very beginning – Nate, Eric, Rufus. In Blair's eyes, it looked like Serena had been set up as a distraction to keep _her_ away. She would not be forgiving the blonde anytime soon.

Twenty minutes later and she was sure she was lost. She scolded herself for not taking the limo all the way to the hospital, but some part of her just wanted to enjoy the city where he'd been. Even if she wasn't aware of it, maybe on accident she'd walk down the same streets he did, even the one that had led to his accident. Memories – or would-be memories – interrupted her though, and that led to her being lost. She sighed, and trailed along slowly down the long block, the sounds of children giggling and light traffic seeming a world away. _Maybe it was_, she thought. _Maybe this was just all a really bad dream._ She got excited by that prospect. _Maybe she was just spending the summer with Chuck in Prague this time around; maybe they were even touring Europe! Or wherever the Czech Republic was on the map…_ She couldn't remember now. But the simple geography fact brought her out of her hazy wishful thinking, the same thinking she'd had the moment she'd walked out of the penthouse suite she and Serena had been staying at in Paris. She'd been having wishful thinking. Everything would just be too overwhelming, she told herself, if she actually considered the full extent of the situation.

"Blair?"

Her name sounded somewhere in the distance and it jolted her out of her 'wishful thinking' again. She spun around and exhaled in relief.

"Nate," she said, like she'd been expecting him hours ago and he'd just _now_ showed – _late_. Curious as to her demeanor, but clearly prepared for it, Nate walked toward her. "Am I anywhere close to the hospital?" she asked on a nervous muttering laugh. The switch in her mood did not seem to surprise the blonde boy either. She did not think about how odd that was.

Finally, he reached her. "Serena told me you'd be coming."

Blair's face paled at the mention of her best friend. She shook off the cold, betrayed feeling. "So, am I? Or did you just scour the city for me when you knew I was coming?" She laughed a little again, this time not so nervously, or faked. She was genuinely amused by the possibility.

Nate finally halted in front of her and smiled lightly. He couldn't tell if she was just trying to look brave in front of him, but if she was really serious about coming to see Chuck, he was determined to be the one to prepare her for it. _He was not exactly the guy she walked out on anymore._

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked, point-blank. Her eyes widened briefly and she swallowed a lump that had formed in her throat. She considered pretending she didn't know what he was talking about, but they both knew that wouldn't work. She knew she couldn't keep it up for long either, like she usually could. The only reason she was in Prague was to see Chuck.

"I should have been here from the beginning," she told him solemnly, softly. He looked like he was torn between what to say next.

"Lily told you what happened, right?" he asked. She nodded.

"Yes."

She thought about telling him that he should have been the one but decided against it. He may have been part of their non-judging breakfast club, but in essence, he had no more responsibility than Lily to tell her. Maybe a little more, because of all their history. But it should have been Serena. The cold betrayal she felt settled in her stomach again.

He sighed. "I don't think you know what you're getting yourself into, Blair," he said. That sent a chill through her. She straightened her shoulders then, remember every time she'd come to Chuck's aid in the past.

"I think I handle it," she said, somewhat bitterly. Nate was not taken aback. He had expected her to go against what everyone thought was in her best interest, or at least what Serena thought. Nate wondered briefly if Serena knew what was _really_ best for her best friend.

"He doesn't want to see you," he confided quietly, unable to avoid how her eyes fell and her face diminished to sorrow. Still, she built herself up again.

"That's never stopped me before," she said proudly. "You know that." There was a long silence between them. Finally, Nate reached out his hand to grab her arm gently, hoping the contact would help her see the harshness of the situation more clearly. He didn't want to see her crumble again by plowing into Chuck's room just to be rejected for her arrival.

"He's not the guy you knew anymore, Blair," he told her softly. Her eyes flickered to his slowly. He visibly saw her gulp and hoped he'd been gentle enough in his bearing of bad news. "At least not right now," he corrected. "And he's hurt you so bad, worse than what he did after his father died. And then, he had a decent excuse." He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "If you want to see him, I won't stop you. Getting in the way of you and Chuck in the past has never boded well for me." He wanted to chuckle at the statement but could not find it in him to do so. Blair smiled slightly. "I just don't know if now's the right time for you to be taking such a risk, on both of you."

She looked up at him and saw the knowledge and protection in his eyes. He was trying to protect both of them, not just her. Despite what Chuck had done to her over the last couple months, Chuck's near death experience had clearly brought him to a jolting realization of how close he'd been close to his best friend, the one who sometimes had been the only person there for him. He sympathized with his situation now, knew how important it was for him to be with her, to know she still cared. But he didn't want her to get burned in the crossfire. Chuck was consumed with guilt and extremely bitter. He sensed that would not be safe to encounter after just having been hurt so badly.

"I'll come back later," she said, a weak smile playing on her lips. "Don't be there when I come," she requested. He nodded, watching her with concern. "I'll call a cab, so I don't get lost." They both smiled softly, more assured than they'd been during the entire conversation.

"See ya later, Nate." She turned away, following the cobblestone down the street. He watched her, almost afraid she would fall.

"Bye," he whispered.

….

_This was unbelievable_. _They_ were unbelievable. She was fuming. And had _no_ idea how she ended up right outside Chuck's room. Once she recovered from the most recent conversation she'd had – with her little brother and mother – she hesitantly opened the door and shut it behind her softly. It was as if she had just planned it as the next step on her to-do list. Once inside, she regretted it. She hadn't really taken the time to think about the seriousness of Chuck's situation, just how it would affect Blair, and because of that, how much she would need to keep her away.

"I was starting to think you wouldn't come, Sis."

She froze. The room was dark, despite it being midday. The blinds were closed, only little slits of white light shining through. Chuck sat completely still, at ease with no obvious sign of tension. But she could feel it in the atmosphere. She wondered if he was mad at her. Nate had told her that he just seemed mad at himself, and maybe at the world in general, and to not take it too personally.

She cleared her throat and straightened, shaking off her initial reaction of a deer caught in the headlights. "Chuck," she said awkwardly, hesitantly walking across the room. He said nothing, just blinked. Eventually, she reached the other side of the room and subconsciously reached for the string to pull the blinds open.

"_Don't_," he said. There was no room for questioning. Serena dropped the string immediately, shocked at her own action. She felt as though she'd been sucked in some sort of black hole, where she couldn't control her actions and almost every thought she had turned blank.

She walked towards the middle of the room and sat on the chair against the wall. It was directly in front of his bed. Even in the darkness, his eyes pierced into her, so intensely that she thought she would burst. A mix of feelings flooded through her, but the most overwhelming one was guilt.

"So…" she continued her pathetic attempt at a conversation. _What did someone say when confronted with something like this? Especially to a person like Chuck. _Finally, she sighed, on the brink of dropping her head in her hands and just giving up. Slowly, as she continued to look into Chuck's eyes, she saw what was really there. He wasn't mad at her. He was mad Blair had come. Vaguely, Serena wondered if Blair had already been there. In the throw down between her mother and Eric, the topic hadn't even really been approached, not with details. In Chuck's eyes, Serena saw he was scared of her, of Blair, of confronting her. She shivered under that realization.

"I'm sorry, Chuck," she said softly. Sympathy overwhelmed him, and almost as if he were burned by it, Chuck turned his head towards the covered window. Silence resumed its place in the room. "I tried to keep her away…" she started again several minutes later. "But she," she sighed, "She gravitates toward you." She chuckled lightly as she thought of her mother's actions. "And my mother is relentless." She shook her head.

Slowly, Chuck's head turned back to her. "I don't blame you for Blair coming here," he said. She looked up to him, almost shocked by his words. "She pushed me out of her life. I fully deserved it. Just because I got injured shouldn't change that." Serena's lips parted. A fresh dose of guilt consumed her, and in that moment she knew she'd been wrong to keep Blair away. "You kept her away as long as you could, so I wouldn't hurt her." His eyes scanned her face, struggling to put his feelings into words. "Thank-you."

"Chuck—"

_"Serena!" Lily leapt to her feet. Nate, Eric and Rufus all stood to their feet beside her just down the hall from Chuck's room._

_ "Uh-oh," Eric muttered, knowing the look on Serena's face before she could even voice exactly what she was feeling. He was about to slip out of the vicinity entirely when he realized Nate had already done so. Briefly, he was irritated by the fact that more than one of them slipping out on the encounter of Serena's noisy arrival would be suspicious. He relaxed though when he realized Nate had more of a cause for escape than he did._

_ "What exactly did you think you were doing?" Serena fumed, looking straight at her mother and no one else as she crossed the large hallway._

_ "Serena, keep your voice down," Lily scolded lightly._

_ "I told you not to tell her," she said, her voice low and dangerous. It probably was not the smartest thing to do – taking authority over her mother – but she couldn't help it. She was furious. A moment after she spat the words to her mother, she shot her jagged edged gaze to Eric, who was trying to look innocent beside his mother._

_ "I did what I thought was best, dear. It wasn't as if this was a two-second decision. I thought long and hard about this." She nodded encouragingly. Serena scoffed, unaware of how much she was boiling over. _

_ "You have no idea how much Chuck has hurt her. I know he got shot, and that's horrible, but she's not ready for this," she insisted. Her voice had lowered to a fierce concern. For the first time, Lily's face softened as if she was almost reconsidering her decision._

_ "I'm sorry, Serena. I know you're worried about Blair. We all are. I am not the only one who has been trying to decide what is best for the both of them in this, but…" she sighed. "They love each other. Don't you think that qualifies for a good reason for them to see each other."_

_ Serena face hardened. "No," she said coldly. "I think that's exactly the reason they should stay apart." She walked past the rest of them further down the hall._

_ "Serena—" Eric called to her, grabbing her arm before she could go any further. She snapped away. He could not blame her._

_ "You didn't even try to stop her from calling, did you?" she asked him point-blank. Eric sighed, but gave no explanation. He had tried to stop his mother on a couple occurrences that he had caught her on the verge of calling Blair. But he had not tried very hard. It would not calm his sister's fury any if he told her that. _

_ Serena was down the hall before Eric could even open his mouth. Maybe she wanted him to be guilty, unreliable, he thought. _

_ "He's in room 208!" Lily called to her, looking bright and cheerful as if nothing had happened. When Serena had turned the corner, however, she nearly collapsed back into the chair she'd recently vacated. Rufus tried his best to console her. Eric slowly sat back in his own chair._

"What?" he asked, sounding truly curious. Serena blinked, realizing she'd begun a sentence she hadn't finished over the last couple minutes. She cleared her throat and focused on the task of talking with Chuck. It proved harder than she thought. All possible topics, especially regarding his accident, vanished from her mind. Either that, or they translated into complete gibberish.

"Can I get you anything? Water, maybe?" she finally asked. Chuck raised his eyebrows, and then she noticed he had a glass of water sitting beside him on a tray.

"Oh."

"Look, Serena, you don't have to try and force conversation. I get it. It was a shock, and you were trying to protect Blair. You can go."

Her eyebrows furrowed and a pout formed on her lips. Chuck sighed, looking a bit annoyed and clearly reluctant to say what had already started coming out of his mouth.

"You can open the blinds," he consented. She pursed her lips, just barely suppressing her relief and the beginning of excitement, accomplishment, appreciation from Chuck – the one who had been _injured_. She jumped up from her seat and headed towards the window. Chuck rolled his eyes at the sight of his step-sister practically having transformed into a jackrabbit.

"You know, I really am sorry this had to happen to you. I mean, despite what happened, you shouldn't have had this done to you. It really is very cruel. I mean, you're Chuck Bass after all. All you wanted to do was get a little wasted—"

"Serena," he interrupted her. She was talking too fast, and about things he didn't want to approach. He wasn't about to relive what had happened out loud. Startled, she froze and then turned to him.

"Just the blinds," he said, smiling with just enough restraint to not come off cold. But Serena got the message loud and clear.

"Right." She turned and finished opening the blinds.

…

She had delayed on purpose.

She hadn't called the cab until after it got dark. Then, she had given the driver about five different places to go to, all conveniently on opposite sides of the city. He'd warned her that it would cost a lot to drive to so many places. She's looked at him like he was stupid, like if he didn't know who she was and what she had, there'd be some serious hellfire inflicted on him. Luckily for him, he wasn't dense enough to miss the warning signs.

The places she stopped were supposed to be the classiest, most beautiful, historical landmarks in all of Prague. She didn't even get out of the car. The cab driver was clearly confused but said nothing. The woman was high maintenance if nothing else, he decided. Finally, after an extremely long pointless day, she gave him the name of the hospital. It'd been after midnight when they got there. She gave him his money and fled the vehicle, only slowing down once they'd gotten inside. She didn't see the man shaking his head at her as he pulled away.

_"American females,"_ he'd muttered into the night.

Her feet slowed as she made her way to the correct floor. A pending sense of doom engulfed her. She was scared to death. The realization startled her. She knew she'd been nervous throughout the day, thinking of how it'd be to them after all that had happened. How was she supposed to act? He had betrayed her more than she'd ever thought possible. It was worse than when Nate had cheated on her with her best friend. And not just because he was Chuck and she was Blair. There was more to it. She couldn't even form the words or the feeling that cut at her when she'd realized in the midst of all of them in the lobby just what he had done. She'd never wanted to see him again.

But then he'd gotten shot. And no one had told her. She'd had to hear it from Lily, who had been restrained for awhile even. And here she was again. Coming to see him in his time of need. And he didn't want her there. She felt insulted by that request. But the sense of dread still overwhelmed her. She wasn't as strong as she'd been when Jack had brought back Chuck from the empty pit of drugs and whores he'd allowed himself to fall into. Then, she wasn't as involved. She was just waiting for an 'I love you' and for him to get better. The only real damage he'd done was to himself, despite the fact that she'd been beyond worried about him every second of every day. This time there was so much more involved, and she was at the center of it. Could she sustain under the pressure of his insisting she not be there? Last time he'd gone off the deep end, she'd paid for it. His words had been so cruel, his actions even worse.

_But Jack wasn't involved this time. That had to mean something. One less thing to worry about. Less intensity. Less sorrow. More possibility for improvement. Right?_ She sighed, running a hand through her hair as her shaky legs made it down the hall. It scared her just to see him in his hospital room, all bandaged up and breathing heavily in the dark. She couldn't even think where they'd be in terms with each other after all of this was over. _Would he just go back to being out of her life? It'd_ only been about two weeks she'd left him. That wasn't enough time to heal. And she'd sworn there would never be sufficient time to grant him forgiveness. He would never be part of her life again.

_So, why was she here?_

Nate had texted her a few hours ago, telling her the number of Chuck's room. He'd known as well as she did that telling the information over the phone would be too painful. They could be stoic about it and just exchange the information like professionals. But Blair would forget before the call was over. Her mind would float away into memories that seemed easier and easier to come to these days, as soon as Nate said Chuck's name. Nate would wonder if she forgot when the call was over. He'd be prepared for a call back. He might even stay in one place just waiting for her to call back. _Heck, she didn't know what he did in his free time._ She'd heard Chuck was becoming extremely different, very hard to keep a conversation with. Except for Eric, who apparently was a pro at it. Blair didn't know what she thought about that. She knew she was probably supposed to be happy that someone had broken through the thick-coated ice wrapped around Chuck right now. Still, she didn't know what she thought. She was almost _upset_ that it had not been her to break through it, like last time.

"He's sleeping," a nurse told her as she passed Blair in the hall. Blair smiled politely and waited till the nurse turned the corner till she continued on with her task.

Her hand hovered over the door handle. Memories evaporated and the tide of fear rose within her. She was sweating. Her palms were damp, and she wondered if she should run for it. Maybe she wasn't ready. _Maybe it was too soon_. She could always come back tomorrow or the next day. It would be at least a few weeks before he could get let out after such a serious injury. She looked around the hallway. Everyone was gone. Probably in the cafeteria, or maybe they'd gone home to get some shuteye. It was after midnight after all, nearly two. She made a snap decision, knowing it was now or never. She'd never get this brave again, knowing she had failed the first time. She inhaled sharply, closed her fingers around the door handle, and turned it.

She walked through the door and closed it behind her as quietly as she could manage. It was eerily quiet and still in the room, she thought. It almost seemed to come out of a horror movie. She half expected to see Chuck sitting up in his bed with glowing eyes, killing her slowly with his stare. But nothing happened. She bent over a little to slip off her high heels and place them quietly on the floor a few feet from the door.

Incredibly slowly, she inched her way into the room. It was much bigger than most hospital rooms, she gathered, but she shouldn't be surprised. After taking in the large room, her eyes fell on the bed just right of the center of the room. Chuck was not sitting up; he was lying down. He was breathing evenly, not unnaturally heavy through machines. The night was quiet, and the moon shone through the cracks in the closed blinds dimly. The rays did not reach even the edge of Chuck's bed.

She was afraid to go near him, should he wake up. But she did look on from afar. She saw his tossled brown hair and longed to brush the locks out of his face. She wanted to see his eyes looking up at her with love and the desperate plea for a second chance. She didn't know how she would respond to it again. But she didn't know if she could refuse him like this. The desire to hold him in her arms made her ache. He was covered in thin blankets, but she knew beneath them like his wound, no doubt patched up with gauze and medical tape. Maybe he had scars or stitches. She didn't know much about medical procedures.

"Oh, _Chuck_," she breathed on a sigh, slumping down into the chair that sat directly across from him. She watched him for a long time, and then she fell asleep.

….

A/N: Hope you enjoyed. Please review. =)

*Oh, and I'm in serious dire need of the DS scene at the end of 2x07 for the DS vid I'm working on right now. If you know any way I can get it, please let me know. I've tried _everything_.

_Next Update (unless I'm inspired for WIL):_

_Hide Me from the Truth: Ch.2_


	6. Achieving Higher Ground

A/N: Logically, there is probably no good reason for me to be updating this so soon. I was going to update Flashback, and it's not because most people have abandoned that fic that I'm not updating it right this second. Also, in _this_ story, reviews have decreased dramatically. The only thing making me write it right now is that I'm inspired. Oh, and also the fact that the few reviews I have gotten have been incredibly detailed and enthusiastic. Hehe. I love that. Read on. Please review. =)

*I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.

…

**Ch.5—Achieving Higher Ground**

"What do you mean you _don't know_?" Chuck asked point-blank. Nate sighed somewhat testily, his patience wearing thin. He covered his eyes with his hand, hoping he was imagining this all. He contemplated the possibility of Chuck talking to him so openly when he'd hardly said a word to anyone but Eric these days, but he could not find it in himself to appreciate his best friend's accusations.

"It means I _don't know_," he said slowly.

Chuck glowered. "I told you I didn't want her coming here," he said, his voice dangerously low, his eyes dark.

"I didn't encourage her to come, Chuck, and I certainly wasn't here at two in the morning when you say she was supposedly here."

"She was," Chuck insisted, still clearly angry; both from Nate's denial and the fact that he'd seen Blair Waldorf sitting in a chair in his room early that morning when he'd risen to go to the bathroom. He was so in shock he almost complete forgot just how much his bladder needed to be emptied. By the time he got back from the bathroom, she was gone.

"Do you have any _proof_ of this?" Nate asked, seeking a way out. There was no way he was going to concede just to Chuck's _intuition_. It was very possible he'd had a hallucination, the way he refused social contact or even exiting the room.

"Yes," Chuck said, without a moment of hesitation.

"I was afraid of this," Nate mumbled to himself. "Okay." He focused back in on couch. "What supposed proof do you actually have?" He crossed his arms across his chest and waited somewhat patiently.

"The nurse on duty saw her coming into my room," he said. Nate looked at him doubtfully, though wondering if the transaction had actually taken place. It wasn't entirely unlikely, and Blair hadn't exactly decided against visiting Chuck yesterday when they'd last spoken. "I can have her come in and confirm the story," Chuck said, eager to throw Nate's convictions to the wind.

Nate sighed. "I'm sure she's not still here. It's almost noon." He knew it was a weak defense but he couldn't think of anything else.

Chuck blinked. "You don't really think that would be a problem for me, do you? Even for Lily. I'm sure she'd be more than willing to assist me in whatever way she thought she could."

Nate shook his head and walked over to the large window, blinds drawn aside. He looked out into the city. "Why is it such a problem for you, Chuck?" He turned back to him. "She didn't even come when you were awake. She didn't leave a note and she didn't try to talk to you. All she wanted to do was make sure you were okay."

Chuck was taken aback. Just like that Nate had accepted that Blair had been there. The proof wasn't right up front, but he no longer fought Chuck for what had actually happened. He didn't doubt that the nurse would probably admit to it, and it probably would be true. Now, Chuck was left speechless. He turned his head away from Nate and gazed at the chair he was sure Blair had occupied that morning. It'd looked like she'd slept there all night. _Why hadn't she been in a hotel? _His feelings on the matter were overwhelming. He knew Nate wouldn't understand. He wasn't even sure Eric would. The intensity of what he felt for Blair and all the complexities of their relationship seemed something solely dedicated to them, to him and Blair. Since he was the odd man out now, and probably forever, there was no one he could talk to.

"She's not supposed to want that."

Feeling curiously patient and concerned suddenly, Nate slowly walked towards Chuck and took a seat just a little ways away from the seat where his best friend was staring.

"Let her decide what she wants."

"Serena was here," Chuck said, abruptly changing the subject. He looked to Nate like it was the most normal thing in the world, a natural course of action. Nate was beyond frustrated, having just thought they'd made a break through, but he wasn't about to comment. This was the farthest he'd gotten with Chuck since their last conversation. Serena wasn't a topic he really wanted to approach, but if it kept Chuck talking, he would take the plunge.

"I know. I was there when she attacked us all for informing Blair what happened to you."

Chuck raised his eyebrows, not sure if he was genuinely amused or if it was just a façade to keep Nate from getting him to open up again. "Were you wounded?"

Nate relaxed in the chair. "I left right away."

"That bad?" he asked, now genuinely amused. Serena was a safer topic to talk on. Nate shook his head, and Chuck knew their roles had been reversed.

"I encountered her wrath via phone call right after Blair had left the hotel in Paris. Serena was going crazy and blaming all of us. Now that Blair had successfully made it here, I think she was prepared to slice all of us to bits."

"So, that's how she ended up in my room…" Chuck murmured. Nate raised his eyebrows. "Serena came in after what I'm guessing was a huge blowout in the hallway. It was not a much more promising situation in here, but…" he shrugged, "She was trying." He paused, mulling over what had happened with Serena the night before. "Have you seen her yet today?"

Nate shook his head. "No. Why?"

"You should talk to her," he advised.

"We're broken up," the blonde replied, as if it justified everything. Chuck rolled his eyes, and Nate could have sworn that for one brief moment, they were back in high school and Chuck was giving him the advice he always seemed to need.

"So, get unbroken up."

Nate's eyes darted to his. "Serena doesn't know what she wants."

Chuck raised his eyebrows. "And you should let her decide what she wants?"

Nate sighed, sensing the trap, but continued on anyways. "I'm not going to get caught up in the middle of some twisted love triangle between Serena, Dan, Carter and myself."

"My sister's not into Carter anymore. She has you to thank for that."

Nate shrugged and slouched into his chair. "She was the one who broke up with me."

"So, fight for her. You've wanted her for God knows how long. You're just going to give up because she's decided she needs to 'find herself'? We both know where she belongs, and it's with you."

Nate was on the brink of getting extremely aggravated, angry at the wounded man in the bed before him, when he realized he could turn the tables once again. "If I said the same for you, you wouldn't take your own advice."

Chuck's brows narrowed, his eyes darkened. "I betrayed Blair." The words hung in a deathly, thick silence. "More than once. I hurt her more than anyone else ever could. I did everything wrong." He paused, shifting his thoughts back to Nate and his dilemma with Serena. "You did nothing wrong."

…

"I want to thank-you for contacting me, Lily."

The older blonde woman smiled gently. "No trouble at all, dear. And don't be too hard on Serena." She put a hand on Blair's shoulder, which tensed almost immediately. "I know she meant well. She just doesn't want you to get hurt any more than you have been already."

Blair turned her head to look at Lily's concerned motherly face. She relaxed under Lily's hand, nearly all tension seeping out. "I know." She nodded. Silence ensued, but finally curiosity and amusement got the best of her. She'd passed several nurses, doctors, and even janitors in the hall – all of which had waved to Lily, greeting her almost like a close friend. She turned to Lily and raised her eyebrows.

"You make friends fast in such close quarters." She waved it off, laughing airily.

Blair pursed her lips in silent laughter. "And how long exactly have you been here?"

Lily turned her head to look at her and nearly blushed. It took the brunette by surprise. "About a day or so since we heard about Charles' accident." She nodded once, rummaging through her mind to make sure that she had the details correct. "I was either the first or second emergency contact on his list, not sure which." She shrugged as if she wasn't thrilled by that fact. Despite the fact that she'd formally adopted Chuck into her family, not all the details had been altered on certain specifics in Chuck's life. The possibility that Chuck had altered his emergency contact's list on purpose to figure Lily Bass into his emergency contacts warmed her spirit.

"It takes a little while to fly overseas after all," she continued, "despite the luxuries overflowing the Bass name." She chuckled. Blair smiled politely as Lily retold the series of events that had led to her coming and then to informing _her_ of Chuck's tragic predicament.

"I would have told you sooner, dear, but my daughter is relentless," she confided. Blair nodded in agreement. "Besides that though, I wasn't sure how you'd take it. Serena told me you had a terrible falling out with Chuck, even if she herself didn't know the details. She didn't want you to get hurt."

"I believe you mentioned that," Blair reminded her. Lily smiled.

"Ah, yes, I knew you were listening." Another silence ensued. Lily didn't really know what else to say to her. Blair was getting more fidgety by the second. She was still in the hospital where Chuck lie, albeit two floors beneath. She could not shake the eerie feeling crawling all over her. She'd be terrified to the core if Chuck found out she'd been there and was trying to track her down. Or, worse, take extra measures to keep her away. She was still all over the place with her emotions, but she didn't regret her actions. She just didn't know what to do next.

She had slept all night slouched over in that chair in front of Chuck's bed. She hadn't meant to fall at sleep, at least not for so long, but she had, and the only reason she got out of there as soon as she did was because she heard Chuck stirring in his bed. She hoped he hadn't seen her. She couldn't quite tell in the dark if his eyes were open or if his mind was still toying with the fact of getting up or not. Plus, her vision had been quite clouded; she was very drowsy from only having had a few hours of sleep. She knew it was the most absurd excuse in the world, but she had convinced herself that obviously Chuck hadn't seen her as he walked to the private bathroom in his room. When the door to it was sufficiently shut, she gathered herself together and snuck out the door. She had been halfway down the hallway when she bumped into Lily. The two had been together ever since.

She hadn't told Lily much about how she'd ended up in the hospital. She'd said she went to check in on Chuck but he was asleep. Lily had assured her he would be happy to see her later when he was more awake and prepared for visitors. Blair knew that was hardly the case, but let herself dream a little with Lily's over the top positivity. She was grateful for the woman's encouraging words, because, even if they weren't true, there needed to be someone who at least _looked_ like they believed anything was possible because of love, and that hope meant everything would be 100% okay. _"We're here for him. I'm sure he'll be better soon, released in no time and on a plane back to New York with all of us,"_ she'd said with full conviction. Blair sighed at the notion. She wished she could believe those fairytales again.

The hair on the nape of her neck lifted ever so slightly, alerting her to a familiar presence in the hall. At first she thought it was just Lily attempting to talk casual or maybe discussing the situation in a less awkward or painful way, but it wasn't.

"Serena," the older blonde said, clearly surprised. Blair stopped walking and looked dead on at her best friend, the one she'd ditched after she'd found out about her treacherous betrayal. The look she was going for was venomous, but she was still stuck in a state of shock. The fact that she was unprepared for the confrontation didn't sit well with her either, but it was better than what probably would have been a frozen experience with Chuck that morning, had she been still in that chair when he'd walked out of the bathroom.

Lily had excused herself before Blair could get out of her state of shock. She clearly recovered from shock much quicker than most. Then again, she hadn't been dramatically hurt any time recently. She dismissed the whole situation with her ex-husband's attempt to get back into the family.

Blair took one look at Serena and kept walking, shooting her best friend a death glare from the side slits of her eyes. Serena cringed but told herself not to take it personally. She followed Blair until she stopped walking, repeating her name endlessly to get her attention.

"I forgive you," Blair suddenly turned around, her eyes wider than Serena had expected, granted she hadn't been expected to be forgiven so soon.

"_What_?" she asked, in disbelief. Blair sighed.

"I've been through a lot in the last 24 hours and am beyond confused, but one thing I am 100% certain on is that you were just trying to protect me from getting hurt again." She nodded, proud of herself for getting it all out. "But," She reached her hand forward to grasp Serena's. Serena took it gratefully, clutching tightly at her best friend's fingers. "In the future, I would appreciate if all things Chuck be told to me, no matter how hurtful."

Serena gave her a considering look and then nodded once. "I promise."

Blair slung an arm through her best friend's and continued to walk down the hall. "If that's what you really want," Serena murmured. Blair gave her a bit of an annoyed look, but they laughed it off.

"So, how's the food here?" she mused.

Blair cracked a smile. "No comment."

….

A/N: Review. =)


	7. Harder to Breathe

A/N: Review. =)

*I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.

…

**Ch.6—Harder to Breathe**

It was only early afternoon, and Chuck was unbelievably restless. On most days he could spend the whole day in his hospital bed. He'd never really had any great desire to get up and move around. He couldn't do much after all. He was still a little weak, and his side ached with a fury that medication did not always soothe. The tubes had been removed for a time, but he could almost sense that the doctors were going to pin them onto him again. He could see the anxious look in their eyes. It was probably only American doctors who had to pull off the _calm_ look, he decided.

But the look in the doctor's eyes was not by any means the reason for his restlessness. He was _anxious_ to see _Blair_. He didn't care that Nate doubted her presence. He'd bet anything his best friend was just trying to put off a sullen or raging Chuck. He knew she'd been there. He knew she was nearby. She would not leave after Serena had even visited him. He was very desperate to see her now. Knowing she had been there, glimpsing her in the dim light of the room earlier that morning had sent his heart thrumming a powerful tune. He thought he'd explode. The idea that he might start singing was ridiculous, but he honestly thought he'd never see her again. At the very least, she wouldn't see him willingly.

He wanted her gone. He knew he did. It was for her own good. It was for his own. All of them would be better off if he recouped without her and then attempted to function again. He was sure he could do it, and well before the end of the summer. He just didn't think he could do it with her there. Then again, maybe it would be a sort of punishment, being reminded of what he'd done every time he glimpsed her in the hallway. A shudder snapped through him at the thought that she was never coming back. It was as if everything he had been insisting on when she wasn't there had completely burned to a crisp when he had seen her. His heart had throbbed for her. He wanted to hold her and kiss her and make love to her, and somehow be forgiven in the process. He wanted her not to hurt. That was the core of it all, and because he held that belief so strongly, he forced himself back into the mindset of not wanting her there. It was only truly convincing to outsiders.

_Charles_. Somewhere in the back of his mind he heard someone calling his name, but he decided to ignore it. He was very sure thinking about Blair was much more important. He sighed audibly, not realizing it. Just remembering her and them drew him back to a simpler, easier time. They had been so in love. He was still so in love. Pain ripped through him when he remembered how the engagement ring he'd spent hours trying to decide on had been taken away in an instant, in a mugging, before Blair had even been allowed to see it.

_Charles_. There it was again. He groaned inwardly and decided to focus on his surroundings. He realized rather quickly that there were several people trying to get his attention – his doctor (probably someone important), Lily, Nate, and Eric. He forced a curt smile.

"What is it?"

Lily was making an effort to look cheery. Nate looked at him in disbelief. Eric concealed chuckling within the extent of a smirk. The doctor was probably bothered by his inattentiveness, but no doubt was blaming it on very belated effects from the gunshot wounds – so he wouldn't get irritated.

"You're going to stay here a little while longer, Charles," Lily informed him. He looked to her in confusion.

"What are you talking about? I've been here over a week. It was just a flesh wound. I'm in a little pain from time to time, but I'm pretty much healed over, aren't I?" He peeled back the thin sheets covering him and moved his hospital gown just enough to see where the gaping hole had been covered. It didn't look any different. There wasn't any new blood seeping through. He looked up at the doctor.

"Is it infected?" he asked, for the first time sounding a little concerned over his own predicament. Nate found it odd, but didn't say anything. He didn't understand the knowing look Eric gave him.

The doctor shared a look with Lily and then brought his attention back to Chuck. "No, son, it's not infected. We're just taking some extra precautions."

Chuck looked at him suspiciously. They were hiding something and he knew it, something that might cause him to get stressed out. It was clear neither Eric nor Nate knew what was going on. Their faces looked almost expressionless. Chuck would have been able to see if they knew something he didn't. And if they didn't know anything, he knew without a second thought that Blair and Serena were clueless as well.

"There's something you're not telling me," he informed the doctor who only smiled at him in return. Lily looked a bit nervous, trying too hard to maintain that smile on her face. Chuck knew just by looking at her that she was the only person in the room who the doctor had told his secrets to.

"It's just for observation purposes," Lily told him, placing her hand where it lay on the side of the hospital bed. "You'll be in here in another week tops, and then you can go back to New York."

There was a thick silence, tension like he'd never known. He could see it in the way Lily straightened slowly after looking so very motherly into her eyes. She turned to the doctor with wary confidence.

"Right?" she asked calmly, trying and failing to keep her voice low enough to pass as a whisper. The doctor seemed hesitant to respond, but the indecision only lasted a second. A confident smile slipped onto his face.

"Exactly, Mrs. Humphrey."

Her eyes sparkled. She turned back to look at Chuck. The doctor looked at him too before lightly brushing Lily's shoulder and telling her softly that someone would be coming around to check on him. She thanked him quietly. The unease that had felt so palpable a moment ago seemed to evaporate once the doctor had left the room. Chuck could not relax, but he managed to look okay until everyone had left, which unfortunately had happened until after the first nurse visit. Eric even lingered after that. When all need to look confident and nonchalant dissipated, he sank into his pillows and mulled over the situation, his anxious thoughts piling on like heavy rain on an overgrown field. _Something was wrong with him_. Now Blair _had_ to leave.

His fingers clenched into the sheet on both sides of the bed. He swore sweat was forming on his forehead. _Why did his vulnerability have to slip in now? _He didn't want her to leave.

…

Nate sighed, exhausted.

"I want you to get her out of here, _now_; both of them if you can."

The blonde groaned, running a hand over his face. He was slouched over in one of the chairs by the window – the blinds were closed; it was 5:00. The particular demand Chuck was making was not a new one. It had not been a new one today, or any time since he had woken up from his accident. Today was just worse than most days because he knew he didn't mean it. There was no point in informing his best friend of that again though. He had only proceeded to tell him what an awful person he was, and how he didn't deserve Blair's presence.

"_She's not even in the hospital right now_," he'd said. Chuck had responded with a cold glare. Nate did not miss the brief hurt panicked look that came before it. All of which had taken place in two seconds, and two hours ago. Chuck's speeches had gotten longer and more intense, more dramatic, angrier. It was a smoke screen and Nate knew it. He had always wondered what Chuck smoke screens looked like when there were no whores or alcoholic beverages around. He wished now that he hadn't.

"Would you like some water?" A little blonde angel of a nurse poked her head in the doorway. Nate was relieved.

"Thank God," he muttered under his breath. He raised his hand in a subtle gesture to get her attention. "Yes, I'll have some."

The girl looked startled, but Nate honestly didn't care that she'd only been asking Chuck. When the brunette boy in his bed said nothing, his mouth half opened to continue his rant after she'd left. Nate was amused, and dutifully turned his head back to Chuck, focusing on him in delight as the girl delivered his water. The door closed shortly after.

"You were saying?"

"You're dating Serena," Chuck said, his voice dangerously closed. Nate looked at him strangely and set his cup down in between the vertical blinds on the window sill.

"Was – past tense."

Chuck's expression did not change. Nate folded his hands in his lap and looked at him directly. "Look, Chuck, you were convincing before she got here, I'll admit. But, it's obvious, now that she's come you want to see her. If you want, I can talk to Lily about encouraging Blair to come in to see you."

Chuck's jaw dropped, aghast at what Nate was saying. "No," he said in disbelief. It seemed the craziest solution in the world, even though every part of him but the logical side of his nature was pressing him to accepts Nate's offer. "I told you I don't deserve her. All we do is hurt each other, and I am definitely the worse of the two of us. In fact, I bet if she didn't know me she wouldn't hurt anybody at all. She was perfectly fine when—" he paused, not sure if his mentality would make sense, "Well, if you hadn't—"

Nate rolled his eyes. "Forget it, man. Blair's always been happiest with you." He stood to his face, looking like he was heading for the door. Chuck's eyes widened in panic.

"Nate," he said desperately, his hands clutching at the sheets at if that would stop the blonde's feet from moving. It seemed to work. Nate stopped walking and turned to look at his best friend, analyzing him from head to toe.

"I don't know about the inter-dynamics of your relationship as a _couple_…" he trailed off, pausing as he thought of how happy Blair and Chuck had been together, and then how hurt and broken Blair had been when she'd confessed what Chuck had nearly done regarding Jack and his hotel. His eyes darkened.

"You're thinking about it," Chuck said, seeing how his face changed. It was an edge he could work with, and it got him a little excited. Nate turned to look at him, his face now expressionless.

"About what?" he asked.

"You're thinking about all the times I've messed up. You remember how broken and hurt Blair looked when she confided in you about what I'd done to her in trading her in for the Empire, don't you? You wouldn't want her to be hurt like that again, would you?"

Nate tensed, suddenly unsure of what he really wanted in regards to the interactions of Chuck and Blair. Chuck was right. Blair had been so broken, and he had been pissed. It had taken a lot of time and effort for him to even go out to have a drink with him. He had only been so lucky as to have more holding them together than their history and affections for Blair Waldorf.

"You know the answer to that, Chuck," he said, his eyes dark, demeanor resigned. Chuck nodded, shivering chills of hurt rushing through him. He didn't want her to leave. Didn't want her to leave. Wanted Nate to leave _right now_ so that he could prevent himself from crying in private. He wanted her. _God, how bad he wanted her_. He pursed his lips, and tried to remain calm, to conceal the emotions flooding through him at a terrifying speed.

"I am asking you," he began slowly, determined to make his point and to get him to follow his command, "as my best friend, to do this."

Nate looked at him, trying to keep up a steady gaze.

"Make Blair _leave_," he said in a whisper.

He looked at his friend as he lay on the bed, fierce determination on his face. He saw the anger, the hurt, and he had no idea what to do with it. After a few lingering moments just trying to find something, he shook his head, wrapped his hand around the back of his neck in exhaustion, and headed out the door, closing it behind him.

He remembered the pain on Chuck's face. He felt how badly he wanted Blair, and he wondered if letting her anywhere near the hospital had been such a great idea. Maybe Chuck was right. Maybe, no matter the feelings between them, it would be best for everybody to keep the two brunettes apart until at least Blair had healed over, to an extent. His heart still burned for what Blair had told him a week after Chuck's depression had set in once he'd reclaimed his hotel. He just wished he could talk to someone about all of this. Only a superhuman could handle having the fates of Chuck Bass and Blair Waldorf on their shoulders.

Light laughter and murmurs broke into his thoughts. He looked up and saw Serena and Blair chatting away at the end of the hallway. He stilled and looked at them as if in a daze. All precautions of involvement with them disappeared, as if they had never existed. He knew immediately when they became aware of his presence, or at least a presence. They halted, and turned their faces away from each other to look at them. Gentle shock took over the giddy happiness that had been there a moment earlier.

"Nate," Serena said, her shock slipping through her lips as her emotions often did. Nate's eyes focused in on Blair after briefly flicking to Serena.

"Blair," he began, well aware of how uncertain and weak and helpless he sounded. There was no doubt that Blair could sense it. She looked up at him expectantly though as if just in curiosity, not showing any sign of it. Her eyebrows rose just a little. "I need to talk to you."

…

A/N: Wow. Hope you enjoyed. I really _really_ want to finish this fic before the new season starts, just because I know it's obviously not going to go down like this on the show, and I don't want to lose inspiration or readers when it doesn't. Heh. Anyways, review. I doubt the whole story will be finished up by the time season 4 starts, but I'm going to try my best to make it happen! =D


	8. Horribly Unconvincing

A/N: It's been SO long, I know. I'm sorry. But I've smooshed 4 of my chapters into 2 – meaning more scenes – in order to get the plot moving along faster. The knowledge that it'll take longer to write a chapter tends to give me less motivation. XD But here I am finally doing it. Heh. Anyways, read and review please! Love ya! =D

*I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.

…

**Ch.7—Horribly Unconvincing**

"What is it, Nate?" Blair asked, immediately jumping to the worst conclusions. "Has something happened with Chuck?" He kept walking until they'd come to an empty patient's room. He looked around once to make sure there was no one in sight that would scold them and shoo them out for being someplace they were not allowed to be. Serena followed after them warily. Once they were safely inside the room, Nate closed the door behind him. Blair's _Hey, Archibald!_ and snapping fingers finally drew him to attention.

He took a deep breath and his eyes flitted over to Serena's. "Can we have a second?" he asked. Serena looked taken aback and folded her arms across her chest. Blair looked back and forth between the two blondes unable to make a connection.

"Why?" she asked slowly, her eyebrows narrowed.

"Yeah, why?" Blair asked, daring him to give a good explanation. He sighed loudly and closed his eyes. When he opened them, both girls were still standing in front of him with wide eyes and skeptical glances. He muttered something indistinguishable and stepped towards them.

"Because yes, it _does_ have to do with Chuck," he said to Serena forcefully. Her eyes softened. Then, he turned to Blair. "He wanted me to tell you something."

"Well, I think I can hear it too," Serena said suddenly, determined to edge herself into the conversation. She had made a big mistake with keeping Blair away from Chuck – despite what her reasons might have been, and she was eager to make up for it. But Blair looked over at her with a warning, watery gaze.

"S..."

Serena looked hurt for a moment before nodding once, understanding lighting her face. "Okay," she said quietly. She looked once more at the two of them, her gaze lingering on Nate's, and then left the room. She shut the door softly behind her.

Blair took a step towards him and looked at him very intently, almost as if she was trying to find the answers in his eyes before he told her. The slight paling of his face gave her a strong hint as to what his message might be.

"You should go back," he said much too positively. She looked at him strangely and parted her lips to say something. He continued before she could. "Everything's fine with Chuck. He'll be out of the hospital probably within the week, and, considering what just happened between the two of you, it's probably best if you enjoy the rest of the summer with Serena in Paris." Her mouth opened further to say something. "Don't worry, I'll look out for him." He smiled, looking far too proud of himself. Clearly he had not gotten the hint that Blair's skeptical gaze gave him – she wasn't buying this at all.

"_Nate_."

He looked at her expectantly.

"You're a horrible liar."

He sighed loudly and looked to be mentally scolding himself for not being convincing enough. "You have to leave, Blair," he said earnestly. "Chuck _wants_ you to leave." He was almost begging and she tensed immediately. _It was because she hadn't confronted him yet_, she cursed herself. She hadn't gotten up the courage, couldn't do it after how he'd hurt her. _She just needed time!_ Her insides screamed at her, but that was not what was needed to justify his desire to make her leave.

She swallowed hard. "W-Why are you telling me this?" Her eyes glittered up with his, suddenly filled with tears. He forced himself to concentrate. Tears of any sort always got to him. Chuck's words flooded through his mind. Images of Blair crying over what Chuck had done to her gave him more strength. The vague plea in the back of his mind that giving into Chuck's insistence was a bad idea faded the more intensely he turned Blair's current tears into the ones he'd seen before, in her room after the hotel incident.

_"You deserve to be alone."_

Maybe he did.

A shaky sigh escaped him. "Because it's the truth," he said. "He's been saying it since the moment your name was brought up when he was admitted to the hospital. We were all worried for him and thought it might be a good idea for you to come. We had our doubts, but…"

"No," she said, suddenly cutting him off from his speech. He clearly had not thought it out, but she would address that issue later. Tease him no doubt. When all of this was over and she was happy again, when Chuck was safe. She shook the thought from her mind.

"What?" he asked, confusion and shock seeming to team up at the same time.

"No, I'm not leaving."

He took a deep breath and placed his hands on her shoulders. He looked deep into her eyes and focused, forced himself to focus. "Blair, you still need to heal. I thought it might be good for him for you to stay around, and I admit, it's had its bonuses. He certainly has been starting to let his guard down, his denial is wearing thin. He's almost transparent."

"Nate…" She shook her head in confusion. _If her presence was having a good effect on Chuck than how in the world could it be a good decision for her to leave?_

"I'm asking you to leave for you," he said softly. He framed her face with his hands. "He's hurt you so much." She said nothing, conceding to the fact. "I know you want to be here for him, because despite everything he's done to you, you still care for him. But, you've done your duty. You've come, and he knows it. He knows you came to see him and that alone has caused some healing in his mental state. He's reluctant to show his emotions, but they are much more easily seen now. You've done your job." He eased his hands on her face and tucked a curl behind her ear. "Go heal."

"Nate—" Now she seemed angry, but he didn't notice. He was determined to get his message across and for her to realize he was in the right. The more he spoke the easier it was for him to believe what he was saying. He had to act as if it _wasn't_ a half-hearted conviction on his part.

She pushed his hands off her face. Her eyes narrowed. "You think you're trying to protect me, Nate?" She huffed in disbelief. "Serena tried that, and look what good it did. If I helped Chuck just by him noticing that I slept in his room – which is obviously what you expected to assume" He cringed at the fact that he had not brought her up to date. "Just imagine what would happen if I actually faced him." Her expression showed a glimmer of hope.

"Blair—" He shook his head, like all the fear he had over everything involving Chuck's current situation had intensified by the millions. "No."

"Yes." She took a step back from him. "I was scared before, but I'm not waiting. Not when I know I'm actually helping him."

"Blair," he reached for her, his face crying out in desperation. "He'll hurt you again. I know he will." Chuck's words of past woes flashed through his mind again.

"Then, he hurts me," she said, determined to no longer back down. Nate's eyes widened, unable to comprehend how she could do this to herself, how she could go in when there was so much at risk just because she still loved him. He wondered if she still wounded him. A very significant part of his mind told him he was an idiot for thinking otherwise. He could not find words to describe his raging emotions. Unwillingly, Blair's undying love for his best friend forced itself upon him. Images of them happy, in love, and fighting for each other to the death refused to leave him alone. They overpowered his intense desire to save Blair from any more pain.

She had left the room though before he could say another word. And he was left standing there, wondering if he should have been more persistent. Reflecting back on the scene, he thought there was no possible way he could have been more persistent to get her to leave. Then, he felt hypocritical. He wasn't even sure what he thought anymore. Maybe he wanted to see if Blair leaving was for the best. From the very beginning he hadn't really let Chuck's insistence on the matter get to him. Blair finally arriving shouldn't have changed that. The determination in her face informed him that nothing had changed. Well, besides the fact that he'd unwittingly convinced her to confront Chuck. He'd given her hope, and he didn't know anymore if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

_Damn it._

….

She didn't like the fact that it'd taken her so long to get to his room, but she had no one to blame but herself. There had really been no one in the halls. No one of the people she knew had tried to prevent her from going to him, not even Nate. Lily was with Rufus in the cafeteria. She didn't know where Eric was, but the uneasy nauseous feeling that he was with Chuck slowed her steps even further. In all reality, it had only taken her fifteen minutes to get to the end of the hallway, but it'd felt like an eternity.

She gasped when the door opened, terrified that it might be Chuck, that they might finally make eye contact. She was afraid of what he could do with just a look. He could break her so easily or make her forgive him in an instant by expressing their epic, endless love. Her eyes closed as tears blurred her vision.

"Blair?"

She opened her eyes to see Eric now standing directly outside of Chuck's room. She turned her head to see the number on the room and realized that she was correct in her assumptions.

"Is he—?"

Eric nodded. "Yeah, he's about to go to sleep."

Her eyebrows furrowed, bewildered. "_Sleep_?" she asked, aghast. He chuckled lightly.

"I prefer the term brood, but since he's the one in the hospital bed, I let him make the decision." She smiled warily and avoided his gaze.

"Right," she muttered under her breath. She was horrified to see that her hand was actually shaking. She could feel Eric's eyes on her, seeing her shaky hand as well. She grabbed hold of her arm in what she hoped was a casual movement and stuck it behind her back.

"You should go see him, Blair," he said softly. Her eyes gradually found his again. She wanted to refuse but the fact that she'd come over to do exactly what the little Van der Woodsen had just suggested kept her mouth shut.

A moment later she felt his warm hand on her arm and then sliding off as he moved past her. She knew then that she'd forgotten he was there, and was staring very uncertainly at the door handle leading to Chuck's room. She tried to shake off the fact that he was hurt and she needed to be there for him, just as someone who'd known him his whole life, who knew what he was going through. Well, she sort of knew what he was going through, since they were similar in how they thought. But, she hadn't betrayed him, and she hadn't been injured so severely. She wondered if she could use that as a good excuse. She sighed, refusing to let Nate be right. She took a deep breath, reached forward and turned the handle on the door. It opened on a quiet creak and she froze, hoping he hadn't heard her. There was no way he could have fallen asleep sometime during the last five minutes she'd been talking to Eric, if she could really call that a conversation.

"Nate?"

A chill zipped up her spine at the sound of his voice. Up until now, all she'd heard was his deep breathing. She swallowed hard and closed the door softly behind her, hoping he hadn't heard her and that he didn't noticed how the sliver of light on the floor had reappeared and disappeared where she stood. She held her breath so he wouldn't hear her. An extra precaution, but she felt the need to take it. She was too nervous and still shaking. It was almost impossible to focus on the task at hand, confronting Chuck.

She could almost feel him tensing in bed. She glanced at the curtains drawn over the window and realized for the first time that it was hardly past supper time. She hadn't eaten yet. She knew now that she wouldn't. She'd end up sleeping in Chuck's room again. If she didn't take that risk and talk to him now then she knew it wouldn't happen – at least not tonight. Would the rest of them wonder what happened to her? She knew the answer was no. One glance from Eric would answer all their questions. She held back a sigh at that realization.

"Serena?"

Her eyes widened. She was suddenly very grateful for the little dark hallway just before the largest part of the room. She was invisible to him, even more so because he'd managed to make it pitch black in the room at 5:30 p.m. She held her breath, hoping he'd stop trying to determine the name of a possible individual in the doorway and relax in his bed. Then, she could settle onto the same chair she'd made an attempt to be comfortable in before and…_fall asleep_.

She held back another sigh. _She'd known she wouldn't have the guts to speak to him tonight_, she scolded herself. Despite how sure and spunky she'd sounded when she told Nate off almost all of that energy dissolved when she'd run into Eric. She couldn't blame him for that though. He was like a kid-brother to her and if it hadn't happened outside the room, it would have happened inside, and that would not have been pretty. It would force a conversation with Chuck, which she was pretty sure she wanted, but it wouldn't be well planned out and she'd crumble. Maybe Nate was right. Maybe, now that she knew that Chuck was alright, she should go back to Paris with Serena. Chuck was healing. There was no extreme need for the two of them to be in each other's vicinity.

"Great, Basshole, now you're hearing things," he muttered. She smirked to herself, realizing in that instant that she wouldn't be leaving the room. She'd called him by that name several times during both their serious and trivial fights. But she'd never heard him call himself then, even when she'd heard him singing in the shower and sworn Nate and Serena to secrecy – which, miraculously, they'd kept to themselves.

She fell into the chair slowly crossed her legs over each other at the knees. She didn't make a comment, didn't dare make a peep, but that didn't mean she wasn't enjoying herself as her _ex_ continued to talk out loud to himself for the next ten minutes. She could almost let herself believe everything was fine to him and he was talking in his sleep…while she lay next to him in bed. _Almost_.

…

"I called for the _nurse_."

Eric's eyebrows rose in amusement. He leaned further back in his chair. "And I got here first."

Chuck scoffed. Eric put a finger to his lips, reminding his step-brother not to wake the brunette.

"Mindy was busy."

"You're on a first name basis now? Aren't you _gay_?"

Eric smiled. He decided not to inform his step-brother on the different "rules" of the gay community. Chuck was not in the best state of mind. If he was not wrong, Eric would even go so far as to say he was panicking. He glanced over at the sleeping Blair Waldorf in a chair not more than three feet away.

"What did you call the nurse for?" he asked instead. Chuck's eyes briefly narrowed, but then the irritation slipped into skepticism faster than Eric had expected.

"Isn't it obvious?" he said slowly.

"Enlighten me." Eric folded his hands in his lap. Chuck gestured to Blair. The boy's brows narrowed as if he was terribly confused. Chuck sighed loudly. Eric could not help but smile.

"Obviously I was going to ask the _nurse_ to dispose of her," he said, his teeth grinding against each other. Eric was extremely humored by his step-brother's behavior and less than convincing arguments.

"_Dispose_ of her?" he asked, a brow rising to near the top of his head. Chuck rolled his eyes.

"You know what I mean, get her to leave."

"You do realize" Eric leaned forward in his seat, placing the pressure of his arms on his thighs. "They would have had to wake her up in the room in order to get her out. The two of you would have _had_ to talk." Chuck's face froze as if he was terrified by the thought. The possibility that he had not even considered how inevitable that confrontation would have been also delighted Eric. He smiled cheerily and leaned back in his chair. Chuck was considerably less miserable about Blair being around now since she had come. Or, if he wasn't, he was far less convincing.

"I hadn't thought of that," he made out. Eric smirked.

"Admitting defeat so soon?" he asked innocently. It looked like Chuck was about to respond with a scoff or some sort of half-thought out remark, but nothing came to his lips. He opened his mouth once more and then firmly snapped his full lips back together. His head fell back into the fluffed pillow nestled securely behind him.

After what seemed like ages, Eric stood up and moved to the other side of the room. Chuck noticed he was incredibly close to the drapes. His eyes widened in panic mode.

"What are you doing?" he asked in a whispered tone. Eric turned to look at him over his shoulder. He teased Chuck by reaching forward slowly to the long string used to pull aside the curtains.

"It's pitch-black out by now, Chuck. You slept for a long time."

Chuck's eyes darted from Eric to the window to Blair's sleeping form. He got chills when he looked at Blair, like gazing at her form for too long would cause his eyes to burn. He blinked a few times and looked back at Eric standing at the window.

"The moonlight could wake her," he said earnestly. Eric's face softened. Chuck's argument was weak, but the genuine sincerity and worry in his face had nothing to do with the fact that he'd have to talk with Blair about everything between them, or at least about the accident. It had everything to do with him not wanting to wake her, because she was asleep and he wanted her to get her rest. And he liked having her there, in the same room, even if he wouldn't admit it out loud.

Eric moved back to his chair and sat down. "She'd sleep more comfortably in her own bed," he told him, hoping it wouldn't break him out of the sweet sensitivity he'd fallen into. He was only testing him, challenging him. Chuck pulled one of the pillows out from behind his head and held it out to Eric wordlessly. Eric stood up, took the pillow and very discreetly tucked the pillow beneath Blair's head where her shoulder and forehead met the wall. For a moment her head leaned against his hand before he pulled the pillow out more so she could lean her face on the softest part. Something clenched deep inside Chuck. He wanted to be there suddenly, right where Eric was, feeling Blair's exquisitely soft skin against his hand. She would be close enough to kiss, to hold, and there wouldn't have to be any questions asked, because she would be asleep. He blinked away the aching thoughts when Eric turned back to him and settled his arms on the arms of the chair.

It was silent for awhile. Eric just watched him. "You need to talk to her, you know, about everything. You can't let it fester as long as she's here, and you know she's not going to leave anytime soon," he assured him, both giving orders and encouragement simultaneously. Chuck wondered how he could do that.

Eric waited for his step-brother to sigh or grumble or deny the need to speak with Blair again, but he did none of those things. He just avoided contact for awhile, keeping completely silent. Eric did not push him.

"I'll talk to her," Chuck finally said. Relief washed over him. He was about to express his gratitude – for _all_ of them – but Chuck spoke again. It took away all his happiness. "But I don't have to make things easy."

"Chuck," he began, "being cold to Blair isn't the way to go," he said very forcefully. The brunette's eyes met his.

"She already hates me for what I did to her, Eric. That hatred has only been dimmed because I was injured and she found out about it, belatedly. From what you've told me, it seems even the knowledge that I haven't gotten any worse and am actually healing is not enough to make her leave. Acting indifferent or even as if what I'd done was _her_ fault would certainly do the trick."

Eric stared at him as if he'd lost his mind. _Where had the genuine, sensitive, clawing need for Blair Waldorf Chuck go? He'd been there only a minute ago, hadn't he?_

"I could even tell her I'd never loved her." He shrugged. Eric thought he was going to lose his mind at the neutral tone in which Chuck spoke in.

"_Chuck_."

The brunette looked at him as if nothing was wrong, as if this was nothing out of the ordinary. Eric's expression was that of a hurt little boy. From what he could see, it did nothing to his step-brother's sudden convictions. It seemed of a desperate nature that Eric needed to get Blair out of the room as soon as possible, lest Chuck hurt her again.

…

The park was beautiful, fresh, filled with life. The city was alive, filled with people, dazzling products just calling their names. It was like they were back in Paris just enjoying a day out on the town in a place that wasn't too familiar, that was just exotic, a paradise that was only theirs for the taking and they had claimed it greedily. But Serena wasn't filled. Blair was far too cheerful, buying too much at once, talking too fast and she hadn't mentioned Chuck _once_. She'd been unable to get a word out of Nate. He actually appeared to be trying to stay away from her as much as humanly possible. It could have been her imagination but she swore he'd been at the hospital less and less since she'd arrived, with Blair in tow. She forced herself not to let that little fact bother her. Her best friend was living in denial once again, and she had to bring her out of it, once again.

"B," she began. Blair put up a hand for her to pause until she'd finally claimed her latest purchase – a fluttering summer dress and dangling earrings to match. She smiled brightly at her best friend as they continued to walk down the street. "Beautiful," she said.

"Yes, I know," the brunette said airily, tossing her hand in the air for her to continue. "You were saying something?"

Serena's eyes widened in briefly at her blasé attitude, but it was typical Blair Waldorf behavior so it was ignored in an instant. "B, what happened…?"

"What are you talking about?" she asked, without turning to look at her at all. "I just bought a stunning dress. Would you like to see it?" She sounded very excited suddenly, finally turning to her best friend, her eyes aglow. It did not take a scientist to see that her smile did not exactly meet her eyes.

"I've seen it." Blair frowned. "What I'm referring to is what you did after you talked with Nate? Did he say something about Chuck? Did you go to see him?"

Blair sighed, far too lightly again. "Oh, no, no, it was nothing about Chuck. It was about…"

Serena stopped them. Blair could not make eye contact. She was about to demand an answer from her when one popped out of her mouth, laced with desperation. "It was about you, S. He misses you." She smiled. Serena looked to be convinced for a moment.

"Really?" she asked, sounding sincere, almost like she'd reconsidered breaking up with him to begin with. She smiled a little.

"Totally," Blair said, touching her arm sincerely. "You should totally hook back up."

Serena looked at her as realization dawned, not that it had really been that far off. A conversation as serious as her break-up with Nate, or any break-up in general that did not include Dan – though even that sometimes got the benefit of a serious nature from Blair Waldorf – did not get such a casual attitude. It was something to be thought of, talked about in a serious, contemplating, heartfelt moment. It was usually shared on one of their beds or some comfortable chairs or couches they happened to find, usually that they owned. These were minor details, Serena assured herself, but details that had been constant nonetheless.

"B."

"Mmm?" She appeared to be admiring the grand landscape around them. Serena's tender hand on her arm seemed to zap electricity through her. She jumped, and in that heartbeat her eyes met her best friend's and her façade fell to pieces at her feet.

"I went to see him," she said. "Nate told me not to. He told me Chuck was very serious about wanting me to leave, and that he was now too." Serena's lips pursed. "Well," Blair searched her memory for the exact conversation they'd shared. "I think he was unsure. Something Chuck said must have gotten to him though." She shrugged. "I can't think of anything else that would have changed it. He's been pretty steadfast from what I've heard, mostly from Eric." She chuckled lightly. Serena smiled a little at the mention of her brother.

"Did anything…happen?" Serena asked tentatively. Blair shook her head.

"No, I…I was just scared." She looked up to her friend and away from her fidgeting hands. Serena nodded in understanding. "I went in as quietly as I could so he wouldn't hear me. Then, I fell asleep on the chair, just like before." She sighed, putting her head in her hands. She huffed at herself. Serena rubbed her hand soothingly along her back. "I don't know why it's so hard, I just…"

She was close to sniffling now and Serena pulled her to her, tucking her head into the crook of her neck. "Shh, it's okay. He hurt you. It's understandable." Blair sighed, tears evident in her voice.

"When I woke up, Eric was by the window, basking the sun." She laughed, trying to bring some comedic relief to the situation. Serena smiled softly. "Chuck must've been in the bathroom, because he wasn't in his bed. I didn't ask Eric anything though. I just picked up my purse, brushed the wrinkles out of my skirt and left. That's when I called."

She nodded, pulling her friend closer. "You don't have to see him, you know? He's okay. We can go back to Paris." She told her, feeling a little guilty for wanting her to finally agree to the offer. "I'm sure Harold and Roman wouldn't mind seeing you again."

Serena knew even before the words were out of her mouth that Blair would not agree, just like before. She was scared to see Chuck, to actually have a conversation with him after what had happened. She didn't know how to act, because she was so very angry and brokenhearted over how he'd betrayed her. But she still was so very in love with him and didn't want to leave his side because of it, especially when he was hurt, even if he _was_ on the road to recovery, regardless of the circumstances. When she didn't get so much as a giggle out of her from the mention of visits with Harold and Roman, she resigned herself to the inevitable.

"You can try again tomorrow."

Blair nodded once slowly and then lifted her head, brushing away tears she was no doubt angry that had evolved and fallen from her eyes. Serena wiped away the remaining ones that she did not manage to catch. She intertwined her fingers with her best friend's and they started walking again down the long pebbled block of shops. She had a feeling more shopping would help. It was always an excellent distraction. She'd make sure they'd buy lots of chocolate, and maybe she'd manage to get her in an actual bed that night.

….

A/N: Hope I still have some reviewers out there. Heh. I'll try to update sooner next time. =) CB will FINALLY interact next chapter. Promise. ;)


	9. A Little Ironic

A/N: Oh, I know you've been waiting for this forever, lol, and I really hope it grants me more reviewers. XD haha. Last chapter was not too promising. Lol. Anyways, yes, as promised, CB will interact this chapter – in two scenes actually. Heheh. Please review. It'll be extra long. You're welcome. Lol.

*I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.

…

**Ch.8—A Little Ironic**

"She's done this every night for the past week." Eric sighed, slouching back further in his chair.

Serena did not turn to look at him. Her eyes were glued to the floor. Eric glanced at the cracked open door across the hall. He could hear Blair's steady breathing. The otherwise silent room told him that Chuck was watching her. A heaviness settled over him that he could not explain, but he knew that with certainty. He turned his head back to look at Serena.

"She spends the day out, acting like everything is normal and then she comes in and she sleeps in that chair in Chuck's room and she leaves in the morning when he's not in the room. I don't know how she gets it to such precision, but it's got to stop."

Serena turned to look at him. "What do you want me to do? I've brought it up to her before. She's in complete denial. And when I do get through to her for a fraction of a second, she tells me with 'great certainty' that the next day will be the one when she'll actually confront of him." Her eyes drifted to the floor again. "She's just so scared." Her hand involuntarily tightened on the arm of the chair she sat in.

"She's got to make a decision, Serena." She looked up at him. "She needs to get out of here or face him head on. It's torturous for all of us, including her, to see her riding that line between courageous and a complete coward." 

She sighed and sunk farther into her chair. "I still don't know what you want me to do." She looked over at him. "I've tried everything."

"Does she know what the doctor said?" he asked. She blinked.

"What did the doctor say?" she asked, concerned. She sat up in her chair. "Is there something wrong?" Eric blinked, wondering if he'd said too much.

"He said there are some complications," he said warily. Serena turned in her seat, her eyes widening with worry, both for Chuck _and_ Blair. She was a little worried for herself as well. She wondered how many other people knew.

"What kind of complications?" she demanded. Eric sighed and put a hand on his sister's arm. She didn't snap away, only tried her very best to look brave. With a soft smile, he reminded himself that this proved just how different Blair was from his sister. He appreciated it at this moment.

"He hasn't said anything, but it's got to be something more than mediocre. I mean, if it wasn't Chuck would have been out of here days ago."

Serena looked to be in shock. She turned away from her brother, facing out the way the chair was positioned and fading in and out of reality. For a very long time she said nothing. Questions were spinning in her mind and they were too overwhelming for her to even think of individually. _How would she tell Blair? Should she tell Blair? Would it be to anyone's benefit if they didn't know to know?_

"H-How long have you known this?" she asked shakily.

"Since that first morning after Blair slept in his room," he said. To his surprise, Serena did not look betrayed in the least that he hadn't said anything sooner. She knew his reasons, and they were valid. "Mom, Nate and I were in there with the doctor when he very vaguely explained the situation to Chuck and the rest of us. I get the feeling Mom knows more than the rest of us, but I haven't asked her yet. I don't know if I will." He sighed. "We've all been so preoccupied with tending to Chuck and Blair," he chuckled. There was no laughter in her eyes when he looked into them. "I'm sure she's told Rufus. She wouldn't keep it all to herself."

It looked like maybe she wanted to contradict him, but she didn't say anything. When she relaxed back into her chair, he knew that she'd given up any attempts in that venue. She concentrated on the cracked door across the hall from them.

"You think if we're sitting out here when she sneaks out that she'll give herself up? Cave in?"

Eric shrugged. "It's a thought. She might cave for awhile." He turned to look at her. She returned his gaze. "But she'll weasel her way out of an interrogation easily until she goes through with seeing him, you know."

She sighed. "Yeah."

"Hey, maybe you should talk to Nate."

Serena's eyes darted to his in disbelief, but he didn't make to apologize or defend himself in any way. It was a mere suggestion. He wasn't demanding anything from her, and she knew that. Somehow though, she couldn't help feeling pressured or guilty in some way, like it was something she should have done weeks ago.

"I don't know how I feel about that situation, Eric…" she trailed off, crossing her arms across her chest and looking away. "I mean, that kiss with Dan must have meant something. We have a lot of history."

"So do you and Nate," he pointed out. She looked at him.

"We've got childhood memories, E, and some unrequited crush."

"Unrequited?"

She sighed. "We haven't even dated a whole year. And besides," She straightened herself in her seat. "He doesn't trust me. That's not good grounds for a relationship."

"So, get his trust back. He's crazy in love with you."

Her eyes flitted back to his. Then, they dropped to the floor. "I know."

He knew she wasn't going to say any more on the subject, not even how Dan would interfere with her feelings on the matter. He knew informing her that staying away from both Nate and Dan all summer wouldn't put her anywhere but exactly where she'd left both of them only a few weeks earlier. In a confused, broken-hearted state. Because that's exactly where she was.

They both looked up when the cracked door finally opened wider. Blair's hair was a bit in disarray, as was the state of her clothing, but she'd heard the sink running in the bathroom and her eyes had flickered open to see an empty, rumpled bed before her. She'd gathered her things and snuck out of the room before the running water turned off. She had not expected Eric and Serena to be staring at her dead-on when she closed the door behind her. She froze in the middle of the hallway. Both blondes looked at her, amused.

"Let me guess, you'll confront him tomorrow, right?"

Her eyes narrowed at the daring blonde boy's words. But he continued before she could say anything. He stood to his feet and walked a few steps towards her. She tensed instinctively.

"He knows you sleep in there, Blair. He goes to the bathroom on purpose, so that you can have an easy escape." He looked at her, seeing the shock come and go on her face – always the _masked princess_. Her mouth shut and he walked away. She looked at Serena, avoiding her gaze. Then she walked down the hall and slipped into the bathroom.

…

She moaned, feeling her arms stretch out of their own accord, and before she knew it she was yawning. She froze when she didn't hear the water running. She'd always heard it before at about this time. She'd been waking up at the same time every morning since she'd made her designated sleeping destination. Unless, _had she woken up late? _Her eyes flickered open and there he sat, her Chuck Bass sitting in his hospital bed, looking directly at her.

_He hadn't gone to the bathroom on purpose_, she thought. Eric had told her that he'd been well aware of her schedule of sleeping and then sneaking out. It was similar to what he had done with her during those few weeks junior year, except they had interacted then, quite physically if she could recall correctly. She wanted to smile at the memory, but her entire mind and body had frozen. This was not how she had planned on first confronting Chuck.

"Chuck." She cleared her throat and messed with her hair for awhile, hoping that it didn't look too terrible, not that she needed to impress him. She sat up straight in her chair. "How are you?" she asked, sincerely, her eyes not leaving his face. She'd seen the rest of his beat-up body countless times though. Every night before she went to sleep, and in the middle of the night when she involuntarily woke up in a gasping terror of repetitive nightmares. The same one every time – Chuck dying.

She stood to her feet when he didn't do so much as blink at her. He said nothing. She didn't know what to make of it. She walked slowly over to him.

"Chuck?" she asked tentatively. Slowly he tipped his head back to look up at her. His face was expressionless. It twisted something deep down in her gut. Suddenly she felt very, very cold. "Do you…remember me?" The subtle desperation caught in her throat must have been obvious to him. She didn't think anyone had said anything regarding amnesia, but anything was possible at this point. She had lost touch with all reality in her sole attempt to keep people from being suspicious of where she slept. It was clear everyone knew by now. She needed to stop pretending. That was obvious from the way Serena and Eric had reacted to her coming out of Chuck's room the day before.

He sighed and she relaxed. He _did_ remember her. There was no amnesia. No one had lied to her to keep her from hurting like before. He just didn't know what to say. Somehow that was encouraging to her. But it also put a heavy weight of uncertainty and wariness in her. He may have been physically injured, but she was still so very much emotionally wounded. She thought again if she should actually be in there, if she should have gone home or back to Paris before any of this took place, before a real conversation happened. She shook her head inwardly and dismissed the notion. It was too late to go back now. She should have done this a long time ago.

With a shaky hand she tentatively reached down and brushed some of his hair out of his face. She felt him shudder under her feather-light touch. A shiver shot through her, chills zipping up her spine. It'd be so long since she'd felt him beneath her hands, too long. _It was a thin line_, she warned herself, comforting him while still maintaining her stand on him keeping his distance for what he'd done. She had to be careful, because everyone was right. She was nowhere close to being healed. She couldn't let him misinterpret what she was saying or doing. She couldn't let herself misinterpret her actions either.

She crouched down near the floor so she was at eye level with him. He didn't look at her, just stared down at the blankets, looking to be lost in another world. She pressed her hand against the side of his face though and his eyes closed. If she looked very closely, she thought she could see his body shaking. It was nowhere near cold in that room. His blanket was very warm.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to get here," she said softly, still brushing her hands over the sides of his face. She liked the feel of his hair gliding through her fingers. She remembered the feel of his lips pressed against hers as she clutched at the back of his neck. The memory made her close her own eyes tightly and swallow hard. When she opened them he was staring straight at her again. "From what I've heard, you don't want me here anyways." His eyes looked away from hers and back at the blanket.

"Talk to me, Chuck," she said, tilting her head to the side. "Don't push me away. Just forget what happened between us for now." The words seemed to get to him. He looked at her, brows furrowed at what looked like anger. His lips parted and he looked like he was breathing heavily. It didn't scare her but she wondered if her fluttering emotions had moved too fast for the situation. She knew they had when he pushed her hand off of his face and off of his bed. Her brows fused too and she stood to her feet. She took a few steps back.

"You've got a real team here, Chuck. They all tried to keep me away except for you doting step-mother." She folded her arms across the chest. He just simply didn't look at her. "It wasn't smart, and I had a lot to say on the subject." She heard a tiny testy sigh slip out from between his full lips. "Just because we're at odds with each other doesn't mean I'd ever want you to be seriously hurt."

His eyes lifted to hers again. He looked at her so intensely that she eventually had to look away because it burned her so much. She scanned the room, wondering if talking light on the set-up and size of the room would ease the ever thickening tension heating up the room. Her heels echoed throughout the room as she moved to the window. The drapes were already pulled away. She could see a full view of Prague. It was beautiful from where she stood. She was getting lost in the cityscape, something that had never happened during her escapades with Serena during the day in the city.

"We never came here, Chuck…" she sighed, thinking back to happier times. "We…" She stopped talking at the sound of rustling and a door closing loudly. She spun around and found that the bed had been vacated and there was a light emanating beneath the bathroom door. Her mouth opened and closed a few times. He hadn't talked to her, hadn't even tried, and then he'd just left. Her lips pursed in an angry, frustrated frown. The experience was extremely disappointing, and nowhere near how she'd expected it to be like…after all this time. Her heels clacked loudly on the floor as she crossed the room and snatched up her purse. She left just as the water started running.

…

He jumped up from his seat when he saw her storming out of Chuck's room. He would not miss her, he would straighten things out. They had all come too far for Blair to officially bail just because her most recent ex had not spoken to her.

"Eric," she said, surprised when he jumped out in front of her. She stopped, almost tipping back in her heels. She blinked a few times to gather herself. "Have you seen Serena?"

"No, let's talk," he said quickly, guiding her in the opposite direction yet still away from Chuck's room. She looked like she was about to something, or perhaps was just extremely humored by his behavior, but he interrupted any possible words that might have slipped out of her mouth. "About Chuck."

She froze. He was grateful that they'd gotten as far as they had. They were almost to the greenhouse garden area of the hospital. A gift shop was also located nearby. There seemed to be very few people in the vicinity, and somehow he managed to get her walking just a little further until they were sitting across from each other in a little canopy area in the center of the garden. A two-foot expanse of wooden flooring was all that separated them. He saw the mild look of disgust on her face. Humidity was not something Blair Waldorf tolerated. He told himself this conversation would be quick. He did not think he could keep her still for very long anyways. It was very possible she _did_ need to talk to Serena, but not before he said something first. He needed to make sure she knew _everything_ regarding the situation with Chuck.

"You didn't need to bring me in here just to lecture me," she informed him, trying to look very knowledgeable. "I would have rejected it just as easily in the hallway." The bitch smile she plastered onto her face almost humored him.

"I didn't bring you in here to lecture you, Blair. All I ever wanted was for you to finally go see Chuck, so the two of you can work things out, or so he can at least be aware that you were physically there for him, all hospital chair sleepovers aside." He watched her as she squirmed a little uncomfortably in her chair. He didn't want this to be prolonged any longer than it needed to be, but he just knew somehow that she was going to be difficult. Spending over a week just trying – for herself – to get into Chuck's room didn't mean that she didn't still consider denial to be her best form of defense.

"Eric, I don't think…"

"You told him to never speak to you again."

Her eyes shifted to his sincere gaze. "How did you know that?" she whispered.

"He told me," he said simply. He leaned forward and placed his forearms on his thighs. His fingers loosely interlaced between each other. He looked down at them for a brief moment before looking back onto Blair's face. He could tell now that she was hanging onto every word. "He remembers everything about that night, Blair."

She swallowed hard. She felt tears fill her eyes but she refused to let them fall out. She'd forever been scared to confront what had happened that night with something other than sadness and anger. When she'd found out Chuck had been shot, she'd put all of those feelings on the shelf for the sake of going to see him and making sure he was okay – because she loved him. But every time she tried to go see him for that most pertinent reason, those feelings on the shelf came crashing down on her and she was unable to confront him. She hadn't thought about the feelings in depth. She just knew that they were there and that they were preventing her from seeing him. Having Eric point this out so obviously made her insides shiver all over.

She blinked several times, her hands clenching tightly onto the bench beneath her. Her nails dug into the fine wood. "What, uh…what do you mean?"

He sighed. "I know everything that happened, Blair, and he is always thinking about it. I don't think he could be any more apologetic or stuck in self-loathing than the way he is right now. It's why he didn't want you to come, and why he won't speak to you. Whether it was just in the heat of the moment or not, he took every word you said very literally from the moment you found out about…" His breath caught in his throat for a brief moment. He would not dwell on Jenny Humphrey just yet. So many other things were going on right then. He could not afford to be conflicted when everybody else already was. "…everything that happened," he finished.

"With Jenny, you mean," she said bluntly. He made no move of regretting that she'd taken that road, but he nodded to confirm her assumption.

"Yes."

She sighed, far too airily for the whole situation. He got very uneasy, and seriously wondered if he had gone too far too fast and if she was actually just going to leave now that he had reminded her of just how awful Chuck had been. He watched, panicking, as she pushed the strap of her purse further over her shoulder. She stood to her feet.

"Wait—"

He rose a second after her and gripped her arm before she could turn away. She looked at the placement of his hand on her elbow and seemed to be calculating very quickly what exactly her next move would be.

"Was there something else, Eric?" she asked innocently, turning fully towards him. He looked at her intently, trying to not shake her head with annoyance at how ridiculous she was being. Her denial was in full force, as usual.

"Don't leave, Blair," he said earnestly. She looked at him just as sincerely for a moment before blinking. Then, she smiled. He didn't like that smile.

"I'm only going to see Serena, Eric. Don't worry." She continued to smile. He frowned as she turned away, his brows furrowing. He knew he couldn't see through her like Chuck could, and sometimes he really wished he could. Her innocent act was a little confusing, even if it was obvious that it was completely face.

"But, Blair—"

She sighed loudly and turned back to him a final time. "I'm not going to Paris, Eric. I'm not going back to New York or anywhere else for that matter until he's better and out of the hospital." She shrugged. "So what if Chuck Bass doesn't love me anymore?" She was so nonchalant about it that he almost wondered if he was dreaming. "Blair Waldorf does not give up."

She smiled brightly and then spun around. The clacking of her heels resounded in the large garden. Eric was dumbfounded and just managed to find the arm of the bench before he collapsed onto the ground in his shock.

…

He heard some commotion going on outside his room. Somehow he just knew it had little to do with the other patients on the floor. The sound of Blair Waldorf arguing with the no doubt scared-out-of-her-mind nurse confirmed his feelings. After the encounter they'd had earlier, he'd hoped she'd just abandon him and go elsewhere with Serena to heal. He should have known better to know that she would not give out on him so easily. He just figured that after how badly he'd screwed up this time, her determination might have lessened. _Apparently not._

Frantic steps informed him that the nurse had vacated the premises, no doubt grateful to move onto other patients' rooms. It was only three in the afternoon, but Blair still strode on, turned on the lights and pushed the pathetic ugly looking portable table in front of him, dropping the overfilled tray down onto it. It resounded with a loud bang. After he'd recovered from the abrupt noise and interruption to his sullen silence that continued as a ritual from day to day, he looked up to the woman now practically looming over him. She was smiling brightly. That was never a good sign.

"Hello, Chuck. I've brought you your dinner."

"I can see that," he said, looking to be halfway between amused and very disoriented. She looked taken aback by the fact that he was actually speaking to her and not sticking to his dedicated silence from before. She had come nearly directly to him after her brief conversation with Eric. It didn't seem to be nearly enough time for him to change his mind, not that she was about to complain.

"You're speaking to me now," she said, sounding amused as her clacking heels carried her to the other side of the bed. She analyzed his behavior from the new angle. He still seemed shocked by the site of the plate of food in front of him. Eventually he came back to his senses and pushed the portable table away, out of reach. He wasn't hungry.

"I wasn't gone that long." She folded her arms across her chest and eyed him suspiciously. He looked up at her, trying to appear as if it wasn't that big of a deal. "What changed your mind?" He opened his mouth to say something. "Oh, and don't even try to pin this on some wise word from someone else here. I was with Eric for the last fifteen minutes, and nearly everyone else is downstairs in the cafeteria or gift shop."

Slowly he sat up in the bed, looking at her as if he had plenty of comebacks to refute her arguments. "Do you normally keep such close tabs on everyone you know in the vicinity?"

She smiled knowingly. "Only when they relate directly to you."

He raised his eyebrows. "Is that so?" She blinked, very sure of her ground. "Well, in that case, I will leave it up to you to figure out why I changed my mind." She bit her lip coyly, laughter playing in her eyes.

"You did a good job trying to keep me away, Bass." Surprisingly, she found it easy to slip into the old habit of toying with him through conversation. There was plenty of hurt, anger, guilt and betrayal between them, but to get to a legitimate conversation it seemed her heart had forgotten them, or at least her mindset had decided to go with casual.

"Call me crazy, I thought I was doing you a favor."

Her smile looked genuine, warm, but it was impossible to tell what she was really thinking and feeling. Even he was having some difficulties. It bothered him that she wasn't responding. His mind had been going somewhat lazily after he'd recovered from the sudden invasion she'd made into his room just a little while earlier. Now, it was spinning.

"And here I thought you knew me so well."

Her stare was penetrating. He didn't know if he could look into her deep brown eyes much longer. He _did_ know her so well, had for _so_ long. All growing up they'd had an understanding. There was a connection between them that they hadn't admitted to till he'd taken her virginity. Aside from the year following when he refused to believe he was worthy of her, he fought desperately to show her just how strong of a connection they had. He didn't know what to think now, but it did occur to him that if he wasn't careful she would soon have all the power and the conversation would go down a dangerous dark path into the deeper dynamics of their relationship.

"Go home, Blair," he said, looking away from her. He couldn't bear to be so close to her. It was painful. He knew he deserved the anguish, but he'd much rather suffer in silence. He wasn't worthy to be in her presence, now more than ever.

"Not until you're okay…" He felt her fingers graze the skin on his forearm. Instinctively, he snapped his arm away.

"I'm _fine_, Blair." His eyes flamed raging fire as he looked at her. She almost looked scared when he looked at her. "I haven't died, and I'm not going to. So, just stay the hell away from me and go live your life around people who won't tear it to shreds."

She took a step back, mortified by his words. She was shaking and he saw it out of the corner of his eye, but he could not make himself feel guilty until she left the room. He would apologize if he did, and then she would have the power again. He just needed her to leave, to go away. She would get over him soon enough. The fact that he knew without a shadow of a doubt that he never would was irrelevant, at least in his mind.

He heard her heels moving across the floor and part of the tension in him eased. He knew it would build up again once she left the room and the guilt consumed him, but he wouldn't be Chuck Bass if he didn't put on the façade that he hated everything and everyone, himself the most, even if he made it out to be that he was a god. His mind blurred and he was barely aware of his head falling back onto the pillow. Apparently, his body was trying to, in some form, relax. He let his eyes close, hoping a nap was just seconds away. That was when he heard Blair Waldorf's heels growing louder and louder, closer to him again. He hoped in vain that it was actually someone else approaching him, but he knew better. The door hadn't opened or closed in the last few seconds. His eyes flickered open and he saw her placing the chair that had been against the wall to where she had stood just moments before. She sat down in it easily and stared him down like a lioness devouring her prey with her eyes, planning the hunt with an eagerness and hatred that would have had any man running for his life.

"You're going to have to try harder than that, Bass." Her eyes were playful again as she folded her hands in her lap. He was suddenly very uncomfortable under her scrutinizing. He had been so sure that his cold words would make her leave. Though, a very small part of him that he was trying so desperately to keep hidden was rejoicing that she was fighting for him so hard.

"Staying the night again, are you?" he asked, trying to sound nonchalant. The fact that it was barely mid-afternoon didn't seem to apply to the circumstances they were in. It had been dismissed in a heartbeat from the moment she sat down again, from the moment he pushed his food aside in all actuality. He eyed her with what he hoped was equal power and determination. She shrugged.

"I might as well. My body has adjusted to this uncomfortable chair after sleeping in it for a week straight." Her eyes sparkled. "But first, I need a bedtime story."

…

Serena collapsed into the chair beside him, directly across from Chuck's room, just like that morning. She didn't look at the individual beside her, just straight ahead. She hadn't spent any of the day with Blair, and didn't want to discuss even in the smallest detail what she had been up to the rest of the day. Eric found it ironic that he hadn't caught a single glimpse of Nate all day. He didn't focus on it too much though. He'd address it later when he wasn't so focused on the fate of Chuck and Blair.

"Long day?" he asked neutrally, still looking straight ahead.

"No comment," she muttered. He took a sip of the water he held in his hand. "She been in there long?" she asked, turning her head to glance at him briefly. He caught her eyes for a mere second.

"A few hours," he said. She nodded, pursing her lips. "I think they're making progress."

Serena raised an eyebrow and looked at him again, this time lingering on his profile. It felt safer to talk about something other than herself. Since Chuck and Blair were the center of everyone's concerns since Chuck had ended up in the hospital of a gunshot wound from a mugging in the dark alleyways of Prague, they were definitely a safe bet to go with in conversation.

"What makes you say that?" she asked, sinking into her chair. "Blair hasn't come storming out yet?" He chuckled.

"And people say you aren't smart." His eyes twinkled at her. She smiled and laughed a little. A smidgen of offense hit her, but it didn't last long. She couldn't remember the last time she had actually had a good time with someone when there wasn't some underlying tension, least of all her younger biological brother.

"Who says I'm not smart?" She feigned hurt, placing her hand delicately across her throat in mock damsel-in-distress mode. Eric smirked.

"They choose to remain anonymous."

She smiled and shook her head. A silence ensued and she started to wonder why they did spend so many hours sitting in front of or near Chuck's room. As far as they knew everything was fine. His extended stay was a little concerning, but there had been no confirmation of something seriously wrong. It was probably only necessary for one or two of them to stick around nonstop. Serena and Blair were the obvious nominees for getting the boot. Neither had given in, and as a result, all six of them remained in the vicinity of Chuck's rooms. Lily and Rufus were probably wondering what it was like outside of the hospital. They went to their hotel so terribly late at night. Serena was beginning to worry for her mother and her excessive maternal nature. It had grown strangely intense since she'd married Bart Bass. Finally marrying Rufus Humphrey definitely added to that effort. She could not deny that helping Chuck through his many troubles did not aid as well.

"How's Mom and Rufus?" he asked curiously.

"Well, I'm sure…" she trailed off, realizing a tad too late what she had revealed. Eric turned his head to her and raised his eyebrows in amusement. She cleared her throat. "They're fine." She focused her attention back on Chuck's door. She could feel the heat rising in her neck and knew that he was on the verge of laughter. Sometimes she hated how observant he was. Eager to get Nate out of her mind once again, she fished for a magazine on the wooden rack beside her on the wall. It was filled with celebrity make-ups and break-ups. It was several months old and she was chagrined to find her own scandalous photos inside. Eric took a peek at what she was looking at and snickered.

"Are you sure it's good that she's in there so long?" she asked hastily, rising to her feet. He grabbed her arm before she barely got out of her seat.

"It's fine, Serena." He was still smiling at her when she sat back down. It was clear she was embarrassed but she would not admit to it. She focused her mind very intently on Blair mode again.

"It took her so long to get to this place, to actually confronting him and talking to him…about anything." She waved her hands around, actually believing what she was saying. "I just…I don't want him to say anything that's going to wound her more."

Eric looked at her worried, forlorn face and something deep inside tugged at the brotherly duty in him. Despite the fact that he was a younger, he had always felt a need to really be there for Serena in any way he could. It was the same way for Blair and for Jenny. Though Serena had been hurt the least through everything Chuck this time around, he immediately conformed to the sad face of his sister beside him. Teasing seemed foreign to him now.

"She knew it was a risk coming here," he said quietly. She looked up at him, her lips parted.

"I-I tried—"

His eyes closed and he shook his head, putting her into a sighing silence. "She didn't rebel against your wishes to prove to you she was strong," he said. She nodded slowly.

"I know," she whispered. She huffed in frustration. "I just wish sometimes she wouldn't love him so much." Her voice sounded teary and he looked at her again. He looked at her sympathetically.

"No great love is ever easy."

She smiled weakly. He reached out and grasped her hand. The grip was firm and very encouraging, broken at the last second by the door across the hall suddenly bursting open. Both their hands dropped in their shock. Their heads turned to the figure who'd just stepped into the hall.

"Blair…" Serena whispered, trying to summon her _best friend's great advice and comforting words_. The brunette looked at them brightly. She looked excited. That made even Eric uneasy.

"Blair…?" Eric asked hesitantly. She looked at the two of them and abruptly stopped in the middle of the hall. She clasped her hands together joyfully.

"I feel so much better."

The two blondes watched as she readjusted her purse and strutted down the hall. In typical Blair Waldorf fashion, she scolded the nurses for their low-class behavior and despicable food selection in an overbearing cheery voice. The pitch was much too high. Then, she was gone, having taken the stairs instead of the elevator. Eric and Serena looked at each other, unable to form any words. Then, Chuck stepped outside of his room, causing them to jolt again. He smiled a little, acknowledging them.

"I think I'm going to eat in the cafeteria tonight," he said. Eric looked down at his watch.

"It's 4:30," he said. His mind reversed to when the nurse usually brought his food. "And wasn't your food brought to you at—"

"3:00, yeah." He smiled, looking to be falling back into some fond memory. Then, he looked back at them. "I just have to get out of there. It's so…depressing." He laughed and shook his head, going the opposite direction Blair had gone, cheerfully making his exit. The destination was the same though. The blondes watched him, as bewildered as they'd been with Blair.

"He's never wanted to leave his room," Eric said, still staring after the now departed vision of Chuck. "He always takes the hospital food, even though I'm 100% sure he can't stand it."

"Right," Serena said, unable to think of anything else. Eric wanted to say 'I told you so' _so_ badly, but he was still trying to adjust to the fact that Blair and Chuck had bounded out of Chuck's room like kids just out of a candy store, like they were still a couple and nothing was wrong.

"They didn't have sex in there, did they?" Serena asked without thinking. She turned to Eric, looking very needy for an answer to the question that had so clearly not been thought through. It didn't seem to phase her brother. He was equally bewildered.

"I didn't _hear_ anything," he said, confused beyond belief.

"Huh."

…

A/N: Hope you enjoyed! *beams* This took me freaking FOREVER, & I gave you TWO CB interactions, so I think I deserve something here. ;p Almost every chapter from now on will have CB interacting. ;p Review! I promise I'm not going to do what the show stupidly did with Eric & Chuck. Like, who came up with _that_ hatred?


	10. From Denial to Vengeance

A/N: Heeeey, only a week later I update this! I think that's pretty impressive considering how long it was in between chapters before that. Lol. In case you couldn't tell, going off of my constant updates of my newest story, my writing muse is back. ;) Maybe b/c I don't think I can really vid CB until they're done with this 'war' of theirs, or maybe just b/c I'm inspired to write again. Heh. Whichever, hope you read and review. And please, pleeeeeeease vote on my profile poll! =D

*I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.

…

**Ch.9—From Denial to Vengeance**

He stared straight on at the wall, the blank part that he couldn't possibly concoct any memory from except for the fact that Blair Waldorf had slept with her head right on the spot for over a week straight. For the moment, that fact did not occur to him. He wasn't thinking anything right now, not about her, not about anyone or anything. A lot of the morning, he hadn't been lying in bed. He'd been pacing, wondering what had happened the night before, if anything had happened, if it had all been a dream with a strange ending. Eventually he had gone back to lie down in the bed because he had nothing better to do and he could not recall ever walking around for no good reason, even when confused out of his mind.

There was a knock at the door that jolted him out of his non-thought. He turned his head towards the door and released a breath he didn't know he'd been holding.

"Thank-god it's you, Nathaniel." He sat up straighter in his bed and took a quick sip of the water in the paper fit-in-the-palm-of-your-hand cup that sat beside the bed in a metal tray on top of a portable table.

"Were you expecting someone else?" he asked curiously, shutting the door behind him. _Blair, Blair, Blair_, he chanted secretly in his mind.

"I think of come up with the perfect plan to get Blair out of this hospital and back to where she came from," he said very assuredly.

Nate sighed and muttered to himself. "And here I thought it was going to be different today."

"What?" Chuck asked, perhaps thinking his best friend had some wisdom to offer. He'd never had any before, none that he could think of, he thought, but at this point he was getting desperate. Nothing he'd come up with thus far had been entirely foolproof against the determination of Blair Waldorf.

Nate shook himself out of his hopefulness very quickly. "Uh, nothing." He leaned his frame against the wall. "It just sounds like you're exiling her, don't you think?" Chuck looked confused. Nate couldn't believe it. "Sending her _back to where she came from_?" He jogged his memory and comforted himself with the fact that his best friend seemed to have recalled his own words. He even smiled a little.

"I'm not sending her back to New York, Nathaniel. I'm just getting her out of this hospital, maybe out of this city or out of the country if I'm lucky. Didn't you say she was vacationing in Paris with Serena, her father and Roman too…" he trailed off.

"Yes," Nate said, nodding and quickly become frustrated. He walked a little ways into the room and sat in the chair Blair had been known to occupy. "I did say that." He covered his eyes with his hand. "So," he asked, "what is this 'perfect plan'?"

"I'm glad you are so interested in my new theory," he said, sounding pleased with himself. Nate dropped his hand to the arm of his chair and rolled his eyes, not really caring that Chuck did not notice.

"Not like I have much of a choice…" Nate muttered.

"My plan is you tell her to leave."

Nate's eyes narrowed. He scoffed. "Haven't we…tried that before?"

Chuck sighed. "Yes, but this time it will be different."

The blonde looked bewildered. "_How_?" he asked in disbelief. "Because I'm talking to her _this_ week instead of _last_ week?"

The brunette sighed and put his head in his hands. "Try not to be difficult, Nathaniel."

"_I'm_ being difficult?" Chuck looked at him innocently as if this new idea was the smartest one he'd ever come up with. "Chuck, tell me what's really behind this sudden…_dawning revelation_."

"It is not a _dawning revelation_. More like an insight that—"

"_Chuck_."

He sighed and finally met his eyes. Nate wasn't buying this bullshit, and quite frankly neither was he. "Fine." He sat up straighter in the bed and took another quick sip of the water beside him. Nate looked at him expectantly. "Blair and I may have…interacted."

Nate's eyes widened. He immediately sat up in his chair, shocked beyond belief and now definitely at full attention. "I thought she just usually fell asleep and then took off before you barely opened her eyes."

Chuck looked at him and nodded. It would be best if Nate didn't know that he had calculated his exit every morning to precision so she could sneak out without him noticing. Only Eric had picked up on it thus far and not by him telling him either. Eric was very observant. With things like this it severely irritated the otherwise very composed Chuck Bass. A lot had changed since he'd left New York a few weeks ago, but his younger brother's acute awareness of his older brother's feelings, no matter how hard he tried to hide them, remained very accurate, almost flawlessly so.

"What happened?" Nate asked. He shifted in his chair. Chuck shifted a little uncomfortably in his chair as well. He shrugged as if the experience had been nothing out of the ordinary, as if nothing of significance had come from it.

"She came and talked, I didn't. She came again, practically threw my food on me and demanded a bed time story," he sighed, sounding somewhat annoyed. Nate gaped and finally Chuck looked at him. "What?" he asked, bothered by the disbelief on his best friend's face.

"A _bed time story_?" He was completely baffled.

"I thought it was weird too, since it was the middle of the day, but" he shrugged, "after what I did to her, I figured it was the least I could do. Maybe it'll be the start to making amends." He nodded, proud of his conclusion and ignoring the disbelief on his best friend's face very effectively.

Nate slunk back into his chair. He exhaled in quiet exasperation. "Good lord." He lost his gaze on the floor. "What is this plan again?" he whined breathlessly. Chuck ignored the tone. "No wait, don't tell me, I remember. I'm just supposed to tell her to leave and she'll do it."

Chuck smiled, proved at the progress he was sure he was making. If he could openly be blind-sighted in front of people, then he would no doubt eventually believe in the theories filled with nothing but stupidity when no one else was around.

"She's already come to see me and we've talked. I'm not dying and she's seen that. Obviously there's no other reason for her to stay," he said, sounding very serious. It was in fact the most serious he had sounded, the most sense he had made, since Nate had walked in the door. He didn't take him seriously, just like he hadn't since he'd been aware of Blair's first night sleeping in Chuck's room and Chuck had continued to act like it didn't affect him when in fact he was becoming more see-through about his desperation for her by the second. But all of this didn't stop Nate from looking at his best friend and trying to see what was behind all this nonsense once again. He doubted this 'new plan' would work at all. In fact, he was 100% sure that it wouldn't.

"I'll see what I can do," he muttered, standing to his feet and crossing the room. He waved off the _thank-you, Nathaniel, you're a good friend_ that Chuck threw at him as he stepped out into the hall and closed the door behind him, still looking as bewildered as ever. A passing nurse looked at him cautiously to see if he was alright.

….

Blair, in all her glory, waltzed into his room later that afternoon. He'd been thinking about her all day, about how to get rid of her and what had happened between them the day before, what exactly had happened. He remembered all of it in vivid detail, but he still couldn't gather what the chain of events all meant. And he _needed_ to know. He needed to know before she left. That was the real reason he'd acted like a complete idiot in front of Nate that morning, insistent that the same old tactic that had never worked from day one was going to work now. The real trick to his idiocy was that he knew, regardless of the past results, that Nate would try to get her to leave by doing exactly what he'd said to do, and that the end result of that would be Blair storming into his room to give him a piece of her mind. Then, he could hurt her. He was nothing if not relentless. She wasn't the only one.

"Chuck, I heard you wanted to see me," she said, smiling brightly. She was beaming, no doubt willing to repeat their activities of the day before. It was true that going off smiling to dinner – even if it was in opposite directions – had made everyone think things might be progressing well between them and so leave him alone in his demand to get her to leave. He knew it was her trying to get him to want to be there, but he'd taken the offer because he was sick of people worrying, and she was no doubt very proud for the achievement, just as she was proud of herself now. He was very sure he was going to be annoyed to the point of disgruntlement by the little speech he was about to endure before he could properly bash her until she could not _stand_ it, until she felt the only thing she _could_ do was leave.

"Those weren't the direct words that came out of my mouth when I spoke to dear Nathaniel, but I suppose they will have to do for the time being." He observed her as she walked towards him, glowing in all her beauty and assurance. She was intoxicating. He was nearly overwhelmed at the thought of her leaving him, but his guilt still lay heavy on his heart, his shoulders grew weary and worn every second he thought of just what he had done to her, of every awful thing he'd done to her, and those seconds were now every second of his life. He couldn't let her stay; he just couldn't. He knew he'd find some way of killing himself if she did not leave before he had made himself worthy of being in her presence. He was sure of it as he was sure the air would still be there even when he was not thinking of it at all. Her presence was dangerous to his very existence. She _had_ to leave.

"Yes, well, I'm very good at reading between the lines." She continued to smile brightly, but now she moved to the wall to pull up her favorite chair and set it beside his bed. She was halfway to sitting down when he spoke again.

"I hate you."

She froze, her bubbly mood gone in a heartbeat. She could not speak. She could not do anything. She just stayed there, practically squatting in mid-air, but for her legs firmly pressed together. Her eyes screamed at him to explain himself, but his expression was blank. What looked like hard cold truth spread across his face.

"I-I uh," she cleared her throat and sat down slowly. She smoothed out the nonexistent wrinkles in her skirt. "I know you probably didn't want me barging in here unannounced, but you should know me enough not to be surprised by that particular—"

He sat straighter on the bed. "Maybe you didn't hear me correctly. I said I _hate_ you."

"No." She held back the tears in her eyes, begging for a dry gust of wind to suck the moisture away. "I heard you," she said softly.

"I've always hated you, Blair."

"_What_?" Her voice was so quiet, baffled in its scared innocence. His words didn't sound true at all. A tension settled in the room and extreme heat filled her body from head to toe.

"I wish we'd never met. I wish you'd never met Nate. I wish you hadn't even existed."

What bothered her more than the icy glare in his eyes was the way his voice was never uneven at all. It didn't sound like he was trying to make her hurt. It sounded like he was just making her face the facts. It was as if he'd finally decided to pull her out of some dream world that she must have created herself.

"I never loved you," he said. "Nate never loved you either."

"_Stop it_," she ground out. He raised his eyebrows in what looked like amusement.

"Oh? You tell me to stop only _after_ I mention the state of Nate's love? The fact that it had never been?"

Her brows furrowed in hopelessness and her mouth opened and closed. He looked at her as if she were some dirty specimen he was having the pleasure of condemning to exile, but first telling her every horrible thing he believed he thought of her. She swallowed hard. Then, in one swift move, she stood to her feet and shot him an angry glare, hiding the hurt in her rapidly beating heart.

"I never loved anyone as much as I loved you. What I felt for Nate is a speck of _dirt_ compared to how I feel about you, and you know it." For a fraction of a second she thought that it was probably unwise for her to be declaring her love to a man who had hurt her so much. His betrayal was so great that she'd never wanted to see him again, and now here she was, begging for him to believe that still loved him. He looked at her intently but said nothing. Then, he sighed and looked down at the sheet.

"But, you no longer love me, and I'm glad." He looked at her. "I never wanted your love, Blair. Not for one second. It will do you no good to stay here. You need to leave." He watched her face as it crumbled before him, fighting to keep its firm composure. "I _hate_ you."

"Stop it," she sniffled, shooting to her feet.

"Why? Afraid I'll break your heart again by telling you the _truth_?" he asked, shooting forward on the bed, his eyes piercing through her soul.

"No! Because you're not telling me the truth! You're telling me lies! You just want to make me hate you like you hate yourself!"

"I have no feelings!" he screamed, pulling the covers off him in an instant and standing to his feet. She backed away, scared of what he would do in this temper. The back of her knees hit the chair and she stumbled back as the chair skidded across the floor, stopping when it slammed into the wall.

"Chuck…"

"And you don't have any either! You stupid, selfish, worthless _bitch_!" he shouted, not caring that probably everyone in every room in the hall could hear his voice. He had to get her _out_. And nobody was coming to stop him.

She gasped. "Chuck!" Tears welled up in her eyes again, a small droplet dripping out of its own will. She took another couple steps back, her feet moving back of her own accord. She nearly tripped in her own heels. He'd never shouted at her before. She'd never hear him shout to _anyone, ever. _She didn't know how to act and she was scared out of her mind.

"Go ahead, cry. They're fake tears. All of them. Just like any love anyone could have ever had for you. If you had never walked into my life, I would have never thought I was in love. I could have continued to be numb to life until the very end. I could have lived without the cursed weight of _regret_ and _torture_!"

"I _love_ you!" she cried out, tears now flying down her face. She was on the verge of collapsing there right where she stood. But he didn't hear her. He just continued out, pushing down her self-esteem and courage and declarations of love. He saw her fall apart right in front him and made himself step out of the situation so he could continue on.

"Chuck, please stop…" she begged, her eyes closing because her vision was so blurry with the tears he'd created.

In one last attempt to shake him out of the temper that had taken over him, she purposefully strode to him in two large steps and pressed her body up against his, claiming his mouth to show him she cared and she wasn't going to leave, even he wanted her to. But it failed. The second their lips touched, he pushed her away from him with such force that she nearly rammed her head against the wall. He continued on his torturous desecration of her existence, blinding himself to her tears and her heartbroken face.

But then he lost his breath, and fell. He heard her scream and then everything went black. Blair backed away, horrified at the sight of his violently shaking body hanging off the side of the bed. He had clearly lost consciousness but she could not stop screaming, though most of it was drowned out by the loud noises emanating from the monitors surrounding his bed. Soon nurses and orderlies and a doctor rushed into the room. Nate must have been the closest one of all that had come for him, because he was the only one that stepped inside. Blair was no longer screaming now. Her eyes were very watery though, red and her cheeks were covered with tears. Her hand was covering her mouth as she watched the nurses and doctor try and recover her precious Chuck. Nate's voice called to her through all the madness and an eternity later she turned to see his pleading face in the doorway. Shakily she made it out of the room and then she was running, tears flying down her face.

"He's gone into cardiac arrest!" She heard one of the nurses or orderlies or someone from that room say. She cried harder, completely overwhelmed by everything that had just happened. Nate's hand grabbed the crook of her elbow just as she turned the corner, and without thinking she collapsed in his arms when he turned her to him. She sobbed on his chest for what felt like forever, and when she was finally spent he took her out of the hospital and he cradled her huddled body against them in the back seat of his limo.

…

A/N: Wow. *stares at last scene in disbelief* That was HARD to write. *shudders* Well, review! lol. I'll try to update soon. Maybe tomorrow if the episode doesn't completely break me by showing me that right now Chuck truly wants to hurt Blair, and not just because he doesn't want her to hurt on his accord more in the future.

Please vote on my profile! =D And please review. ;p


	11. Fighting Transparency

A/N: And here I thought people had stopped reading. ;p You guys are amazingly sweet. Glad you're enjoying the fic still. Please review. =) And, in case you missed it the first 100 times, vote on my profile if you haven't already. Lol.

*I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.

….

**Ch.10—Fighting Transparency**

In the hotel suite where the Van der Humphrey's – and Nate – had decided to stay, there was chatter the next morning and the soft clashing of silverware against plate as they swarmed around the breakfast table. Room service had been ordered and everyone had come out of their rooms either yawning and still in PJs or prim and proper looking ready for work – Lily being the latter, everyone else being the former. It was just like home, sort of. Everyone was together and looking cheerful, a little. But breakfast wouldn't be breakfast without Lily bringing up what everyone was trying not to think about for just one meal.

"So, has anyone been to see Charles lately?" she asked casually. Eric shifted a little uncomfortably. Serena stopped eating her food and started pushing it around her plate with a fork. Rufus cleared his throat.

"No, I haven't. Maybe you should visit him again today," he said, smiling at her. She smiled back, glowing a little less than usual at the comment.

"I probably will," she said. Everyone started eating again, but it took Serena the longest to get the food back into her mouth. It would be understatement to say that her mother noticed. Eric had been slanting glances at her but she was lost in her own world, dwelling on the events of the night before no doubt.

"Serena," she said. Her lovely blonde daughter did not even hear her. Eric watched her closely. "Serena," Lily said louder. Eric nudged her and finally she looked up just as her mother was about to say her name again. Lily smiled calmly. "Is there something wrong, dear?" she asked politely. Serena shook her head.

"No, I'm just tired is all." She sighed. Lily's brows knotted. Then, her face smoothed over, trying her very best to override whatever the problem was with too much positivity.

"Well, perhaps a day out shopping with Blair will wake you up. It's supposed to be a beautiful day today," she said cheerfully, looking out the window and admiring how blue the sky had already gotten, not a cloud in the sky and the trees were only slightly waving in the wind. "Not too hot I shouldn't think." She took a bite of some fruit, swallowed and looked back at her. When she looked up at her, her eyes were too bright again – a huge contrast to Serena's dreary gray-blue eyes.

"I don't think so, mom."

"But, dear—" She tried gesturing out towards the window again. Rufus put a hand over hers, tuning in to Serena's not so pleasant desire to keep quiet.

"Lily," he said softly. She looked up at him and then at her daughter.

"Of course you can do what you like. This is your summer vacation after all…" she trailed off. "Where is Blair by the way? Still sleeping?"

Eric nodded, keeping himself silent by continuing to sleep. Serena sighed loudly and stood to her feet. Her mother naturally questioned her but she proceeded to take her plate to the sink and head down the hall. Lily's brows furrowed.

"Well, that was certainly rude." She laughed lightly. Rufus and Eric's eyes met briefly, then Eric set his sights on his mother.

"Nate brought Blair here last night, mom. She was crying hysterically. Apparently, Chuck went into cardiac arrest when she was visiting him late afternoon," he said quietly. The hand which held Lily's fork froze. Rufus' hand tightened further on her other hand. She blanched.

"_What_?" she managed. "I…I…uh…" Her mind was spinning, trying to get a hold on the situation and _why_ she had not been _contacted_ before now.

"I only found out this morning," Eric said quickly, hoping his mother wouldn't brandish him too much by the fact that he had known first, after all the hours she'd spent worrying for her step-son at the hospital. "And the only reason Serena knew was because she heard them come in. Nate didn't see her I guess so she didn't do anything, but he didn't take Blair into the room she shares with Serena. He took her into his bed and slept with her," he said. "With clothes on," he clarified. Lily seemed to have relaxed a little from the tension that had gotten higher throughout his entire summary of recent events.

"Serena checked on her this morning," he continued softly. "She's all curled up in a ball on Nate's bed wearing the same clothes as yesterday. Nate's gone, must have left early this morning." He sighed and sunk back into his chair. There was a deadly silence at the table, one all of them wanted to get out of but it seemed impossible. This was _huge_ news.

"I'm sure Blair will be fine," Rufus said, soothingly rubbing his palm in circles on his wife's back. Lily nodded numbly.

"Yes, I'm sure she will be." She attempted a half-smile and failed. "It's not her I'm worried about." Slowly, she stood to her feet, taking her plate and glass with her. Rufus' hand dropped back into his lap. He watched her with concerned eyes as she crossed the room and placed the plate beside the sink. Eric watched her too. She blew out a huge slow breath. Then, she looked up and turned back to the two men still sitting at the table. There was still some tension and Eric didn't dare move.

"I'm going to freshen up a little and then I'm going down to the hospital. There cannot possibly be a good reason I haven't been contacted about Charles going into cardiac arrest." She was gaping again. Eric's face softened for his mother. "I mean, is he even alright?"

"I'm sure he is," he insisted.

"You don't know?" she asked, aghast. Then her face smoothed over and she forced herself to breathe out again slowly. "No, of course you don't. Well, all the more reason for me to go." She shook her head and headed down the hallway towards her room. "These doctors are incompetent. They couldn't even tell me what was wrong with him before…" she trailed off, her voice almost mute after she got into the bedroom.

Eric had turned around to watch his mother but he turned around and looked at Rufus. They both looked down at the table and then slowly stood up and took their plates to the sink. Before moving away, the two just stood there, feeling very swallowed up into the whole situation.

"Something weird is going on here," Eric said. Rufus looked at him.

"I think you're right."

"Something went wrong when they took that bullet out," he said. Rufus looked at him cautiously interested. "I mean, I can't think of anything else." Rufus appeared to be trying to digest that. "Can you?"

He sighed. "No," he said, sounding very resigned. The clicking of Lily's heels grew louder the closer she got to the kitchen. She was fully ready now and nearly charging towards the door.

"Let's go, Rufus," she said, determined, on goal in mind – _saving Chuck_, and perhaps delivering a lawsuit.

"You coming?" Rufus asked. Eric contemplated it for a second. He did really want to be there for his wounded step-brother when he came to, but he glanced back down the hall and knew the girls would need him more. He turned back towards Rufus.

"I think I'd better to stay here."

Rufus smiled and squeezed his shoulder. "We'll call with updates." Eric nodded and watched with a flickering gaze as they left. He heard the last syllable of his mother's goodbye. Then he took the rest of the dishes to the sink and waited.

…

That empty space on the wall right above the chair Blair Waldorf always sat and slept in; it looked the same. It had looked the same the day before, and the day before that, and the day before that. Something thing was wrong. Something had changed. So many things had changed. But not that spot on the wall. It was the same. It was the only consistent thing in his life at this point.

He realized now that the conversation with Blair could have gone better – the blow out with Blair could have gone better. He could have not lost control. He could have not told her their whole love story was a waste or wasn't true, maybe both. He could have just spent time with her like he'd been yearning for the entire day when he wasn't dwelling on how to get rid of her, which surprisingly, the time was equally matched for. What he regretted most of all though was scaring her with his _heart attack_.

It had scared the shit out of him too. There was no doubt about that. He was unconscious for most of it, but that didn't mean he hadn't heard the first of Blair's screams. It was the worst sound in the world, worse than seeing and hearing her cry. Because she was breaking down for _him_. It hurt worse than seeing her terrified and desperate for his love and begging for him to stop lying to get her to leave before his body had physically made him stop. _Had he been asking for it?_ Maybe. Maybe his body was as sick of his resistance as everyone else. Maybe it was time to let Blair have her way with him again, even if it ended with his body deciding he needed another heart attack anyways.

There were more tubes in him, wires attached with sticky pads, a small paper cup nearby filled just at the bottom with a little water. He was propped up in the sitting position, well, a relaxed sitting position. He'd demanded it. He wasn't about to just lay down in bed all day, staring at the ceiling. Though, he supposed staring at that blank spot on the wall wasn't too much better. He sighed, listening to the quiet hum of the monitors around him and his now steady breathing. He remembered a little bit of the heart attack. He remembered feelings nauseous and suddenly very weak. He could still feel how his knees had given out and he'd started to fall, his body starting to shake. It was as if it happened in slow motion and he could see it now, outside of his body. Not that he was about the admit to having an out of body experience, but it was pretty damn close, he thought at least.

After he'd just started shaking, everything around him went black. He heard the first of Blair's screams and after that all he could remember was dreaming. First it was a bunch of nonsense that involved flying colors, shooting missiles and country hillsides where the sun was having a party with the moon and stars – complete nonsense. But after awhile he started dreaming of Blair. That was what made him wake-up, he figured. He didn't deserve to be dreaming of her, just as he didn't deserve to have her company in his room. She deserved so much better than him. And yet, unlike when he'd first come out of his blackout from getting _shot_, now he desperately wanted her with him. He wanted her there telling him everything would be okay, that he wasn't gone, that _she_ wasn't gone, that she would _never leave him_. He was just a little boy wanting someone to hold him.

But, he'd scared the shit out of her, and he'd yelled at her, spouting lies in every direction and even pushing her. He'd never meant to do that. He'd insisted to himself that he needed to emotionally hurt her as far as he could, so that she'd never want to stay so close to someone who hated her or thought of her as worthless or whatever else. But, somewhere along the way, it was himself he'd started yelling at. Her declaration of love was crushed in an instant. All of her words were crushed. Her resistance was why he pushed. The heart attack had probably been a good thing. If people loving him made him want to hurt them because he felt he didn't deserve it, he didn't know what he was capable of. He didn't know what his limits were. _He was a monster._

He was pretty restrained, lying there in that hospital bed, but he could reach a few things. First to go was that water cup. He reached for it, honestly wanting to drain it of the little liquid it had left into his mouth. But his fingers just barely reached the surface of it and it fell on its side, the contents falling onto the floor in a splattering puddle. Chuck just stared down at it for the longest time, like he'd never seen water before, or at least not it arranged in such an interesting fashion. He shook his head, bringing himself out of the brief reverie.

He looked back at the paper cup on the portable table and reached for it but he was constricted by the wires and the tubes in him. He pushed himself with extra effort but his chest was starting to hurt again and so he stopped, resigned. An actual tear dripped out of his eye because of the fact that he could not reach the cup he'd been able to barely touch no more than a minute ago.

He settled back in the bed, the way he'd been before, and a second later he heard the paper cup drop to the floor. Despair and outrage swamped his system. It was ridiculous really to get upset over being unable to reach a paper cup but he'd had no one to see him in the last 24 hours. All he'd had was the empty room, a bed pan beside his bed which he was _not_ looking forward to using, and the blank wall sitting before him, tempting him, torturing him with the occasional almost hallucination of Blair sitting there.

He groaned loudly, so completely frustrated. His arm stretched out involuntarily and he realized that he could reach the leg of the portable table. There was nothing on top of the table other than a few pieces of paper and a pen, but somehow Chuck felt power in being able to move it. He pushed it a little and then shoved it all the way across the room. It gave him some adrenaline. The remote for the TV he did not care to use, and in fact did not even work, sat in a little pocket on the bedside looked very probable as another throwing device. He chucked it across the room. He felt like he was on fire. He told himself it was just the excitement from having something to do, but it was far from it. He was thinking of Blair, of them, of what he'd done to her, of how she wouldn't let go, of how no one would let go. Even Rufus was in Prague when he should probably be in Hudson with the daughter he would probably always think _he'd_ raped. He probably was only there as support for Lily. Or maybe he didn't know yet. He didn't want to be around when he found out, if that was the case.

He needed to be injured. He needed to feel pain. He wanted tears of bloody hurt, not heartbreak, to fall from his eyes. He wanted someone to come in and steal his breath so he could just be rid of all of it. Surely Blair would never see him again now. She had to be too scarred by the experience. _But wasn't that what he'd wanted? _

"No," he admitted to himself for the first time, whispering softly. It angered him that he felt this way. It made him want to choke himself if he'd had the strength. He started banging his head on the headboard. When that proved unsuccessful, minus probably a few bruising points, he reached for something on the other side of the bed, but ended up pulling out his IV instead – pulled too hard, too fast. He groaned extremely loud, a few tears seeping down his cheeks in pain. He'd achieved it. He had. So, why didn't he feel any better?

His breathing quickened. It hurt to move. He was openly bleeding now – shouldn't have pulled so hard, shouldn't have let the damp needle tube come out. A noise went off and it drowned out his boiling thoughts. A couple nurses rushed in to him and made to dress the mess he'd made, to fix what he'd done. He just closed his eyes and pressed his lips together tightly, so tight he knew it'd be the palest white – _like snow_ – if he could see it in a mirror. Sweat had broken out on his forehead and he felt a cold, wet washcloth cool his burning face.

"Shh," he heard one of the nurses say against his face. "Calm down," she said softly, slowly. "Breathe In…Out, in…out," she said methodically against him. Over time he settled down, his lips relaxed and parted. He breathed softer and fell asleep.

…

A/N: Please review. =) Better interactions next chapter. Promise. ;p


	12. A Little Miracle

A/N: Since I'm writing up 8 multi-chap fics at once…(lol) *is probably not smart for doing this*, updates will be few & far between, but I promise the chapter after this one will be up soon. =) Please review!

*I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.

…

**Ch.11—A Little Miracle**

After what happened, how he'd no doubt scared her have to death and eventually made her angry, he hardly expected her to show up in his room, at least not so soon. Yet, here she was, Blair Waldorf in the flesh, walking hesitantly into his room and struggling to make eye contact. After how long it had taken her to come into the room and speak to him the first time around, he couldn't believe she'd come so soon, only a day after it had happened, give or take a few hours. He'd thought she would have decided to stay away from him forever now. It was what he was expected, and definitely what he deserved.

He watched her as she closed the door behind her and slowly moved across the room. She didn't sit in what had become known as _her_ chair, and she didn't walk over to the window to distractedly stare out at the city. She came to a halt a safe distance away from the front of his bed. Then, gradually, her eyes lifted to meet his. After a long while her lips managed to twitch into a hopeful smile. He didn't know what to say. He'd tried yelling at her the day before and it had done him no good. He'd been consumed in guilt afterwards. She shouldn't have come back to him. He knew she shouldn't have. _But did she?_ He wanted to ask her, but he couldn't find it in him, thought maybe the question would be too harsh going off of the circumstances from the day before.

"How are you doing?" she asked softly, kindness in her eyes. The simplicity in her words completely through him for a loop. He didn't know what he'd expected, but it wasn't there. It took him an eternity to even come up with the ability to open his mouth and speak.

"I…uh…" He blinked. "I'm alright," he said. She continued to smile a little, but he could tell she was getting a little nervous.

"What happened?" she asked quietly, now looking to the ground, as if she were afraid to ask, as if she didn't deserve an answer. If that was truly the case, he wanted to knock some serious sense into her somehow. He didn't know if he'd be able to though. She was extremely stubborn and now _he_ was the one afraid to approach her in any sort of emotional or physical manner. Unfortunately for him, she was already in the room with him.

"Cardiac arrest," he said. Her eyes flitted to him, asking for more. "That's all I know," he said. "But uh," He smiled slightly, "Lily came in a few hours ago. I have a feeling she won't be leaving without some more in-depth explanations."

A smile slid onto her face, keeping in place his. "That's Lily," she said. "Fiercely protective and loving of her children till the end." His eyes flickered to hers and his smile dimmed slightly. He thought of Lily and how wonderful he'd been to him, how she'd taken him in when she'd hardly needed to. He was not her biological son and Jack was directly related to him. How awful he might have been, she could have resorted to having him delivered into his hands, at least until he was eighteen when he could be on his own. But she hadn't. That fact alone would forever warm his heart.

"Yes," he said quietly.

Without warning, she slowly walked over to the side of his bed and knelt down on her knees. She daringly took one of his hands in her own and smoothed her thumbs over the back of his hand. Her hands were shaking. His eyes flashed to hers immediately. The intensity in them was overwhelming, but it did not seem to affect her when she finally looked him in the eyes. She already looked so very serious. He found himself glued to her gaze, to the deeply sincere emotions she portrayed. His thoughts disappeared. All that mattered was what she intended to say.

"What?" he asked on a single breath. The anticipation was killing him. He felt very tight, desperate for what she was thinking. She bit her bottom lip softly

"We need to talk about what happened, Chuck," she said.

He nodded, knowing it was inevitable. He couldn't just brush off yesterday's events with a few lines about being tired or frustrated with the situation regarding his health. If she'd learned anything from being here for little more than a week, it was that everything in the world that altered his actions or what he was feeling all revolved around her and what he'd done.

"Yesterday was inexcusable, Blair." He sighed. "I crossed a huge line. I'm sorry I had to put you through that." She swallowed hard, and he wondered if that signified forgiveness. He doubted it.

"That's not what I'm talking about, Chuck," she said sadly. He could have sworn he heard her breath hitch. He hoped he was wrong. Nonetheless, his brows furrowed in confusion. _What else could she be referring to?_

"I'm talking about what happened almost a month ago."

He froze, his eyes dead-set on hers. He could feel his hand going numb in her grasp that had loosened a little. He could feel her entire spirit falling away. All she wanted was answers and perhaps a lengthier chance to snap at him, so they could finally be over – closure. It was his turn to swallow hard.

"Okay," he said quietly, not knowing what else to say.

"What happened that night, Chuck?" she asked softly, smoothing her fingers over his hand again. He was slightly comforted by her renewed touch but not exactly enthused by her question. _What did she want? A full on step-by-step of how he'd slept with Jenny Humphrey?_

"Blair—"

"How did it happen?" she asked, more demanding this time. He stared at her in disbelief. _She _did_ want specific details. What was wrong with her?_

He cleared his throat. "I don't uh…think this is a good idea." His eyes flickered to hers and some understanding seemed to light her face. She shook her head and smirked a little in frustration.

"Not like that, Chuck." She sighed roughly. His brows furrowed in confused again. Her face smoothed over and she looked up at him again. "Tell me _why_." Her voice broke and he swallowed hard again. He sighed.

"She was just there, Blair." He took a deep breath as her watery eyes refused to look away. "I thought you were done with me for _good_. You didn't show. I didn't care about anything anymore."

"Not even how _I felt_? Not even what it would _do to me_ when I found out?" Her voice heightened slightly. His eyes narrowed.

"I didn't think you'd care," he said. "I thought you were done with me," he said again. "I honestly expected to never see you again."

She sighed and sat fully on the floor. Folding her legs to the side. "So you told me…" she muttered, remembering back to that painful night.

"I didn't lie to you that night," he said. Her eyes lifted to his, questions racing through the dark brown depths. "Not when you finally found out," he amended. Her eyes lowered again. "All my excuses were the truth," he said honestly. She pursed her lips and finally looked back up to him.

"I can't forgive you for this, Chuck."

He held back any time of fierce emotion that would have slipped through. "I know," he managed. She nodded softly, then got to her feet. It looked like she was about to leave and he didn't know if he could handle it. All that tense talk resulting in the hopelessness of _them_, and she was just going to leave? He felt like he was going to explode. The tightness inside him was ripping him apart with the sharpest blade.

He looked up at her when he heard the ceasing of her smoothing out the nonexistent wrinkles in her skirt. She was already looking at him, and it startled him. What was she going to do now, before she left? Would she tell him she didn't love him, despite her confession the day before? Turn him into an even bigger sorrow-filled monster?

"Don't move on too fast, okay?" she asked softly. His eyes widened slightly and he didn't know if he could move. He managed to sit up a little straighter and very subtly nod his head.

"Okay," he said. He knew he should have said more, knew he should have somehow said something to make her stay, to give them another chance someday, even if it wasn't now. But nothing would come to him. He'd been consumed with guilt too long to even think of a remotely good argument for her to change his mind.

"I'm really glad you're okay," she said sadly, grasping his hand one more time and squeezing it tightly. He felt the shivers that shot through her because they zapped through him as well. He just looked at her, desperation seizing him at a frightful speed but numbness overpowering any attempt to use it to his benefit.

"I'm not," he said, just as he felt her hand slipping away. She blinked but didn't ask him to explain himself. With an enormous amount of courage, on her part he was sure, she bent down and brushed her lips lightly across his. His hand snaked around the back of her neck and he pulled her closer.

…

The hospital was too familiar and down town revisited too many memories…somehow. So, they took a limo when they accidentally bumped into each other in the cafeteria, and they went out to the country. In the back of their minds they probably thought this was the worst idea alive. But they hadn't parted on good terms and they needed to get away. If nothing else, they would be freeing themselves, in a matter of speaking. Neither of them had spoken to Dan since the incident. They hadn't even attempted to acknowledge Jenny as part of the situation either. Their lives had pretty much been centered on Chuck and Blair since that unfortunate day, but now that the brunettes were actually making some progress in the fundamentals of their relationship, they were forced to face their situation with each other. Separating themselves, even for the summer, was obviously futile.

The limo slowed to a stop at the end of a long dirt road. The ride had been a bit bumpy for the last ten to fifteen minutes, but both of them had been too lost in their own thoughts to notice. It occurred to Nate after the fact that maybe he should have opened Serena's door for her and helped her out. But, his mind was muddled, and the limo driver had gotten their first. The two blondes easily found their way back to each other a little way beyond the car. There were no words spoken for a long while, but despite the situation, a faint blush lit up Serena's face when he first looked at her and she noticed. It occurred to her that maybe she should have looked at him first, and that maybe blushing wasn't the best course of action, even if she couldn't control it. Things were so very serious between them, and they could no longer use Chuck and Blair as a distraction. Their faces turned away.

"I found Chuck's little black book," he said neutrally. She raised her eyebrows while keeping her eyes on the ground. _Great opening line, Nate_.

"Good to know you're enjoying yourself." She smiled tightly. He looked at her once again, wondering if he should tell her that all his sex with other meaningless women wouldn't be necessary if she hadn't so broken his heart by running back to her ex. He didn't say it though. She deserved to hurt a little bit for how she'd treated him.

"Talked to Dan lately?" he asked casually. He stifled a testy sigh.

"I hadn't talked to anyone but Blair since leaving before mom called me up and informed me on Chuck's condition," she said lightly. With luck she'd be able to use the comment to direct their conversation back to the brunette duo and away from this dreadful topic.

"How is Blair doing?" he asked cautiously, quietly, as if afraid the topic might break her. Subconsciously she breathed a sigh of relief. _Thank God_, she thought. He was as eager to stop talking about them as she was.

"I haven't talked to her since sometime yesterday." She shrugged. Then, she suddenly turned to him, realization dawning. She hadn't thought about it too much, not with the awkward silent ride over, not with their thoughts spilling over like it was their job to kill them by thinking too hard. But now it came back like a flooding rush. Nate had been the one to bring her back last night.

"But weren't you with her all day today?" he asked, concerned. She nodded.

"She wasn't up by the time we had our late breakfast, so I went to lay with her until she was. By the time I woke up again, she was gone."

"And you didn't go look for her?" he asked. She could tell by his voice that he had gotten suddenly mad. That and the fact that he had stopped walked. She looked at him, confused and a little irritated.

"No…? Should I have?"

He sighed, frustrated, and ran a hand through his hair. "Yes, _Serena_. I mean, God, after all she's been through and then to have to suffer through Chuck screaming at her about how much he hated her and how worthless she was and hated what the two of them had and he went into cardiac arrest?" Her eyes widened in sudden horror. _He was right. _"Who knows what she might have done?"

"She probably just went to the hospital to see him," she suggested, trying to justify herself. It was a terribly weak argument, even in her mind, but it was all she could come up with. Nate raised his eyebrows.

"Were you or were you _not_ here when she just _slept_ in his room every night for a _week_ because she couldn't get over her fear of confronting him from what happened before _anyone_ left New York? After last _night_? She must be _scarred_!" *

She bit her bottom lip tightly. She could have sworn a little blood even seeped through. She was fighting her fear and her anger so terribly hard. She should have not done this. She should have _not_ gone out to the country with Nate. She couldn't just leave, because he needed a ride back too. She was stuck with him basically as long as he wanted to stay, and besides cursing her out for what had happened with Dan, he was insulting how good of a friend she was being. It was _too much_.

Her eyes narrowed. "Go to hell, Nate," she spat, and strode off past him. She heard him scoff but kept walking. He called her name several times, but that didn't stop her from trying to walk in the rocky dirt road in six-inch heels. It'd been stupid, she realized, to put on such high heels that morning when she'd gotten up, but she hadn't known what in the world she was going to do with her day. Spending all afternoon with Nate in the country had certainly not been at the top of her list.

"Oh, that's rich, Serena, that's real rich. Just avoid the subject, like you avoid—"

She spun around suddenly. "I'm sorry, Nate, alright? I'm sorry. I didn't mean for things to happen the way they did, but I can't just fix things. I obviously don't really know what I want and you deserve far better than me almost cheating on you whenever something goes wrong. So, just, leave it alone."

He was taken aback by her fierce eyes and speech. It took him a moment to find his voice. "I was just talking about Blair," he said firmly. She looked at him without blinking.

"Thank-you for taking care of her," she said simply. She looked away briefly, thinking through her emotions one last time before she ended the conversation. "You clearly exceed me in every way."

She turned and walked past him, back to the limo. It seemed safest there now, farthest away from destruction – both emotional and otherwise.

….

"That doctor has not heard the last of me," Lily Humphrey announced, strutting down another hospital hallway on her way to Chuck's room. She'd been demanding answers of the doctor for the last hour or so and had gotten nowhere good. She would not leave until she got some, but that didn't mean she didn't need a break. Her son, Eric, who had stayed around long enough to stop his mother from raising her voice and throwing things across her room, had ushered her out of the room just in time.

"Where's Rufus?" she suddenly asked, her stride still at long and fast at it'd been before.

"He went down to lunch awhile ago. I told him to take a break. He seemed a little overwhelmed," Eric said. Lily frowned, still walking as fast as ever.

"But we're taking a break," she said, confused. "Why isn't he with us?"

"Because he took the break the _first_ time I suggested it."

Lily sighed. "I suppose you're right. A break does sound like a good idea, and perhaps I should eat something too." She chuckled lightly. "I probably should have done it hours ago."

Eric raised his eyebrows and widened his eyes but said nothing. He'd been aware of his mother's antics for most of his life, and he knew when she started talking frantically, it was best to not say too much. He'd tried to give Rufus some of his famous tips, but the man was so in love with his mother that he couldn't adjust too well to how he already responded to her. Luckily, he passed the test just enough to successfully live in the same house and not go so crazy.

He had whispered the first possible time to have a break to him. He needed a little break from his mother – Lily Humphrey, fiercest mother in the world. The man had taken it gratefully, enthusiastically even. Eric's respect for him rose just a little.

Soon the only sound echoing throughout the halls was Lily Humphrey's heels clacking down on the tile. The nurses weren't gabbing at their desks by the receptionists, and hardly a doctor moved from one room to the next. He felt like he was walking through a nursery during nap time. Deliberately, he made an attempt to walk more quietly with his already soft-soled shoes.

He knew his mom meant well, but he didn't think it'd be a good idea if she burst in on Chuck while she was still in the midst of her fury at the doctor. True, she hadn't actually said that she was going to check on Chuck, but she was heading in that direction and Eric knew she would never in a million years take a roundabout way to the cafeteria – not when there had been a much more straightforward route three hallways ago.

"Hey, mom," he called to her, managing to get ahead of her – a miracle in and of itself. She glanced at him while still charging forward.

"What is it, dear?" she asked lightly, managing to tone her voice down to a somewhat normal level yet still with the ferocity that had been evident ever since breakfast.

"Why don't I go on ahead of you?"

She stopped suddenly. "What do you mean, dear?" she asked, turning to him. She looked oblivious but he sensed under the surface she knew exactly what he was referring to.

"Well…don't you think you should, uh," he paused, gesturing at her figure, "relax elsewhere before charging in on Chuck?" he suggested. She laughed lightly, waving the suggestion off with one light whiff of her hand. But when she saw the serious look in his face she sighed and nodded once.

"Perhaps you're right." She smiled politely. "I'll just use the ladies' room and meet you at Charles' room in about ten minutes. Sound good?"

Eric nodded once, feeling slightly guilty that she was preventing her mother from seeing her wounded step-son. But it was in his best interest, and his mother didn't look too distraught. In fact, she almost seemed to understand his concerns. Deep down, he gathered that she did. When she was out of sight he started walking again, deciding it was probably best if he didn't overanalyze the situation.

One more hallway over and he was in front of Chuck's hospital room door. It was even quieter in front of it than it was in the hallway. For a moment he was seriously worried. He twisted the door handle and stepped inside. The first sound erupted – a moan. In that instant he quietly groaned and closed his eyes. _Had Chuck actually managed to get one of the nurses in his bed?_ Stifling the following sigh was particularly difficult. Maybe he shouldn't have been surprised, but it would have been nice if he could be. When Blair had come in and he'd heard that they'd _actually_ had a conversation, he'd really hoped that would help something. After what had actually happened though, he knew it couldn't be good. He just hoped he could resist getting laid until after he got out of the hospital.

Two more steps into the room gave him his surprise. He nearly gasped. Instead his closed lips parted and he swore he lost the ability to breathe. He hadn't seen this image in a long time, months at least. It felt like more than a year. Because there, on Chuck's bed, Blair Waldorf was cuddled up against him and his arm was draped over her. That meant that they'd both been aware of the transition from standing and sitting to lying beside each other, and that there had been some sort of meaningful conversation that had allowed it. Eric thought he was dreaming. Very slowly, he backed out of the room and closed it behind him. He was still in awe when he was halfway down the hall and had finally begun to smile. He even laughed a little, shaking his head at how unbelievable the current situation was. The clacking of heels coming from a nearby hallway alerted his senses.

His mother could _not_ come to see Chuck. _Not now_. Not even though it was ten minutes later. Chuck and Blair needed to be alone. If this intimate moment they'd found themselves in was going to mean anything when they woke up and tomorrow morning when they woke up, they couldn't be interrupted – being woken up by Lily Humphrey would bring too much of reality rushing back.

He went down and met his mother halfway down the next hall. He told her Chuck was asleep and shouldn't be disturbed. Surprisingly all she gave him was a frown and the admission that she'd go down to the cafeteria and eat lunch with Rufus. He went to follow her but decided to go the alternate route, stopping at Chuck's room one more time. Cuddling with Blair definitely beat seducing a nurse any day. He knew deep down Chuck would always find that an absolute truth.

…

A/N: Review please! =D I'd like to say I'll update MMB tonight too, but I just…don't think it'll happen. Lol. Maybe tomorrow or the day after. Heh.


	13. Toxic

A/N: I am trying very hard to get off my CB smut high and come down to the more emotional realm that this story is currently in. *clears throat* It's not as easy as it looks. Lol. Hope you still enjoy! Hehe. Btw, I know I've got NS's SL in here as a sort of side plot, but since it is centered on CB, don't really expect things to get resolved between NS. They may or may not work out…I'm not even sure at this point. XD ha.

*I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.

….

**Ch.12—Toxic**

She couldn't remember if she'd woken up any time after she'd slid in beside him, but he was still beside her when she woke up and the light from a new day streamed in through the wide window. His arm lay over her waist, keeping her tucked into him. She slipped her hand out from where it rested in between their chests. The lost heat made her miss the previous position already, but there were hairs lying over his closed eyes that she simply felt the need to push to the side. His skin felt so warm and soft beneath her fingertips, it made her shiver. For a few moments she could pretend things were perfect and it was only one day before that he'd confessed to be in love with her.

Before her hand had left his face, his eyes opened. His brows furrowed briefly, confused at the figures so very close to his eyes. She tensed for a second, afraid that he'd blow up on her, despite the comfort in which they'd fallen into each other. But, his eyes simply went from her fingers to her face. He turned his body towards her and touched her face with his hand. Her eyes closed at his touch. So very desperately she just wanted to go back in time. She turned her face into his hand and a tear seeped out onto her cheek. His brows narrowed and he pulled her closer to him, feeling her shiver in his arms. Without a word he brushed his lips up against hers, tasting the cherry lip gloss that was still left over from the last time their lips touched. Words would ruin the moment, he thought. Words always ruined everything between them.

_"I love you too."_

Of course there were obvious exceptions. Neither could let them think that far back into happiness though. When Chuck pulled away, he didn't wipe the tear off her face. She did. She looked at him and breathed out slowly, afraid to close her eyes again because the possibility that he wouldn't be over when she opened them seemed too real to her. It was all in her hands, she thought. Regardless of what he'd said or hadn't said, it all depended on whether or not she'd let him back in her life again.

"I don't want this to end," she whispered. His reaction wasn't dramatic, but she did notice a shift of uncertainty in his face.

"It doesn't have to," he said roughly, pulling her hand to his lips so he could kiss her knuckles. His touch was so gentle she thought she was losing touch with reality. All she could see was Chuck's eyes and his lips and his face.

"It does," she said sadly, her eyes finally evading his luring stare. His hand still held her knuckles to his lips. The feel of it made her tremble, but she couldn't find it in herself to pull away.

"Pull away," he dared her softly. She looked back at him, gawking at the fact that his gaze looked as gentle as ever. She was relaxed and tense at the exact same time and it scared her to death. She blinked a few times and then pulled her hand away. She turned away from him and flipped the covers off of her. Then, she straightened her skirt and shirt out just like she'd done before climbing into bed with him. The sigh that came from behind her told her an unpleasant conversation was on the verge of breaking free. She hurled herself full force into the appropriate mental state. When she turned back around he was sitting up against the headboard. She hated how cute he looked with his tousled hair. She had to force herself to resist the overwhelming desire to slide back into bed with him and play with it.

"See something you like?" he asked playfully. His eyes twinkled at her and the past – both joyful and horrendous – threatened to engulf her at that moment. He cleared her throat and dug her nails into the palms of her hands.

"When I found out about what you did with Jenny…" His face fell. Straight from smug to complete guilt and remorse. She stealed herself for another breath. "I was heartbroken, furious, I felt like I was about to explode—" She tensed and he stood to his feet, jumping to her before she turned into shards of glass before him.

"Hey, hey," he tried to calm her, taking her hands in his own. She still struggled so he grasped her shoulders instead. "Don't do this to yourself. Don't torture yourself."

Her eyes flashed up to his. "I _have_ to do this, _Chuck_, don't you _get_ it?" She sounded furious and very suddenly he was frozen. He begged her to tell him more with her eyes. She sighed, keeping the tears inside her eyes. "We can never make this work if we don't get to what really happened and try to fix it."

His eyes widened, his body suddenly numb. Every thought went out the window but the one that was shouting at him that she was willing to give them another chance. Another chance. Here he'd been refusing her because he'd thought it was best. And she'd even told him she could never forgive him. _Where the hell was this coming from?_

She closed the distance between them and cupped her hands tightly around his face. "I hate you, Chuck." He swallowed hard. "You don't _deserve_ me and I should walk away, just like I did in the lobby of your stupid hotel a few months ago." She huffed. "You crossed such a big line, one I just don't think I can forgive you for." Her teeth ground against each other and a single tear trailed a line down the side of her face.

"Blair," he breathed.

"_No_." Her teeth clenched and her nails dug into his face. She did not seem to notice how his face contorted from the action. "I have to get this out," she cried, somehow managing to keep her sobs inside her mouth. She looked up at him again, willing her eyes not to become blurred with tears. He just looked at her, waiting. He didn't even appear in pain anymore.

"I still love you, Chuck." She looked at him sorrowfully, more tears trickling down her cheeks. His heart nearly stopped as he watched her. "Despite everything you've said and done to me, I still love you." She cried, closing her eyes and shaking her head.

"Hey, hey…" He cradled her head in his hands too. Gradually her fingers released the pressure on his face. "It's okay. You're okay," he told her. She opened her eyes and looked at him through blurred vision.

"You almost _died_, Chuck." She sniffled. He felt as though the pain of the whole world was bottled up inside him. Nothing hurt him more than seeing Blair Waldorf cry right in front of him when _he_ was the person she was crying over. He didn't deserve that kind of _care_. "That's a million times worse than even you screwing _Jenny Humphrey_." She laughed lightly as the tears poured down her cheeks. He pulled her towards him, ending the tears, and kissing her passionately on her cherry lip gloss lips. She fell into his arms and he held her to him with relief. An abandoned joy flooded through him. He held onto it for dear life.

….

Half an hour later, she was still lying in his arms, now rubbing her hand over his chest. He smiled a bit as he played with her hair. He loved the feel of her warm body snuggled up against his. He'd longed for moments like these for almost two months. It was scary to think she might decide this was a huge mistake after all at any given moment. It had taken them forever to get to this place. He didn't want to lose it, but he didn't know how to hold onto it with any definitive guarantee. Everything that held them together right then was so very fragile. Despite the fact that she still loved him, and he obviously still loved her – though, he hadn't reassured her of that yet… he had still done some awful things, terrible things. He didn't deserve her love, but now that he'd accepted it gratefully, he was scared to death of what would come next.

"You're so beautiful," he said softly against her face. Slowly, she started to smile and then tilted her head up to look at him. "I love you," he said. Shivers rippled through her. She sighed a little shakily and ran her fingers down the line of his jaw.

"I love you too," she whispered, wrapping her hand around the back of his neck and pulling him in for a sweet kiss. Everything but _the_ _next step_ had been discussed and she already knew she was going to be in complete denial of getting to it anytime soon. She loved this perfection far too much and had been too long without it.

She nuzzled her head deeper into his chest until she could hear his heartbeat and feel his strong arm wrapped around his waist. She never wanted reality to hit. She just wanted to stay with him in this bed for all of time and pretend that any wrongs that had ever been done between them simply did not exist. _It would be nice_, she thought with a sigh. The feel of his lips peppering kisses into her hair made her forget the whole of reality all together. His magical fingers doing a soothing member on the skin of her upper and lower back, even through her shirt. This had to be a dream, she thought. For the life of her she could not even remember a more amazing moment even when they were together, and they were in a _hospital_ _bed_. She flipped herself over so she was lying on her stomach, half on his chest. She laid her chin on her stack of neatly folded hands and looked deep into his eyes. She could get lost in those eyes. For all of eternity she could stare blindly into those eyes, doing whatever those luscious full lips below them requested.

"I don't want this to end," she breathed, surprised even by herself that she'd managed to find the words to speak. The low volume of her voice was evidence enough of that.

"It doesn't have to," he said softly, tucking a curl behind her ear.

_"It's different this time."_

_ "It doesn't have to be… I love you."_

The feel of his hand smoothing over the side of her face was intoxicating. The smell of him was glorious too, and the first thought that followed was that there was a shower in his private bathroom and she could very easily come up with an excuse for the both of them to use it simultaneously.

_No_, she scolded herself. She couldn't let herself give in to this beautiful imagery. This fairytale ending that was far from truly being happy. Still, she closed her eyes and let herself dwell on the warmth of his chest, the curl his arm made around her shoulders and waist, the kiss he pressed to her forehead. She shivered a little and dug her nails into his shirt, pulling herself closer to him. She could feel her eyes starting to water, because she knew this couldn't last. She'd confessed she still loved him, but she'd also confessed that she could never forgive him. Lying like this beside him contradicted everything in that second statement. She knew it would be for her own good to pull away and make him feel the pain she'd felt every day since she'd heard of his activities with that Brooklyn slut, but she couldn't make herself do it. He _loved her still_. She didn't know why she'd doubted that, but somewhere in the back of her mind, despite how hard he had fought for her, she thought that maybe his tryst with Jenny had meant something. She'd seen them paired up an awful lot together since their break-up. And it had only taken a one-night stand with _her_ to create butterflies.

_No_, she scolded herself again. This was not the time to be getting insecure, not over that, even if it might give enough cause to be a good argument against him, should she be able to will herself to part from him and pretend like this glorious moment had never existed. Very slowly, she sat up and turned to him, leaning on her hand on the bed. His arm slipped from around her waist slightly. She saw how his brows furrowed in confusion. The words _what is it_ were as plain as day in his hazel-brown eyes.

"Do you hate me?" she asked, sounding so very vulnerable. His eyes widened a little and his lips parted. His heart was racing. The question had totally thrown him for a loop. After everything that had happened that day, and the day before, he couldn't believe such a thought would have ever entered her mind, not to mention the fact that he'd practically been trying to emotionally and mentally murder himself for the past few weeks for what he'd done to her.

"I mean, do you not…love me anymore?" she asked. His eyes widened even further. He grasped her arms with both hands and sat up, completely speechless with a million different responses running through his head. She knew then that an obvious no was the answer to her questions. The awful fact was that she didn't know if she'd been testing him, trying to give herself a good cause for pushing him away, or if her insecurities – that made no sense whatsoever once one actually _thought them through_ – had simply swamped over her senses momentarily.

"Chuck—"

There was a knock at the door and both turned to see who was at the narrow window seen through the door. Since there was no abrupt sign from them to get whoever it was to go away, the doctor stepped in from his side and approached them. Feeling that maybe this was a just cause to make her move, Blair got up from where she sat on the bed and slid onto the chair a few feet away. Chuck's emotions were flying all over the place from her actions, but he tried his very best to focus on the doctor.

"Mr. Bass," he began. Chuck nodded once and Blair looked on at the _doctor_ inquiringly. "I believe you'll be able to go home soon," he said with a smile. Chuck's brows rose and surprise lit his face.

"Uh…" he made out.

"What happened?" Blair asked, unwilling to be patient enough to wait till Chuck came out of his state of shock.

"Well," the doctor began again, "we were definitely startled by the cardiac arrest Mr. Bass suffered the other day. It was certainly very unexpected since all he'd experienced before was a quite reparable flesh wound. However, there seems to be a bit more involved, and I believe it'll be best if you go back to your hometown and have it dealt with there. I wouldn't worry too much though. Those American doctors know what they're doing," he said, still smiling. Chuck and Blair didn't exchange any glances but their gazes were both unsatisfied and suspicious as they listened to the doctor's pathetic explanations.

"Are there any questions before I go?" he asked politely. "In about an hour you will be allowed to leave. I'll send your records with your mother when you leave, and of course an extra copy to your doctor at home."

Blair scoffed despite herself, but the figure who had just appeared at the door beat her to it. Lily walked forward in all of her confident, protective mother glory and stood right to the left of the doctor, just far enough behind so he wouldn't be able to leave without some amount of difficulty.

"How about you tell us the truth instead, doctor?" she suggested, raising a brow. Chuck and Blair looked at Lily and then back at the doctor, a feeling of scheming victory revving their senses.

"Do you doubt my words?" he asked, sounding completely baffled. "I would never lie to my patients about their condition, most of all one of the most prominent families in the world. The fact that you—"

"_Condition_," Lily said, ignoring everything else that he'd said. The doctor's lips pursed angrily and his eyebrows narrowed a little. She blinked. "Yes. A condition suggests not an isolated incident, does it not?"

The two brunettes looked at the debating adults again.

"What _exactly_ is going on?" Chuck asked, a fire fuming inside him. The doctor actually appeared to be nervous now. Blair could have sworn she saw a sweat droplet or two sliding down his face. The man sighed, resigned.

"I believe someone has been poisoning you, ." The two brunettes looked surprised and betrayed, but Lily just looked angry. "It seems that sometime during the last few days, someone unbeknownst to me, and I'm sure most of the staff, has been drugging while you slept. The result, combined with your obvious stress just before your heart attack caused your heart attack."

Blair's eyes could have been made out of shooting bullets. "I hope you've found the bastard that did this to Chuck."

He swallowed hard. "Not yet." The three of them looked like they were about to explode. "But we are on the look-out and have gotten the police involved. I assure you, we will find whoever did this to you, but because of how secretly this individual has been poisoning you, I very strongly suggest you go back home. You've been in the hospital far longer than necessary anyways. And that was only because your—"

Lily made a short abrupt little noise, causing Blair and Chuck to look at her with confusion and surprise. She refused to make eye contact with them. "That is the truth, doctor? Because you simply would not give me the time of day since I demanded an explanation yesterday morning," she said primly. He looked embarrassed.

"I do apologize, Mrs. Humphrey. It was not exactly something to be proud of, and to be honest I'd only suspected as much recently. Charles' heart attack confirmed my assumptions. The whole staff is on alert for whoever might have done this. Any suspicions will be immediately notified."

She did not look impressed or like she accepted his information in the least, but she still nodded in order to relieve him of some sort of stress. "No more questions, doctor," she said. He smiled tightly and walked past her.

"Your records and any other information you need will be at the receptionist desk for your convenience when you leave today, Mr. Bass." He left the room. Blair turned and looked at Chuck for the first time since the doctor had come in. He could tell very clearly in his face that it had nothing to do with their prior conversation.

"Do you think Jack had anything to do with this?" she asked.

"No," he said immediately. Lily said nothing. She seemed to be in a world of her own, running through everything that had just happened in her head. "Because first of all, Jack gets others do his dirty work, often people who are close to his intended target." He forced himself not to think of the disasters that his dirty uncle had involved himself and Blair in. He had to think about the _present_, not the mistakes and torturous acts of the past. "And secondly, Jack doesn't dabble in physical illness. It's mental, emotional, professional. He wouldn't be dumb enough to get on a suspect list for murder, even if he did want the whole of Bass Industries for himself."

"He wouldn't get it," Lily said. She sighed and turned to the two. "I don't know who did this to you, Charles, but we're getting you back to New York as soon as possible, and then hiring our own detectives so that this evil man gets what's coming to him." She paused, looking at the two with their widened eyes. She smiled a little. "We'll all go to dinner tonight, okay?" Blank stares that subtly nodded at her greeted Lily's eyes. "I don't want you spending another night in this tainted hospital where sick terrorists run around infecting youthful billionaires."

And with that she took a breath and strutted out of the room. The two stared after her for a long while before turning back to each other. Before Blair realized it, his hand was covering hers and he was looking at her sweetly, longingly, when she finally found his face. She pulled her hand away and everything inside him tightened with fear.

"I-I should go," she said crisply. He frowned as she stood to her feet, fear engulfing him. "I have to change," she said calmly. "For dinner."

"Right," he said, sounding a bit hazy. He watched her as she left the room and closed the door behind her. He had a very bad feeling that going back to New York was not going to be the start of a new beginning for them. Having someone trying to kill him on the loose was no doubt of very little encouragement regarding the situation.

…

A/N: Oh man, this took me FOREVER. But only b/c I was trying to work out the medical side of things so it would makes sense & be realistic. It seems what I'd written of his 'illness' thus far prevented much less physical damage than I'd hoped. *sigh* So, I return to scandal. Always a safe bet when it relates to Gossip Girl. ;p Please review! =D


	14. Impossible Escape

A/N: I really have been annoyed by my lack of motivation to write when I have so much inspiration. =( My last few recent fics I've started are not aching to be written right now, but I did feel the motivation when I thought about this story! =D So, here is your update. Hope you enjoy. Please review. ;p

*I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.

…

**Ch.13—Impossible Escape**

An expensive lawsuit followed the UESers journey home. The 'poisoner' was found sooner than expected. He was sent to a short term in prison for trying to murder the son of who was once one of the most successful billionaires in the world. The motivation was apparently based off of some sort of family matter involving healthcare. The whole situation was very quickly deal with, and hardly a month later things were settling back down to normal. At least as far as physical health went. Blair and Serena came home from Paris shortly after Chuck and the Bass-Humphreys did. Dan went to stay with Jenny and their mother for the rest of the summer, having not wanting to get anywhere close to Chuck when he was still angry. Rufus still didn't really know what had happened between the recently healed Bass boy and his baby girl, and Dan, being the 'good guy' he was, hadn't revealed the information quite yet.

Blair had ceased interacting with Chuck. It was harder when she returned to the city, but she still managed to. He didn't hunt her down either, so that made things somewhat less difficult. She felt unwanted, undesired by the action, but she knew she had been entirely too provoking in what caused it. The evening after his doctor informed them he was being poisoned, she didn't come to dinner. She found a quiet spot in the city and sat there until it was dark. Then, in the middle of the night she went to the hotel she'd been staying at with Serena, thankful that her best friend had gone to sleep at the hotel her mother, brother and step-father were staying. Blair gathered her things and boarded the first available flight to Paris. When the whole of them managed to find out where she was, it was only Serena who hunted her down and stayed with her, not asking questions, in the city of love.

It had been a month now since she'd left, three weeks since the two of them had made their way back to Manhattan. It had been torture to keep her mouth shut, but day after day Serena convinced herself that her best friend would come to her eventually, when she couldn't take it anymore. She herself had never seen Chuck and Blair tangled up in each other at the hospital in Prague, but she could feel in the subtle tension around Blair that there had been some serious investigating she should have taken before following her best friend back to Paris, or at least before coming home. Something had _happened_ in that hospital room, something life-changing, something that might have returned Chuck and Blair from separates back into a whole again.

She was spending the day with her best friend, as she'd done so often lately, ever since they'd gotten back from New York. The truth was that she was worried about her, so very much. Something had happened in that room. She didn't want to believe it, because she knew it meant something. Blair wouldn't act on it unless she was pushed, and without knowing exactly what had happened – a confession she could probably only get from Blair herself – it would be very hard to achieve anything. Now she was sitting on Blair's bed, waiting for her best friend to come out of her very large closet where she was arranging her newly bought dresses and shirts. She sighed as she walked out amongst the fabrics.

Serena looked up at her. "Something wrong, B?" she asked, concerned. She tilted her head to the side, wondering if the excessive shopping she'd suggested day in-day out had gotten to her yet.

"No," she said, shaking her head. She slumped down onto the edge of the bed.

"You don't look particularly happy for someone who just bought out half of Manhattan's most fashionable clothing." Blair smiled slowly at the comment and the tiny giggle that followed it. She looked up at her and noticed how her best friend's eyes dimmed.

"Thank-you," she said with a sigh. Serena's brows furrowed. "You know what I'm talking about, S." She rolled her eyes. The blonde of course did have a slight inkling that she knew what her best friend was talking about, but she needed confirmation first. She wasn't about to dive headfirst into concrete pavement.

Blair stealed herself for another breath. She knew she'd waited too long to open up. It was her own fault truly but that didn't mean it hadn't hurt this whole time. She wasn't used to Serena not prying, even a little. She needed her to pry this time. She lifted her eyes to the searching blue ones of her best friend's.

"Chuck and I…we didn't exactly leave on good terms."

"What do you mean?" she asked, probably looking as if she knew a world of secrets that she wasn't telling. It wasn't the truth, but it could be taken that way, especially by the way Blair was looking at her. She sighed. "I honestly don't know, Blair. I haven't been trying to get you to open up, because everything has been so hard for you ever since we left for Paris close to three months ago. I have no idea what went on between you and Chuck in that hospital."

Blair nodded and smiled hard. "We talked a lot," she said, lazily drawing circles on her bed comforter with her finger. "And I think…" she sucked in a breath. "I think we almost made up." She looked up when Serena gasped, covering her mouth with her had.

"Oh my god, B," she reached forward to cover her hand with her own. "What happened?" she whispered. Blair closed her eyes, willing tears not to well up in her eyes.

"I left," she said simply, her voice low. Uncertainty and tension floated around them again and Blair stole her hand away, let it support her closer to her own body. "I told him I hated him, and that I couldn't forgive him, and that I loved him," she sighed. Serena bit her bottom lip, sadness taking over her. She willed herself not to open up. "Then, we kissed and we held each other, and I didn't know what to do. Stupidly, I started thinking he had actually had feelings for Jenny," she scoffed and shook her head at her self.

"_B_," Serena said in disbelief.

"No, I know, I know, impossible," Blair said, punishing herself again for even thinking it. Her best friend pursed her lips and forced herself into silence again. "But the possibility seemed to completely consume me. I even asked him if he hated me." She looked up at Serena and chuckled in disdain. Serena looked at her sorrowfully. She looked away again. "Then the doctor came in, and when he left, I left, and I didn't come back, and…" she sighed, chuckled hatefully to herself. "Here we are."

Serena scooted forward, feared for a second that her best friend would pull away if she tried to hug her. But, instead of fury, Blair crumpled in her best friend's arms. She fell into her and sobbed, mumbling how she loved him, how she had forgiven him, even in that hospital room. He'd hurt her so bad. She'd said she couldn't forgive him. But something had happened and she had, but she wouldn't – _couldn't_ – let him know, and now she was breaking. Serena wanted to convince her to tell him, but in that moment she knew the only right she had was to hold her. It was late and so she did hold her_. I told you_ so was ringing in her mind, but she didn't dare so it out loud. It would be cruel. Because she _had_ warned Blair that her emotions would get riled up and she'd be hurt even more if she went to visit Chuck. But she hadn't listened. She'd gone. And now she was even more broken before. But the reason Serena had warned about was wrong. It wasn't because everything had gotten worse. It was because everything was nearly right and Blair was too scared to act on it. That kind of information needed serious rest and contemplation to figure out how to deal with. It clearly needed more than one night too since Blair had been unable to come to terms with a course of action in three weeks' time. So, eventually Serena just dragged Blair with her to the head of the bed and held her as she fell asleep. Hopefully the perfect solution would come to her in the morning.

….

"Eva."

She smiled at him, enthusiastic to be there. _Too enthusiastic_, he thought. She was hot. He had to give her that. Not who he'd usually pin down for a one-night stand, but since she was a _blind date_ he supposed he could manage. Although, after tonight he fully intended to _never_ allow Nate to set him up on one of these horrendous events ever again. This girl probably actually intended for him to call her again. The other girls he'd slept with in the past usually had a good grasp on the fact that all they'd have together would be hot, meaningless sex. Best intentions or not, Nathaniel had been out of his mind.

_"You've got to get over her, man," he said, chuckling at the sight of his best friend staring at a glass of scotch and not drinking from it. _

_ "Don't you have a black book to get back to?" Chuck suggested, sliding onto the bar stool in front of the glass and focusing more intently on the amber liquid. Nate shook his head, laughter brimming in his eyes. He came around to the bar and stood across from him, taking the glass away, drinking it himself and setting it underneath the bar. Chuck raised his gaze to him, glaring._

_ "What do you think of a blind date?"_

_ Chuck looked at him like he'd lost his mind. He was gawking. _

_ "Are you serious?" he asked, baffled by the question._

_ "I've got the perfect girl for you. She's blonde, super nice, has tons of etiquette—"_

_ Chuck scoffed, laughed, and shook his head. "You know me too well, Nathaniel," he muttered, rolling his eyes. "Let me guess, she also wears floor length skirts and long-sleeved shirts sewn up to her neck?" He raised an eyebrow. Nate laughed, but still slid a piece of paper with the girl's number on it across to him on the bar._

_ "Her name's Eva. Call her."_

_ He sighed._

_ "I'm not big on relationships, in case you haven't noticed," he informed him. Nate ignored the comment, though he knew very well he could throw his best friend's association with Blair Waldorf in his face._

_ "It's one thing you haven't tried," he told him, walking away from him across the room. Chuck smirked and held the slip of paper between two fingers. Nate was right. He'd never gone on a blind date by way of getting over a relationship, but he'd never had a relationship before Blair to begin with. Still, he had nothing to lose. He would take the risk._

"Yes?" she asked, looking up from her menu politely. He inclined his head towards the waiter standing before their table. She'd been so lost in looking at him but hoping he wouldn't notice for the last few minutes that she hadn't been aware of a single other thing happening around him. It was definitely more desperate than any other girl he'd been with. He was counting down the seconds till the date was over.

"You ready to order?" he asked, having already informed the waiter that all he was going to order was a simple scotch – and to keep them coming.

"Oh!" she said, sounding surprised – too surprised. When she turned towards the waiter to inform him of the Caesar salad she so desired to eat, Chuck rolled his eyes and looked away. He caught the eye of a different blonde at the bar, a really slutty one. Maybe she looked a little desperate, but she made it work. A one-night stand with her would keep his mind off of Blair far easier than this trying too hard Eva could any day. The only reason he wouldn't curse Nate out to hell and back when he returned to the suite would be if he landed that piece of ass playing eye-sex with him from the bar. He felt himself harden.

"Chuck?" He heard Eva beckon. Relunctantly he turned back to her and plastered on a fake smile. "Tell me where you grew up."

"In the city," he said, allowing himself to amuse her for awhile.

"Where in the city?" she inquired, taking a sip of her half-empty water glass.

"The Palace."

She smirked slowly. It was _almost_ cute. "That's ridiculous. The Palace is a…"

"Hotel," he finished for her. Now he was actually amusing himself a little. He leaned forward on his arms across the table. "How much _exactly_ did Nathaniel tell you?" he inquired, a smirk inevitably glued to his face. This girl had to be stupid not to know who he was.

"Nathaniel?" She looked confused. Tiny warning bells went off in his head, but he ignored them. He was having a little fun now.

"Nate?" he offered up. Her lips pursed and she shook her head a little, still confused. This girl either called Nate by a really strange name or he'd been officially screwed over by this date. For some reason his mind figured the latter was more likely. He was going to _kill_ Nathaniel. "Who told you about coming out on this date with me?" he asked point-blank. She looked a little rattled and he wondered if his temper was shining through. He shouldn't be that worked up.

"You did," she said, as if it were obvious. He sighed, very aggravated now.

"Excuse me," he said, getting up from his chair and fishing his phone out of his pocket. Eva frowned, but didn't move from her spot, just watched him. At this point, he didn't really care.

"Uh…uh…okay," she said, confused. He'd blocked her out by then though. He moved across the room until he found a more secluded, quieter place. He was about to press the button to call Nate when he noticed the blonde from the bar staring at him seductively again. He shut his phone and slid it back into his pocket. He strode over to her, stopping a waiter along the way to tell Eva that something came up, but if she wanted anything else to eat, she was welcome to order it and it'd be paid for. The waiter accepted the duty, not an unfamiliar one coming from Chuck Bass. It wasn't too upsetting that Eva might see him flirting with some tramp, instead of discussing _interesting_ (a.k.a. boring) topics with him in fine dining. But he had caught that she was abhorred by the very thought of a bar, so he found his chances of her finding him very unlikely.

"Ivy," the woman said, extending her hand once he was half on the bar stool. He smirked and took her hand in his own, placing a soft, lingering kiss on her knuckles. She didn't even flush, just maintained her sultry eye contact.

"Chuck Bass," he responded, settling himself on the stool. Briefly, he turned away and motioned to the bartender for another scotch. He was going to enjoy this one though, he thought.

"What are you doing here?" she asked casually. He raised his eyebrows. "Thought you'd be abroad all summer." His brows furrowed. He knew that people were quite aware of his comings and goings, but this woman sounded like a stalker almost. She seemed to catch onto his drift then because she smiled in understanding.

"My little sister reads Gossip Girl," she clarified. He lips formed an "o". "Apparently you're one of its leading roles." He smirked.

"Do _you_ read Gossip Girl?" he asked, seduction seeping into his tone. She leaned against the bar a little more, her breasts pushing together. She didn't seem bothered in the least when his gaze drifted south for a few tantalizing moments.

"I'm more about visuals," she said, "not really fond of _reading_." _Jackpot_, he thought. This girl was either a temptress or a stripper. Either he was willing to play with.

"Interesting."

"Can you _believe_ her? What a slut," she scoffed. His focus was momentarily diverted. Beside _Ivy_ he noticed a gorgeous brunette, pouty lips and arms folded across her chest. He blinked, watched her as she eyed the woman up and down. He would've gotten hard by the very action if he had not been so shocked that Blair was suddenly right before him and acting like this was nothing out of the ordinary.

"Blair?" he asked, slightly baffled. She looked at him.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Was I interrupting your little conversations with Mrs. Boobs?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. His lips parted in shock, slight mock-disgust and then an easy helpless smile. It was impossible to retract.

"I happen to _like_ sluts," he defended. She looked she was holding back some extreme laughter.

"Oh, I'm well aware, Mr. Bass." She came around and watched Ivy as he was doing. She was leaning forward, flirting, talking to him in the most seductive manner. In fact, he was returning those heated gestures. Slower than usual, but he was still responding in his typical Chuck Bass manner. It was then that he realized he was thinking about Blair again and _participating_ in his day dream, more than he was participating in his real life. _Again_.

"I had to act like one just to get your attention," she said, leaning her arm over his shoulder. He glanced at her, momentarily oblivious to what he was doing in reality.

"You knew what you were doing," he confirmed. She looked pleased by his confirmation, a sly smirk spreading across her face. It got him harder than that slut did in reality. But her face fell and he was plunged into regret and guilt for something he didn't even know he'd done. In this daydream state, it wasn't focused on current events in the least.

"But you don't want me now." She frowned. "You don't love me." Her lost eyes stared him down.

"That's not true," he insisted, his voice low and practically growling.

"It's not?" she countered, standing straight so she wasn't leaning on him and then moving in front of him to face him, stare him down. Then _fight_ for me."

He felt a hand gripping his upper thigh and it shook him from his day dream, from his vision of Blair. He looked down at the hand and followed the arm attached to it up until he met the face of the slut he'd been flirting with for the last five minutes. He was smirking he guessed, because so was she. From the way her fingers moved tentatively up his leg, he guessed he was on the verge of inviting her up to him room and pleasuring her in another attempt to forget about Blair. It was clear to him now though that she would never get out of his head, not even if he tried to screw another woman in the process. The thoughts he'd have then would probably successfully wound his ego and his reputation. He was sure they'd be distracting enough to affect his performance.

"I'm not in the mood," he said neutrally, pushing her hand away. Her brows furrowed but she didn't make any more advances. No doubt because she was a professional, he thought. But he didn't think on it another second. He stood to his feet, took one last gulp of his drink and left the bar. His limo was outside waiting for him, as was another tantalizing non-existent vision of Blair, leaning against the vehicle. He clenched his teeth in an act of willing himself to stop thinking about her, walked right through her when he entered the limo. Of course though, she was sitting on the seat beside him, wearing next to nothing. He groaned and placed his hands over his face. Arthur did not comment.

"You're too good for her, Chuck," she said. He turned to her visage and glared. "Don't look at me like that," she said, nearly scoffing again. "That girl was bound to have an STD." She shrugged.

He looked upwards in some sort of sign for help, but was only greeted by little Blairs hanging from the ceiling. He jumped involuntarily, and then heard the 'Blair' beside him laugh. It was official. He just needed to accept it. The reason he wasn't getting laid, wasn't getting a girlfriend, was because he could _not_ stop thinking about Blair. He wasn't over her and he didn't want to be. After all of their exchanges at the hospital, he knew it wasn't just him. Nothing about them was over. But he'd be damned if he let himself take the advice of his _dream Blair_.

"It's okay," he heard her say, stroking his thigh lazily. He turned his head towards her, cursed the fact that she had a cheery smile on her face when he was fighting an erection from a _daydream_. "I won't tell anybody." She smirked.

…

A/N: Hope you enjoyed. My motivation has been killer & nonexistent. I'm actually really surprised I even finished this today. *rolls eyes* If there was any confusion from the second part of the last scene, I was going off of the idea in _Friends_ when Rachel is contemplating whether or not to go after Ross when she's just learned he's in love with her. She's on this date with this random guy and then sees Ross and then starts having a conversation with him, but it's obviously all in her head, because after he kisses her, she snaps back to the actual conversation she's having with her pathetic date. Lol. That's the idea I was going off of. ;p Please review! (Oh, and yes, I have Eva in here, but she's obviously way different than how she's portrayed on the show b/c I started writing this before S4 & I had a different idea of her, though this wasn't exactly it…but, well, you'll see where I'm going with this. heheh. And also, I know the poisoning SL looks kind of anticlimactic, but have faith, it's not exactly over. ;))


	15. Nonsensical Agitation

A/N: Wow, I didn't realize the lack of reviews was because the last chapter sucked. I shall try to make amends.

*I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.

…

**Ch.14—Nonsensical Agitation**

They sat there because they were friends now. They had gotten over themselves. Chuck and Blair were fine – not really. And they were fine. That's why they were sitting in a limo across the street waiting to attack Chuck the second they saw him heading for the lobby.

"You do realize this is all your fault, right?"

He gave her an angry side glance and ignored her comment.

"I mean, if you hadn't suggested that he move on and that she's better off without him, Chuck might have actually fought for Blair instead of going back to his old ways."

Nate shifted a bit uncomfortably in his seat. Serena rolled her eyes and scoffed, crossing her arms across her best. One of her legs swung over the other and she averted her glance to the window. As had been the case the whole of summer, Chuck and Blair was their topic of discussion, and the anger that was drawn from it would only be intensified because of their own issues with each other.

Nate counted down the seconds until she'd explode on him again. He knew it wouldn't be long. She was only voicing the fury that had been burning inside him ever since they'd gotten back to New York. For some reason he'd come to the conclusion that Blair was better off without Chuck and vice versa. He had no clue on how things had gone between them, not even before Chuck had his heart attack. Blair hadn't said a thing. But the confusing, saddened way the two brunettes had come home – the fact that Blair had gone back to Paris first with Serena – just sent off warning bells to him. He needed to either find a way for them to get together, to make it work, or he had to keep them apart. Keeping them apart wouldn't be too difficult he gathered. Ever since coming back neither one had even attempted to approach the other. It occurred to him that it might have been because Chuck wasn't succeeding in going back to his old ways – no doubt but he couldn't get over Blair, even if he didn't say it – and he, Nate Archibald, the "good guy", kept setting him up in situations where he'd fail. When one-night stands didn't work, he'd arranged for a blind date. And now he was coming to scold him for going on the date _he'd_ personally set-up. The brunette was probably confused and frustrated beyond belief.

"It took her a month to finally break down. It can't be that bad," he shrugged. He knew it wasn't the truth, but he couldn't think of anything else that might justify his behavior. Everything he'd used to justify himself in his head had seemed perfectly logical and good, but it didn't match what he'd stood for at all before coming home and he was starting to realize that. Serena's deadly glare confirmed that assumption loud and clear. Her jaw drop that ended in a scoff told him he had about point zero seconds to explain himself without sounding like a complete jackass.

"Are you _serious_?"

And he missed it. He swallowed hard, trying and failing to ignore a furious Serena shaking her head and no doubt on the verge of exploding. She was being oddly patient, he thought, for someone who'd just come from a sobbing, now asleep, Blair Waldorf because of her heartbreak that she thought she'd caused.

"You realize she's blaming herself, right?" she spat. His eyes flashed to hers. "She thinks it's _her_ fault because she left and he didn't come after her." He looked long and hard at her, but couldn't seem to form any words. "If you don't want me to castrate you, now would be the time to speak."

"Chuck has a mind of his own!" he nearly shrieked helplessly. "He didn't have to listen to me." Serena looked to the ceiling in disbelief and placed her elbow roughly on the base of the window. "Besides, you didn't even want them to be together to begin with." She turned to him instantly.

"_Excuse_ me?" she asked, in a voice so low and dark he thought it would slice his head right off.

"You were very against her leaving Paris to see Chuck in the hospital." She gaped. "Or…am I wrong?" he asked with mock-gasp. She picked up her purse and hit him hard over the head with it. "Ow!" His hand immediately flew to his head.

"I was not the _only_ one who was against it." He was still rubbing his head to really consider what she had just said. "You were against it too. And we – meaning _both_ of us – just didn't want her to be any more heartbroken than she already was." He sighed, her words starting to register.

"He doesn't deserve her," he muttered. He looked up at her gaping mouth again. He wondered if her face would be permanently stuck in that expression. "I was just trying to do them a favor by putting things back to the way things were." Serena blinked at him in disbelief. "It made sense in my mind! _Especially_," he adjusted himself in his seat, suddenly feeling a bit more grounded in his beliefs. "since she didn't come home right away. She clearly didn't want to be with him anymore. She tried it and she couldn't even come home when Chuck did. Doesn't exactly inspire letting him get near her. He was only going to hurt her."

"And so sending him to strip clubs and random blind dates was going to _fix_ the problem? Didn't you consider for _one second_ that Blair might be _bothered_ by that?"

He blinked, realizing slowly that he hadn't thought about that. In his head, keeping Blair from breaking even further was to keep Chuck away from her. In return, getting Chuck on solid ground was to push him back into what he knew. Numbness usually sealed him over, at least for awhile. By the time that wore off Blair would probably be over him and he could just accept it.

"Well, obviously you didn't," she muttered, shaking her head again.

"Chuck has a mind of his own," he ground out, wondering how long he could repeat the fact. "He could have dismissed my suggestions completely." Serena's face flashed to his again.

"Oh yeah, because he was _so_ stable in letting Blair even come near him in Prague. I'm sure the fact that you telling him her coming back late meant that she didn't have feeling for him and in fact _hated_ him didn't inspire his actions whatsoever."

"If he had really wanted her, he could have fought for her. I may have _suggested_ he do what he usually does to move on with his life, but I never once stopped him from going after Blair, and he never said he was going to do it anyways." The feeling of confidence rose in him again. "You and I _both_ know there's no point in stopping Chuck and Blair once they have a goal in mind. I couldn't have stopped him if I'd wanted to."

Serena collapsed back onto the chair, knowing she could not dismiss that logic. Her mind desperately searched for more evidence that she could lash out at Nate with, but he spoke up and his arm flew out in front of her face before she could say another word.

"Look!" he whispered hurriedly. She blinked a few times to gather her surroundings again and then turned her head to see what he was pointing at. Blair Waldorf in all her glory was walking in through the Empire entrance doors. Serena gasped.

"She was sleeping when I left," she whispered. Nate could not take his eyes off of her form, but he blindly reached for the door handle on his side. Serena must have sensed his movement because she grabbed hold of his hand suddenly. He looked down to their clasped hands and then up into her eyes.

"It would hardly be smart to let Blair know we'd been waiting outside for Chuck across the street." Nate's brows furrowed momentarily but comprehension dawned and he pulled his hand away from the door. Their hands unknowingly stayed clasped.

"Right," he agreed, relaxing – though still somewhat tense – in his seat.

…

Her hands were shaking. When she'd woken up without Serena beside her she'd known something was up. The blonde hadn't been talking to Nate anymore than she'd been interacting with Chuck, but it was still a probable solution as to what had caused her sudden disappearance. Normally with meltdowns like she'd just had a little over an hour ago Serena would have simply fallen asleep next to her, with her. The fact that she'd gone was extremely suspicious. It just wouldn't be done for the sake of partying or something of that nature.

The possibility that it had something to do with Chuck was extremely unlikely, but it inspired her to do something about the state of things as it were with that certain brunette. She'd held up her façade long enough. It wasn't that she had any proof whatsoever that he still meant something to her. The constant Gossip Girl posts of him at brothels was not exactly encouraging. They'd left things pretty unsettled in Prague. He'd been about to tell her whether he had or had not had feelings for Little Jenny Humphrey when they'd slept together. His facial expression accompanied with the panic and confusion and surprise in his eyes should have told her the answer, but it would have been nice for him to say the words. Her not even staying for dinner that night was hardly a smart idea on her part, but suddenly everything had just become too much. They'd been comfortable with each other, confessed – discussed – things, and then suddenly Chuck was being poisoned. Right after witnessing his violent heart attack, it just seemed too much. She'd stayed for the lot of it, but she had to get out of there. She had to be Chuckless for awhile. She just wished he hadn't been so _okay_ with that decision. She thought he would have fought for her a little and not just pretend as if nothing had happened between them during those endless hours in his hospital room.

So, she was finally going to confront him. She'd spent enough time wallowing in self-pity. If he was officially done with her, she needed to hear it from his own mouth, despite how much it was no doubt going to hurt. If he was only lounging around with strippers because he thought she was done with him and there was no way in hell he could ever fix them, then he could work with that. They could start over somehow. It was ridiculous that she had to be the one to initiate things, but it wasn't like that was anything new. If Chuck thought he wasn't worthy of her – especially after he'd done something horrible – he would most likely back off.

After everything that had happened, she would obviously still harp on him if he used that as an excuse for not fighting for her. Still, it justified her reasons for bursting through the Empire lobby and heading straight for the elevator – penthouse suite. None of the receptionists or other staff tried to stop her. Not only did she look like a very _fierce_ woman on a mission, but she was well known in the place. Everyone was familiar with her. In the past she'd sometimes even ordered they do certain things. Chuck had often allowed her to play co-pilot. He'd trusted her.

It was most unfortunate that after her fidgety ride up in the elevator, the penthouse had turned out to be empty. Not even Nate was there. The place was practically pitch-black besides the dull lighting sparkled in occasional places across the room. She sighed, but still walked further into the suite, the clicking of her heels being the only sound echoing throughout the entire place. It made her feel lonely and cold, despite the perfect warm temperature surrounding her. She contemplated going to the bar to get a drink but decided against it. If Chuck had gone out to pick up girls, and Nate with him, she didn't want to be around when the sluts tumbled in after them at probably two in the morning.

She moved in the opposite direction of the bar, heading straight for Chuck's room. She hadn't been there since it had happened. She knew the sheets obviously couldn't be stained from the mess that had been Chuck's one-night stand with Jenny, and she'd had so many wonderful memories on that bed – besides sex despite what other people might claim – it felt wrong to leave without seeing it.

She entered the room, and to her relief the bed was actually made up. Obviously the maid service had come and gone after both boys had left the suite. That gave her some reassurance. She moved across the space till she came to the bed. She hesitated for a long while but then sat down on it. She smoothed her hand across the covers, shivering from the feel of it, her mind drifting back to wonderful memories. She could almost _feel_ Chuck's arm wrapped around her waist, the feel of him peppering kisses in her hair. It made her tense up when she opened her eyes because everything was so very different now.

She lay down across the bed, her legs dangling off the edge, her feet a few inches from the ground. After a long while just staring up at the ceiling, swearing she saw their names written in the pristine paint, she turned over on the bed and realized that a red light was blinking on the room phone. Chuck hardly got calls on that phone. People called or texted him on his cell, unless they were from the front desk, but those people did not leave messages most often. They just called until he picked up. It wasn't too urgent most of the time, and if it was, even _they_ used his cell.

She frowned, sat up and scooted across the bed until she reached the far side of the bed by the phone. She reached over and pressed the button to play the message. She waited for the annoying operator voice to finish her little pre-speech on how many calls and left messages had been made that day. The following voice cut her heart to shreds all over again.

_"Hi Chuck, this is Eva. I had a great time with you at dinner tonight. We should do it again sometime. I'd love to hear from you. Call me…"_

Suddenly she felt very nauseous. She knew he'd basically slid back into his old routine of sluts 24/7, but dating other girls was another thing entirely. The thought made her crack. The possibility that he might actually be feeling things other than lust for another girl, another woman, completely broke her. She didn't know if she could even stand up, but she knew she needed to. Because she _had_ to get out of that place. _Right now_. Before Chuck came back. And then she really _wouldn't_ want to see him _ever_ again. Because if he could move on so quickly, then so could she. It was now more obvious than ever that he wouldn't be heartbroken if she did.

…

A/N: Omg. Just heard the worst spoiler EVER. Apparently Chuck is going to have a new love interest in the second half of the season. *groans* I feel like I'm going to die. And you can most definitely count on a one-shot (or maybe a three-shot?) based off of that, and maybe the DS union that's been rumored about. *cries* Why God? Why? *suffering sigh* But anyways, lol, hope this chapter was more to your enjoyment. =) More realistic anyways…


	16. A Little Catch'n Mouse

A/N: Another chapter so soon? Yes. Usually I'd wait a few days for reviews to pile up, but I'm just going to go out on a whim here and hope you'll still all review every chapter. I just really want to get started on the D/B/C/OC fic I've got brewing in my head inspired by those awful new spoilers, but I don't want to have like ten fics on my to-do list. So, since this one & HMftT are almost through, I'm finishing those ASAP, so I can start this newone. My fic priorities (in case you're wondering) are currently as follows:

1-_Gunfire Won't Kill_; _Hide Me from the Truth_

2-_Memorize My Body_; _Wanted_ (both of these fics have to do with future SLs on the show that I want to follow pretty closely, so they may not be updated too much until I have a better grasp on the general direction these SLs will be headed in)

3-_Prove It_; _Hunted Desire_;_ Mystic Falls_ – these I've only really just started & aren't involved with the current SLs at all/very AU, so they won't be addressed for awhile…

4-_The Edge_; _Flashback_; _Parallels_ – these fics are either pretty irrelevant now or just aren't getting many readers these days (with the exception of _Flashback_, which is pretty much just hated XD), but I still want to finish them. So, they're on the backburner, but definitely not permanently abandoned. Heh.

*And of course my soon-to-be newest fic which will be based off of future D/B/C/OC spoilers. It will take immediate precedence as soon as I have finished GWK & HMftT.

Any other questions on my fics and when I'm updating? Please don't hesitate to ask. =) And also, if you're really dying for an update on any particular story – even if it's out of order of how I'm currently updating things – you have only to ask, and chances are I'll take a detour to quickly update that story.

Please review & enjoy this chapter!

…

**Ch.15—A Little Catch'n Mouse**

The sight of Blair Waldorf fleeing the elevator hardly before it had opened was not anything at all like he'd imagined coming back to his hotel would be like. The fact tears were flying down her cheeks and she was nearly teetering off her heels sent a chill panic through him. He quickly strode over to her, even just to make sure she didn't fall over. He'd been a bit hazy in how things were between them, but he couldn't imagine any other reason in the world for her to be at the Empire if it hadn't been to see him. He didn't think him just not being there would send her into a crying fit, but he wasn't about to just stand there in the middle of the lobby trying to figure out how exactly the situation had concocted itself.

"Blair," he said quickly, grabbing hold of her arm, so she would stop moving. She did abruptly but only till she saw who was now holding her still. Her eyes were ice fire when she looked at him. She became very vicious then, making every and all attempt to get away from him. "Hey, hey." Both of his hands came around and held her arms to her sides. "Hey," he said again, hoping his tone of voice would soothe her enough to have a decent conversation with him. She had stopped moving around so fiercely but her eyes still looked deadly when she looked up at him. He stared into those deep brown depths, wondering if something in her would break enough so he could hold her and take her upstairs, so he could find out what the hell was going on – besides the fact that they hadn't spoken in a month. Something told him that was not a good enough reason for her to be fleeing his hotel crying her eyes out. _Though, what the hell did he know?_ _He'd only had a taunting Blair vision for his companion for the past thirty days._

"Get off me," she said darkly. He didn't release her any, but his brows furrowed a little and his gaze grew more intensely in her eyes. The silence between them felt like an eternity.

"Blair…" She started to struggle again. "Why are you here?" he asked quickly, sounding both mystified and incredibly curious. He was so eager for the answer that his grip even loosened and she stepped away from him. She huffed, regaining her breath.

"I came to do what you were too much of a coward to do the second I came back."

He felt himself get hot and he swallowed hard. He didn't know how he felt about that, didn't even know if an apology would cut it. In fact, he knew an apology wouldn't cut it and so when she stared at him half daring him to answer half threatening to leave regardless, he said nothing. She took a few more steps back and turned to leave.

"Blair, wait—" He reached for her again, knowing that if he let her leave his chances of getting her back were slim to none, not when she'd taken that huge leap of faith and come herself, and then he hadn't even been there. There was _something else_. He knew it with all of his being and it frustrated him to no end, but it was clear that she wasn't going to inform him of anything new, and he couldn't take the time to figure it out with her standing there on the verge of leaving, maybe forever.

"Stay the hell away from me."

He halted, frozen to the spot. It was a threat he'd heard before, one that should not have bothered him so much, but it did. It didn't impact him as much as her teary demands some months earlier after she'd just learned about Jenny with Dan and the little blonde herself as witnesses. But it did create a horrible flaming tension in him. He felt like he was losing touch with everything, but the second he heard the door close after she'd left, he turned and headed straight for the elevator. The only possibility was that something in his suite had set her off. If that wasn't it, he was going to go through hell trying to figure out what was.

New elevators needed to be put in, he decided. They opened, closed, rode up, and opened far too slowly. The heat and air conditioning clearly needed to be fixed as well because he felt stifling hot inside the shaft and completely frozen once he stepped out into the suite. _Where the hell was Nate?_ He dismissed the matter in a desperate attempt to find whatever had scared Blair away. Everything appeared as it had been when he'd left earlier that night. He turned on the lights further so that he could see everything in the room clearer. That didn't change things as he'd hoped.

There were no clothes flooding the floors or empty scotch glasses or bottles. There was no left over lingerie or anything remotely close to a sign that his little black book – which Nate had taken over – was being used. There wasn't even a tie or a shedded jacket on the floor, no pants either. He sighed, stressed over the fact that he wasn't getting any answers. He moved down the hall towards his bedroom. It was the only place left he felt Blair would have actually searched him out, though he did intend to inspect Nate's bedroom and the bathroom just to be sure.

He knew when he'd stepped inside the room, seen the slightly rumbled covers suggesting someone had moved across the top of the bed and the direction it moved…towards the other side where the phone was still blinking with its cursed annoying red light. He knew what had happened. He walked over to the phone that only blinked once every so often instead of continuously, signifying that it had been listened to but it had not been commanded to delete or save. He held his breath as he pressed play and listened to the message. His eyes closed in barely controlled rage and aggravation. He was going to kill Nate for giving that annoying girl his phone number. Though, even if he wouldn't admit it, it was probably his own fault for not allowing his cell phone number be used instead. The room phone _was_ suspicious, he had to admit. He would have been drawn to it too.

He deleted the message and his fists clenched. He was very tempted to hit the wall but resisted, remembering what it'd been like to punch Jack the year before. As much as fierce emotions needed to be released, containing them was usually a smart idea when it came to the possibility of physical pain.

"_Damn it_," he muttered, trying to forget the message. He stormed out of the room and headed for the elevator. "Arthur," he barked into his cell just before entering the shaft. He did not wait for the man to respond. "Bring the limo around. I need to get to the Waldorf's immediately."

…

Looking put together and strutting up the stairs to her bedroom could only look normal for so long. It was impossible to fool Dorota. She'd been there the whole time, had heard her so very rushed motion fleeing up the stairs, could almost feel how wet her face was becoming with tears. She'd been drowning in Chuck Bass for so long. Almost everything wonderful or hateful was caused by him, because of him. She'd fallen in love with him and she'd never fallen out, not even when she'd wanted to. It was her curse, and maybe sometimes her blessing. But not now. Now she just wanted to die.

"Miss Blair?"

She gasped and then groaned, not wanting to have to deal with anybody, much less explain the situation to her ever doting maid. She rubbed at her eyes but continued to face away from the door, leaning her head against the side of her bed where she sat on the floor.

"I'm fine, Dorota," she called out with stifled sobs. For a few lingering moments she didn't hear anything and then padding feet came up behind her and she knew it would be no use to deny it any longer. She turned towards her maid who was looking down at her with sweet sympathetic eyes. "Really," she said, breathing unevenly.

"Miss Blair, you not okay," she said softly, tucking a curl behind her ear. She sunk down onto the floor and held her mistress against her. "What matter?" she asked, though she well knew who had caused her so much stress. She was very hesitant to mention his name, but saying nothing only put heated, uneasy tension between them. Blair swallowed hard.

"It's…Chuck," she said on a sigh. Dorota pursed her lips, holding her tongue until she was done spilling her heart out, just like she'd been waiting for her to do ever since she'd come home from overseas. "He's…well…" she sighed again. It was so much harder to voice her thoughts than she'd thought it'd be. "He's…" she grumbled. "dating again."

Dorota gasped despite herself. "But he no—"

"Yes, yes, Dorota, I know. He's supposed to be fighting for me," she mocked herself, sounding quite irritated. Her breath caught in her throat then and she hiccupped, falling back on her maid's chest. "What's wrong with me?" she asked quietly.

"Nothing, Miss Blair!" Dorota nearly shouted, beyond shocked. She held her closer and Blair buried her nose into the fabric of her maid's dress. Dorota rocked her for a little until her little princess's breathing had calmed. When she was nearly asleep, she started to stand, planning on carrying Blair the short distance to her bed and tucking her in. It was getting late. That was when the elevator bell dinged.

Blair's eyes fluttered open and she moaned. "Dorota…"

"Shh," she said quietly. "I go see who it is. You go back to sleep." She gentle kissed her on the forehead and tucked her into her bed. Blair closed her eyes again and settled into the pillow.

"Blair!"

Her eyes flung open and she gasped, shooting up to a sitting position. Dorota had stilled too in her walk towards the door. Without looking back at her mistress, she started charging out the door.

"No, wait!" she called out to her, flinging the covers off of her to stop the maid before she had made it to the banister. Dorota was relentless in her plight to get to Chuck and give him a piece of her mind.

"But Miss Blair—" she finally managed. Blair cut her off, placing her hand over her mouth. She shook her head.

"No," she whispered. Dorota slowly relaxed though there was a distinct tension that Blair knew wouldn't be disposed of for awhile. She didn't ask any more questions, and Blair knew now there was no going back. She had stopped Dorota because she had wanted to talk to Chuck, to face him on her own. After how she'd left him, the only thing she should have wanted was to keep him as far away from her as possible. It wasn't as if it would be something new for her to request her doting maid to keep a brooding boy in the foyer and then eventually out the door.

But something in her wanted to hear what he had to say. It was the first time he had come to her, the first time since he'd propositioned her in that so very romantic way to meet him at the top of the Empire State Building. She bit her lip softly and gestured for her maid to go make herself useful _elsewhere_…_upstairs_.

"You can do this, you can do this, you can do this," she repeated to herself in a steady whisper. She took a few deep breaths, briefly took a look in the mirror, but when she heard him call for her again with his Blair, are you there she knew she couldn't delay another second. She put her heart out on her sleeve with all its satiny ribbon and stepped out onto the top landing of the stairs. Chuck turned around at the sound of her pattering feet heading towards him. He had flowers in his hands, an apology in his eyes as he opened his mouth to speak.

"Blair."

….

A/N: Second scene should've been longer, but my motivation died again. *sighs & shakes head* Anyways, review! ;p

***Elena H** – your PM responding capability is turned off, because I can't respond to your messages on here. Fix that or send me an e-mail (which should be available on my profile). I'd looooooove to respond to it & discuss all the loveliness that is those horrible recent CB spoilers. Lol. (which, strangely enough I have come to peace with a little, heh)


	17. She's Unexpected

A/N: I've added another chapter in my outline. XD ha. Please review. ;p

*I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.

…

**Ch.16—She's Unexpected**

_He was two steps from circling around his bed, two beats away from doing what he should have done the second he'd come back to New York – circumstances, insecurities, history be damned. But the phone rang, and on instinct he picked it up. That was his mistake. He hardly ever picked up the phone, and he certainly shouldn't have this time, not when he was on such a dire mission to reclaim the woman he loved for the billionth time. But he was right there and his hand flew to the device before he could stop himself, before he could think thoroughly through the act at all._

_"Hello?"_

_"Chuck?" The excited, innocent voice was all too familiar. He wished he wasn't familiar with it, he really did. But Nate would give him a smack-down if he just blew the girl off. He would only take such liberties if she got stalkerish – because that was _his_ territory, no one else's. P.I.s had been invented because they'd heard he was coming._

_"Who is this?" he asked, going for apologetically forgetful. She laughed at his put on ignorance. He sighed away from the phone receiver, inwardly groaning. Nate was going to pay for setting him up on a blind date with a _blonde_._

_"It's Eva," she laughed a little. He rolled his eyes. "Remember, we had dinner together tonight? Well, almost—"_

_"Oh yes, of course, I remember." The façade was horrible even to his own ears. If this girl was buying it she was even more stupid than he'd first realized. Well, that wasn't entirely true. He hadn't found her stupid until now. She had just been boring…and too _good_._

_"So, what came up?" she asked politely._

_Strangely, he became speechless. "I…uh…" His mind was blank. He couldn't think up a damn excuse for the life of him._

_"Or, maybe the better question is, when should we get together again? You know, maybe with something that doesn't involve food? Obviously that did not appeal to you tonight. Though of course I'm open for that if you want to try again."_

_She was smiling. He couldn't see her, but somehow he just knew she was smiling. It shone through every single word and how she said it, in what tone, pitch, volume level. It was all there. She was practically standing in front of him smiling, and he didn't even have a hint of laughter from her to figure it out. Once again it rendered him speechless, but damn if he'd let her turn him into a bumbling idiot again. He was _Chuck Bass_ for crying out loud. The only people that had ever made him this incoherent were his deceased father and Blair, the latter of which he needed to be going to. Pronto. _

_Blair. Focus. Get off the phone._

_He shook his head and gathered together a quick, easy plan. "Listen, Eva, it wasn't the food that made me leave early, it was you." Harsh much, Bass_?_ He ignored that. "I'm really sorry, but I'm afraid it's just not going to work out between us." _

_The shocked silence wounded him a little. He swore he could actually hear some sniffling and tears on the other end. He didn't think he was capable of causing that kind of a response over half a date. Then again, he'd never really dated anyone other than Blair, and those he had seduced had been so not like…this._

_"I will of course be more than happy to grant you another free meal at whichever restaurant of your choosing to compensate for my lack of…interest." He hoped that sounded promising. Probably not. Made it sound like he could buy anything and anyone off with his money, even this pathetic desperate too good too excited hopeless girl. His best friend really shouldn't have entrusted her to him. The only reason Blair survived interacting with him was because she was just as bad as he was. He smirked at the thought. _

_"So, no date?" she asked. It sounded like she was starting to get angry. He knew the telltale signs of those. He was pretty sure she didn't have a vicious overprotective older brother from Brooklyn – she also was no doubt of legal age, still, some precautions he just couldn't afford to live without. _

_"I'm afraid not." He was even smiling politely, pursing his lips apologetically where he stood, and going from recent past experience, she had to believe what he was saying._

_"You'll be sorry," she ground out roughly. His brows narrowed instantly. Confusion and slight fear threatened to swamp over him. He was about to ask her what she meant, though he knew not to take it as anything more than a young girl scorned from a bad date. But the line went dead. He pulled the phone away from his ear, looked at it strangely and put it back down on its stand. He shook his head, ridding himself of the experience for the time being. Two steps out of his bedroom and he was already thinking about Blair again, dwelling on her, planning what he would say to her and the need that it would be perfect._

_This "Eva" was hardly a threat to him. Just an innocent girl scorned. She'd get over it. He already had. The entire conversation had gotten packed up and stored away in the very depths of his mind by the time he reached the elevator._

"Did you misinterpret my screaming at you to _stay the hell away_?" she asked politely, her fingers skimming the railing as she gracefully descended the staircase. She stopped at the second step to the bottom. "Because I'm pretty sure I told you to leave me alone." She folded her arms across her chest. "After which I left you standing alone in your despicable hotel."

_He deserved it_, he told himself. It was definitely bruising his ego, but he would not lash back at her in a similar manner. That would just get him straight back into the elevator, probably by force of Dorota – and maybe security.

"Good. You're home."

She shook her head at him, fire shooting out her eyes at the thought that he could even think he could slide past everything he'd put her through and just have a normal conversation.

"Well, if I'd known you'd come after me, I'd probably have made it just a bit more difficult, but, I haven't really been aware of what that feels like lately, so I thought I'd take a risk."

He took a deep breath and walked towards her, halting at the bottom step. She was being snappy and bitchy and it probably wasn't a good thing that he was semi-turned on and the only reason he wasn't was because both their hearts were at stake…but he couldn't help himself. She was so god-damned hot when she was chewing him out. Her body always looked so incredibly cool and collected, yet there was a subtle tension that made her nipples rise to attention and on the normal occasion would cause hate-sex to erupt at any moment. He very much liked that ever consistent fact.

But this time it wouldn't be like that. He brushed all his hormones aside and focused solely on the matters at hand. He relaxed, reached out to grab her hands – _three_ _times_ because she kept snapping them away – and squeezed gently. He looked into her cold, desolate eyes and spoke with such sincerity even he was surprised at himself.

"I'm sorry, Blair," he said deliberately, their hands swaying just a bit with every word he said. "I'm sorry I didn't come after you. I'm sorry I got shot and worried you have to death. I'm sorry I nearly sold you in exchange for my stupid hotel."

Her eyes softened in a shocked stillness. It took him awhile to realize it hadn't been at his apologies, but at the words in between – the expressions, how he apologized for getting himself shot because she'd been so worried, for condemning his hotel because it'd meant losing her, and beneath the blind-sighted mask that had been draped over every aspect of his nature…that was the last thing he had wanted.

He saw the desire in her to get angry, to make him pay further for what he'd done to her, and he was determined – even if by some miracle she'd decided to suddenly forgive him – to make himself pay. Because he shouldn't get off so early. He'd apologized in some creative ways but that was enough. He knew it, and deep down he was certain she knew it too.

"Your apologies don't make everything all better."

_Then again, maybe he had underestimated her ability to remain unforgiving towards him._

He steeled himself for another breath. His feet shifted and his eyes stayed steady on her unyielding gaze. "What will make it better, Blair?" he asked softly.

She stepped down to the final step so that she was just an inch or so above the top of his head. She looked down at him. "If you leave me alone," she said sternly. It was as if they were in a staring contest and a mere blink would disqualify them from the world Olympics.

"Tell me you don't love me, and I'll leave you alone forever." His eyes were deadly.

"I don't love you," she said. Then, on a whisper, "not anymore". For the first time she looked away. He studied her face. The kick in his gut was almost overwhelming but he refused to give up. He had gotten his act together completely and had finally come to the conclusion that fighting and having her would be better for both of them than leaving her alone to heal from a broken heart. Only he could heal that broken heart, and not by staying away.

He took a single step towards her, all he could take since they were already so close. Then, he turned and stepped up that bottom step. He was so close to her she could hardly breathe. He was having great trouble with his balance, though it was subtle in appearance because their emotions were so great, and despite his allowing her words to force him to leave, he was so very far from doing so.

She turned a fraction of a second after him, felt a little constricted because she didn't want to fall, but now she could find no strength to flee from him.

"W-What are you doing?" she breathed too fast, gasping when he turned just a little more, now directly in front of her, their bodies almost touching.

"I don't believe you," he said. The determination in him was frightening. She stole herself for some sort of logical defense.

"If you're going to say my eyes don't match my mouth…" she began, mustering anger and irritation into her voice. Miraculously he leaned in closer still so he was breathing the same air she exhaled.

"It's dangerous of you to be mentioning your mouth when we're in this compromising position," he said, his face slipping into a smirk. He'd found his edge, was well aware of her both emotional and physical attraction and attachment towards him. Even hurtful words could not drive him away.

"I don't love you," she said again, though this time her voice was shaky. He didn't poke fun or point out her weakening spirit. He smiled a little though. When she'd said the words initially he'd felt as if he'd been shot all over again. But, scorned as she was, he hadn't put her through anything nearly as awful as before. He'd hurt her again, and he hated himself for that, but he couldn't dwell on it or he'd leave her again, and what she needed now was to be fought for. He knew her well. She could not beat him down too much while they were so close.

"Ah," he breathed against her lips, "if only I could believe you." His mouth finally covered hers, and the hands she'd pressed against his chest in the moment to push him away were now clenched in the fabric of his shirt, pulling him closer. One of his hands wrapped around her waist, pulling her just as equally close, and his other hand thrust into her hair.

"Blair," he breathed against her, thrilling in how her arms wrapped around his back and her head tucked into the crook of his neck as his lips found her throat and peppered kisses. "_Blair_," he said again, whispering the sweetest nothings against her skin. "I won't let you do what I've done. I won't let you run away…for whatever reason."

She pulled away and looked into his eyes, framing his face in her hands. He saw that she was afraid, and he didn't blame her. He knew it wouldn't be real if she suddenly took back her declaration of not loving him. He didn't want her to even if it was. He wanted to _fight for her _.

"Tell me to leave," he dared her, his expression serious and his eyes full of mischief. Her eyes were full of mystery and uncertainty. She was so unsure about all the things she knew were completely fool-proof. Her eyes were welling with tears. It was very clear to him that finding words now was not going to happen, not to her, no matter what vantage point he chose to take – apologetic, teasing, romantic. It was only after her hands had gripped the back of his neck and pulled his mouth back to hers for more demanding kisses that he realized he had lost some focus.

…

When she opened her eyes the next morning, the only proof she had that the night before hadn't happened was the blank ceiling above her head. Because when she sat up and looked across the room, she saw the infamous Chuck Bass curled up into a ball and shivering on the floor in the middle of her bedroom. She felt a little bad for him then, because he reminded her so very much of a child left out in the cold. But a lot of her was just plain awed because of how he'd lowered himself. The last time they'd been in a similar predicament – one that required space at least – he'd waited probably no more than five minutes after she'd fallen asleep to slide up on next to her on the bed. When they'd gone to bed what must have been nine hours ago, she hadn't known what to do with him. She didn't have enough strength to demand he leave, or to even get Dorota to make him leave. His passionate kisses had left her still tingling from head to toe and very weak at the knees. The possibility of him leaving after such exquisite pleasure just seemed _mean_.

_No doubt a part of his plan_, she'd figured, but at the moment it was one she was fully willing to allow take place.

What had happened felt perfect. For everything he'd done to her, he had no right to be treated the way she was treating him. But she wanted him so much that she couldn't help but give in a little. Despite how he'd left her hanging when she'd run off again, and how broken she'd somehow even _more_ become, he _had_ come back to her. And that meant a _lot_ considering. Granted, it was probably only brought on because she'd wished his life to hell right in front of him where they stood in his _glorious_ hotel. But she decided to ignore that fact. He looked too cute, seeking for warmth even in his sleep. And he'd _stayed on the floor_, _slept_ on the floor, when he could have gone home or to the couch downstairs, or even tried to sleep next to her. She doubted if she would have been so bitchy when she woke up with him wrapped around her in the morning like before.

She flipped the covers off herself lightly after she'd sat up to a sitting position on her bed. She slid into warm slippers beside her night table and then walked over to him on the floor. She squatted beside him and pushed a few locks of silky brown hair off his closed lids. He shivered, his face moved from side to side slightly and then pushed against her fingers so in a moment she was involuntarily cupping his face. Butterflies rippled throughout her entire body at the subconscious affection for her he had. It made her heart sore. She sighed lightly, feeling in a very romantic atmosphere inside her head. She felt warm. His eyes opened at the sound of her sigh. He blinked a few times and then focused his gaze in on her. She smiled slightly.

She knew they needed to have _the talk_. It was true he'd done a great deal of talking when he'd come over the night before. He'd apologized – for everything. He'd said all the right words, even if it was the wrong timing and place. He'd begged, and pleaded, and wanted nothing but for her to be happy. Somewhere in the back of her head she knew that was probably enough, but they still had that conversation back in Prague to finish. She knew her insecurities were ridiculous at this point and his recent fighting for her should have quelled all that. But she was so fragile, and that was the only reason she was holding back the small part of her heart she'd been able to retrieve from him – or so she thought.

But thinking about all this was too hard. Especially when the option of pretending everything after Serena's car crash had never happened was out on the table. Then, it could be just them again. They could be happy, could enjoy the holidays, could plan for their future, one which hopefully would eventually end in marriage. Her heart swelled whenever she thought of it. Secretly at the end of every day she ran through her head every possible scenario she could think of as to how he would have proposed. Every day she came up with more scenarios. She wondered if he would have gotten down on one knee at the Empire if Dan hadn't interrupted them. She wondered how the romantic set-up at the Empire State Building would have looked.

Avoiding _the talk_ and all the awful things that had happened would do damage if pursued over a long period of time, but if done for awhile it might help. It might heal. It might make the things that needed to be done easier to do when there could be no more to distract themselves with, herself with.

"Hey," she said softly, her warm hands now moving softly against his skin. He blinked again, clearly not awake enough to decide what to do.

"Hey," he returned, both looking and sounding confused. His body had naturally stilled when he'd woken up, but there were still clearly goosebumps decorating his skin. He'd only taken his jacket off in the midst of their passionate kisses that had led from the base of the stairs to the doorway of her room in the space of about twenty minutes. Still, the specks decorated the base of his face and neck. A few were spotted on his wrists and were clearly continued beneath the crisp white button down shirt that covered the skin on his chest and arms.

"Want to shower together?" she asked, tilting her head to the side. His eyes didn't widen, narrow, or blink. He just stared at her. She wondered if maybe he needed some coffee. Instead of fetching him some – or making Dorota do it rather – she went down on her knees and then bent her head low enough so that her lips would touch his. The kiss was gentle but she felt his body react almost instantly. She smiled against him and then raised her head. He was still staring at her the same but he was definitely more alert.

"Blair…" he began as she stood to her feet. His tone sounded hesitant, and like, however painful it might be, that he wanted to have the talk as soon as possible, as in right then. Because he wanted them to be okay with each other and he couldn't let them skip that step just to be in some sort of happy limbo before it was confronted or at least attempted. For the time being, the last thing she wanted him to do was be responsible and strategize over what was in the best interest for both of them in the long run, the big picture.

Her hands planted on her hips, and one eyebrow arched to the top of her forehead with a mischievous quirk to her lips did the trick. She hadn't forgotten what turned him on for a second. It was her greatest power over him. That and denying she didn't love him or that she loved another. That trick hadn't worked quite so well the night before. Probably because the whole time in Prague she'd hardly done a good job of proving what she'd just said in recent hours was the actual truth. And actions very often spoke louder than words with some things.

Her eyes twinkled and she started to walk away, certain he would follow her. He was watching her with heated eyes when she turned her head over her shoulder just before entering the bathroom. She threw a teasing come get me look at him before she stepped onto the tile floor and turned on the shower. Less than ten seconds later, he had followed her into the bathroom and closed and locked the door behind him. He waited till she turned around completely and displayed her innocent façade before him. The desire in his eyes overwhelmed her though, and it transferred very blatantly to her own body the instant she saw it. She could have sworn he did not approve of the transfer though, because less than a minute later a considerable amount of his own raw hungry emotion faded from his eyes.

"Are we really doing this?" he asked, his voice half need-half fear. She knew she needed to be in the mindset he was, the one where every single thing they did was a step forward into getting them back on track as to where they had been before everything had come falling down around them.

But she couldn't be. Then _this_ wouldn't happen for a long time, not as soon as she needed it to. Which was _now_. So, she said _yes_ hungrily and took the initiative by stalking towards him and laying claim to his mouth. He shuddered and groaned when she guided his hands to the curves of her body. It seemed then he didn't have any trouble complying to her body's wishes.

…

It was obvious – at least initially – that he felt horrible for how rashly he had acted by their act of sex in the shower that morning. The guilt weighed on her a little that she wasn't taking the high road on this one and actually seeking what was for the best. It wasn't as if the two of them hadn't taken the easy and exciting road prior to getting serious before though. So, when he decided to no longer show that he was beyond irritated with himself for having had sex with her before they'd officially mended their ways and his actions had been forgiven, she decided to stop feeling bad about pretending nothing was wrong. He was the one at fault here anyways. If this was what she wanted to do for awhile, she should be allowed to take the reins on this one. That was what she thought anyways.

"How have things been going at the Empire?" she asked, sounding genuinely curious, not a hint of mock or teasing in her voice.

"Business has been going great," he said coolly, sounding just as genuine, as if he were just informing her of the news of that day, how his day (or _days_) had been when she asked how he was. _Like everything was fine. _"The flood of guests is overwhelming." He smirked and there was a twinkle in her eyes. They gazed at each other for a lingering moment before turning their gaze back to the street and continuing their walk.

"I'm getting ready for Columbia," she said proudly. He looked back at her, his heart swelling at the sound of her gushing for something he had done for her. "Thanks for that by the way." Her smile could hardly be called small and he fed on it like a man left in the desert does to the first edible thing that he sees. It was the first time she had mentioned the incident that she hadn't put in the _but it doesn't justify what you did or grant you my forgiveness_. Those two things were probably still true, but the fact that he didn't have to hear it, and in her most condescending tone too, made a world of difference.

"Sometimes you're so stubborn about not letting people help you along the way," he remarked, smirk heavily in place. She shook her head and rolled her eyes, thrilling in the moment.

"Like you aren't the same, Bass."

He shrugged. "You and I are practically the same person. It's why I know you so well."

She stopped and he followed suit. They both turned to look at each other, he shortly after her. "Is that so?" she dared. He was still smirking, but he managed to nod in a somewhat serious mode. She was about to continue on with her poking and prodding when she realized that everything she would have thrown at his face as pure justification that they weren't as similar as he suggested were all the awful ways he had hurt her. She nearly gasped then, because she _knew_ for all their frivolous talk and activities, they needed to have their ultimate life-changing, life-altering talk. Otherwise they'd hurt each other further before they'd even begun.

His gaze softened then. Because she had paused too long, the expression in her own face had shifted and when she sighed they both knew there was no turning back. The just hoped any possible explosion could be held somewhere other than the middle of Manhattan. There was an alleyway between the backs of shops just some feet ahead of them though, so that could always be an outlet if they needed to unleash all hell on each other. The thought was not a pleasant one.

"Chuck…"

"Chuck!"

The second calling out to him caught them both by surprise. Their startled, confused faces turned to the girl advancing on them from half-way down the block. Chuck paled and then fumed.

_Damn_, he thought. _This woman will just not leave me alone_.

Blair looked at her curiously, though still irritated that some nobody who probably wanted an autograph or to tell him she had missed her period – those were the only two options going off her cheery voice. Though, she guessed _she_ was the only one who might consider being pregnant with Chuck's child something to glow about. The voice of the woman sounded vaguely familiar but she couldn't remember where it had come from and right now she didn't care. She wanted her _away_, because she needed to talk to Chuck _now_, about something _very important_. The only person of the three of them that didn't seem to grasp that – despite how intense-looking their conversation _had_ _to_ have appeared to her – was the woman still charging for them like she'd just found some long lost third cousins and was about to hold a celebration for their return.

"Ashley," he said, clearly trying to keep his temper under wraps. He walked towards her a little in order to make his point, because somehow this girl did _not_ get the point. He was _not_ interested. What was worse she only looked semi-aware of how much she was irritating him.

"Eva," she corrected lightly. Blair watched the interaction, hardly enjoying it any more than Chuck was, maybe even less so because the irrational jealousy she'd felt towards Jenny in Prague was resurfacing towards this nobody.

"Whatever." He stopped when they were about three feet away. Blair walked slowly towards them, but did not get close enough for either of them to shift their gaze. "You have got to stop trying to get a hold of me. I've been trying to be considerate of your feelings, because I'd like to think of myself as a somewhat changed guy, but you're trying my patience." He sighed, aggravated, and closed his eyes briefly. "I am," he emphasized the words slowly, "_not _interested in you."

Her innocent smile shifted into a deceitful, wicked grin, one that looked truly evil. It took him completely by surprise. She smiled deviously and frowned a bit, definitely not genuine. She closed the distance between them before he could step away and the next thing he knew there was a needle being pushed into him and the world became hazy around him, blurry, the world was spinning and then everything went completely black.

Blair stared down at his fallen figure, ran to him but halted when she noticed the other various needles the girl had ready in a now very obvious pouch. Eva looked up at her, and Blair tried to be brave. She reached around for her cell to call 9-1-1, but an ambulance appeared from behind the far street corner, apparently heading straight for where they were standing. She found it incredibly odd and was suddenly very wary that the entire block now seemed to be almost completely vacated.

"You're welcome to follow us in your own vehicle," Eva said as she climbed into the ambulance that now contained Chuck Bass's unconscious body. Blair cursed herself for getting lost in the whole of the situation, nearly stumbling over herself in her fight to stay focused and still stay alive herself. Belatedly, she ran after the ambulance and then came to her senses. She flipped open her phone and dialed Lily Bass-Humphrey.

…

A/N: Christmas Day. Wow…Merry Christmas! Lol. Review soon! ;p Hope your holidays are going fantabulous. ;D I probably shouldn't be so gutsy since I've reconsidered about a dozen times, but there's only one more chapter after this one, and then the epilogue. ;p


	18. Air We Breathe

A/N: Last chapter! *sings* And then an epilogue. Lol. Sorry for taking so long. Enjoy. ;p

*I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.

…

**Ch.17—Air We Breathe**

The sounds were similar to the ones he'd heard before. There was a quiet hum of sound in the distance to his left. He'd soon discover it was the sound of nurses and doctors in the hallway. There was a quiet beep coming from the computer monitors beside him above his head. The only distinct difference this time from when he'd been taken to the hospital in Prague was that he wasn't depressed, and the last thing he wanted to do was for Blair to stay away.

A nametag labeled _BRITTANIA_ shown in his face. It got smaller as he realized the nurse who had it adorned to her shirt pocket was moving away. It didn't register till several moments later that her breast had been right in his up-close line of vision. That was a difference from pre-Blair times too. Despite not knowing how he'd gotten there and being unsure of where exactly there was, he felt an overwhelming need to be with Blair. He thought he'd burst if he didn't get to her. He realized then that it was vital he find out where he was – which hospital, obviously – and why, so he could get Blair to come to him, or so he could go to her.

"Wh—" He coughed a little, realizing that his voice was incredibly hoarse and it was hard to speak. All of the nurses left the room except for the girl whose name was apparently Brittania. When she turned to face him, his eyes widened and he couldn't take his gaze off her. Either he was hallucinating, or _Brittania_ was _Eva_.

"_Eva_?" he croaked, momentarily forgetting to question the where and why of his situation. She smiled at him, but it was anything. It was a manipulative, deceitful, above-it-all, almost…_evil_ smile. He'd seen a similar one on Blair's face multiple times throughout the years. This one though was subtly different, more intense, he decided.

"I'll go get the doctor," she said simply. To anyone else, she would have looked the perfect angel, a vision in a nurse's garb, a nice, good, perhaps a small-town girl. Luckily for him, he'd gotten used to seeing through façade's. Though, it was to his benefit that he'd seen her out of her _sweet_ façade at least once.

And that's when his memories floated back. She'd approached him on the street, been persistent and _furious_ about his dismissal of her for Blair. The last thing he remembered was being stabbed by some sort of object, _probably a needle now that he thought of it_… and now he was in a hospital, and she was the nurse, with a different name and a different temperament as well. The look she shared with the doctor as he walked in the door before she could leave was clear too. Partners in crime. But there was a deeper connection between the two, he realized. _Family_.

Chuck scrutinized the man with narrowed eyebrows and subtle curiosity. The only thing that felt wrong to him _physically_, was the slight after effects of being jabbed with an unsuspecting needle. He guessed there had been aggression in _Brittania's_ mind when she'd stabbed him. It hardly took much force at all to cause a needle to break the surface of the skin. Now she sat in a chair against the wall, looking to be oblivious to his wary confusion and need to break free. She caught his gaze for a mere second before the doctor decided to speak.

"Mr. Bass," he addressed him. Chuck face turned and he looked upward at the man standing at the edge of the bed he was tucked into. His eyebrows narrowed further.

"Who are you?" he demanded. There was something he didn't know, but it was brewing right beneath the surface, and damned if he'd let them keep up the innocent façade any longer. There was no reason for him to be in a hospital, and Eva – _Brittania_ – ought to be sent to a mental institute for the way she'd attacked him just because he'd denied her another date.

"I'll cut to the chase, since this really has been dragged out too long and I can only take your enraged look of confusion so much." He glanced towards Eva and she walked towards the door to make sure it was assuredly locked and secured. Then, she walked to the other side of the far too cryptic "doctor" and pulled out a syringe from the counter just a foot or so away.

"What the _hell_ is going on?" Chuck growled.

"I am the one who had been poisoning you in Prague…_Charles_." Chuck's eyes widened, in shock. A fear, in the form of rapid chill, shot throughout his entire body. He felt frozen and overheated very suddenly. He couldn't help the large swallow that formed in his mouth and throat. "It is only by the extreme stubbornness and persistence of your step-mother that I managed to not succeed." He paused for emphasis and Chuck saw as Eva shrunk a little behind him. "And my daughter…" he stifled a sigh. Chuck made the connection but it did not seem to be too much of an _ohh_ moment to really react in the open. He was still struggling with the fact that he was alone with the man who he'd just barely escaped from with his life.

"Your father betrayed me severely," he continued, sensing his victim needed further the pieces to his puzzle, so he could recognize his full deceit. "He had taken on a huge project. It was supposed to be the greatest of his career. He sought out for me to invest. The offer and the obvious inevitable success that I could see on the horizon refused to let me think clearly about the whole operation. Within a month, the project went to ashes. Your father, of course, survived enough to get started on a whole new investment that flourished almost immediately, and never died. The Bass Incorporated hotels located world-wide, as I'm sure you're aware. Myself and my family were not so lucky. We had put nearly our whole life savings into your father's project, as he so desperately begged of us, and then we were left with nothing. My wife, who was pregnant with our second child at the time, died in childbirth because there was no one to aid us – no friends, no help from the hospitals. We had become dirt to everyone around us, because in Prague, where the project was supposed to have taken place, everyone knew of my involvement and then blamed me for what had happened. Of course, not everyone in a large city can know these things obviously, but having powerful friends spreads the words quickly." He took a step towards Chuck on the bed. "We were _ruined_."

Chuck was scared to death, but still managed to feel guilty for what his father had done. A fire-filled honor for his father rose in his though. His brows narrowed. He could not help the clenching of his fists atop the covers.

"Did you set up my father's death? The car accident?" he demanded, trying to keep his voice low enough so he wouldn't cause this avenging man to stab him on the spot. He was surprised to find himself extremely chagrined to see the doctor not in the least appalled by his rising voice and clenching fists.

"No," he said, merely confirming a fact. "I was not responsible for your shooting either." He sighed, sounding remorseful. Chuck wanted to spit in his face. "It seems the world just doesn't think very highly of you either, you _deceitful_ men."

"I am _not_ my father," Chuck ground out, never losing the intense eye contact between them.

"You're a Bass. There is no difference."

"So, what are you going to do? Kill me? And what about _Jack_?"

"Jack was no threat. He couldn't win over Bass Industries, and if he tries to claim his prize once you are dead, then we will take action. No one has suspected us yet."

"You've killed _before_?" he asked, aghast. This was turning into a nightmare. He wondered if he was dreaming, hoped he was, but it did not seem likely.

"Not I, personally," he said. Chuck glanced over at Eva who was looking at him just as calmly with some sort of sick purpose he could not comprehend. "But it appears in our family every so often throughout the generations. Once your father had wronged me so unjustly, I knew I had no choice."

Chuck shook his head in disbelief, his mind spinning. He wanted to demand they hurt no one he loved, most especially Blair, but he guessed leaving them out of the conversation was probably for the best. His instinct right then was to just get out of there, but his mind would not function long enough to figure out _how_.

"I apologize on my father's behalf," he said sincerely, hoping it would help calm the waters of this man who had clearly been enraged for many years. It was uncertain whether his daughter had been grown to believe the same, to have the same hatred, or if it had only been recently that he'd involved her in the plot, that he'd found her to be potentially useful. "I don't know why he did what he did, but I can assure you it will be made up for if you let me go free," he said.

The man shook his head and scoffed. "You don't get it, _Charles_," he said with great distaste. "It is too late for that. Your father had _thirty years_ to make it up to me." The harsh whisper chilled Chuck again. "The only solution now is to kill you," he said lightly, bringing the syringe finally over to the terrified Bass boy who was now being restrained by Eva's tight grip on the other side of the bed.

"Please…no…no—"

A loud banging sound against the door temporarily cut off his cries for help. His eyes widened when he registered the sudden change of events, but he was not quick enough to see the panicked look on the doctor's face or hear him yelling at his daughter in outrage because she was a pathetic piece of flesh that no man in his right mind would want to feast on. She backed into the corner, trying to distance herself from him and just when Chuck thought the man was going to beat his own daughter – because by then the situation had registered – the pounding on the door turned into a cracking sound and broke free, multiples of men clad in police-uniform rushing into the room.

He was so in shock he couldn't even tell them his name when they asked it of him. First, he turned to the corner and saw the two being taken away. They did not look innocent enough to warrant excuses, not even the girl. She looked back at him as she was guided out of the room. He saw something familiar in her face then, something that Blair must have seen in him on multiple occasions throughout her life. _Failure. Disappointment. To blame_. He tried to shake himself out of it, but nothing aside from the sudden sound of Lily Bass's voice coming from the hall brought him back to the world he'd been living in less than an hour before, the one he was truly a part of, the one that had Blair in it.

"Charles…Charles!"

He finally focused. Not a single man in uniform could stop her as she crossed the room to him, determined as ever. She took him in her arms and rocked him as if he were a little boy lost out in the cold.

"I knew there was something else going on. I swear to god, I knew that doctor wasn't telling us the whole truth…"

Chuck didn't know if that other doctor had been aware of just what was going on. He couldn't tell anything to be sure, and he wanted to tell Lily that. But right then he did feel like he'd been left out in the cold. So, he let her hold him, and then he let her guide him out of the room, the policemen not far behind them, some even ahead. He wanted to get out of that place. It smelled like death, and he'd been too close to it too many times. He needed some sort of revival to his senses, and he knew he could find that in only one place.

_Blair_.

…

He didn't like the fact that he was in a hospital again so soon, but Lily had insisted on checking him out one last time to make sure no poison had reached his system. She didn't want to take any chances. Neither did he, but that didn't stop the aching in him from wanting to leave. He was so desperate to get out of there. After how the last few months had gone, he didn't know when he'd ever really feel safe going into a hospital again. Honestly though, he felt bad for the duo that had tried to do him in, especially the girl. He wanted to help them somehow, because they had been wronged so badly. And that girl was him at seventeen, one hundred percent. Still, he decided he'd leave it to the law and hope they gave her some credit. All in all she did nothing short of poorly seducing him and tranquilizing him on the street. He didn't think that amounted to too much. Though, being an accessory to pre-meditated murder was quite the accusation. He hoped she didn't receive it. He doubted she'd really known about it either. He'd felt the tension in her reverberating through his system when she was holding him down on the hospital bed. If she knew what her father was intending, she was only doing it out of fear or some need to be accepted.

But he no longer desired to think of what might come of them and if they should be let loose of any charges – at least the daughter. It took too much energy, and when Blair burst into the room looking frantic and sending all three of them into silent hysterics, he knew he'd made the right decision in deciding to forget what had transpired over the last hour and a half.

"Blai—"

Her lips were on his before he could get a single word out. He felt the reaction from Lily in the air between them. It ranged from shocked to appalled, and to just plain humored by the situation. She backed away a little and then exited the room, closing the door behind her.

His thoughts evaporated into thin air the second he saw her lunging at him from near across the room. All he could do was feel; her hair beneath his fingertips, her lips and tongue twisting and pressing against his own, her arms wrapped around his neck and back, her soft as velvet ivory legs of perfection climbing onto him and pushing him onto the laying position on the bed in the room. Nothing inside him could make him stop kissing her. He hadn't kissed her since that morning, and then he'd felt guilty. They still needed to have that all important conversation, the one that had been interrupted by that wounded investor of his late father, rest his soul, and his more broken than beating breed of a daughter. Chuck needed to finish the conversation from before all that. But first he needed his fill. It felt like he hadn't kissed her in years, and she was just melting in his mouth, just waiting for him to eat her up because that was all she wanted. He could have sworn he felt tears dripping onto his cheeks from her eyes, begging him to do just that. When he felt her hand attempting to unbuckle his belt however, he knew they needed to stop.

She froze when she realized he'd stopped responding. Everything in her had gone ballistic when she'd seen that ambulance drive away. She called Lily right away, told her everything. Then, it had all set in and she'd nearly lost it. She'd called Serena then, sobbing, demanding she take her to the hospital, where she was sure Chuck would end up eventually. Everything inside her chest had tightened up. She'd paced the halls, demanding any news of the status of Chuck as often as she could blink, but of course neither Serena nor Nate – who had come soon after – had a clue. The only person who had known was Lily, and no one had heard anything from her since she'd announced to Blair on the phone that she'd "take care of it". When they finally got word that Chuck had been found unharmed and was being taken to the hospital – naturally the one they weren't at – she'd nearly been shaking, but the two blondes had managed to get her to the limo and to the other hospital as soon as they were able.

She didn't think. She demanded his room number amidst running into the building and then took off. Both Nate and Serena lost track of her after she whipped around the first corner. They'd never seen her run so fast in her entire life, despite the fact that she'd taken off her heels and was gripping them tightly in her hand. When she finally got to Chuck's room, she dropped the shoes and threw herself at him, hardly aware of Lily standing just behind the bed where he sat, where they'd probably been waiting for the doctor's final approval that they could leave. All she'd been able to do was feel. It had been the second time she'd almost lost him, the third if she counted the poisoning attempts in Prague. Damned if she'd let their unsettled feelings get in the way.

"Blair," he said, jerking her out of her mode to kiss him. She blinked and pulled away. She saw the need in him shining in his eyes. He was as desperate for her as she was for him, but he wouldn't let himself give in, not all the way, not even after the disaster he'd just been through. They'd done that before and it had not been good for either of them.

He motioned for her to sit on the bed next to him. She thought briefly how much she detested the very movable plastic-like white paper that teared oh so easily, but it would be sitting next to him, and when he intertwined their fingers when she settled beside him relief flooded through her. Of its own inclination, her head fell onto his shoulder. She felt shivers go through her when he brought their tangled hands to his lips and kissed the knuckles of her fingers.

"We need to talk," he said quietly. She nodded softly.

"I-I was so scared, Chuck." Her voice shivered in ripples and it made him turn to look at her, because it had been so close, and she needed to be held. So he held her. He let her cry. He could allow that much.

"It's okay," he said sweetly against her. "I'm alright. I'm not going anywhere." She pulled back to look him in the eyes, tears streaming down her face, wrecking her mascara.

"You don't know that." Her bottom lip trembled. "Three times this summer, Chuck. _Three_." Her expression was fierce, almost angry. Then, she crumbled again and wrapped her arms tight around his waist, her face crushed against his chest. "I won't lose you. I…can't." She sniffled and he pulled her closer, kissed the top of her head and stroked the long length of her back.

"The people responsible are being put away. Nothing's going to happen to me, I swear." He paused. "It's over, Blair." She stayed put for a little while longer and then pulled her head back again.

"If you're wo-wondering if I'm still mad at you, you must be out of your mind." He opened his mouth to speak, but she silenced him. "And it's not because I've been pretty shaken up by almost losing you so many times. It's because I love you. And because that's _good enough_. You've more than proved your worth, that you want me, that you're sorry, even if you took forever to come find me after we came back." She wanted to laugh a little, make the moment light, but she couldn't find it in herself. She was so very serious. "Chuck," she said, cupping his face in her hands and looking at him so intensely he thought he'd burst. "I love you. Please, please don't leave me."

It seemed impossible to even breathe at that moment, let alone speak, but somehow he managed. "In Prague, you were jealous. You somehow got the notion in your head that I—"

"Shh," she said, placing her hand over his mouth to silence him. "I don't anymore. I was stupid. I don't think that at all anymore. Really, I don't."

He pulled her hand down and away from his mouth. "I never had a single romantic, sexual feeling for Jenny." He gripped her arms close to her shoulders. "I want you to _know_ that. She was just there. If it had been a dirty prostitute off the street, I would have taken her. I thought my life was over. But no way in hell did I do it because there was feeling behind it, emotional or otherwise."

She nodded, more tears streaming down her face. She managed to whisper, "I-I know." She didn't like being reminded of the situation all over again, that his solution to feeling better was to sleep with some girl that wasn't her. But she was so overwhelmed with grief and love for him that she couldn't make herself have _that_ type of heartbrokenness take over her senses.

"I love you, Chuck," she said again, swallowing hard. She cupped his face again. "And I forgive you." She sighed and leaned in, kissing him sweetly. She didn't pull away, just rested her forehead against his own. "Just…please, _please_ let me be with you. Give me us again."

She shivered against him and he pulled her somehow closer all over again. A soaring joy shot through him. He didn't think he'd ever been so happy in his entire life. Everything she was saying he'd dreamed of hearing for months. He'd been so stupid. He didn't deserve her. But he'd do anything to make her happy, and what made her happy was being with him. _Him_. He swore he'd marry at her. He'd wait awhile, but he _would_ marry her. There was nobody for him but her. He couldn't even try to move on. It would be pointless. And she _wanted_ him. There was no way in hell he was going to let her go again.

"God, I love you so much, Blair." He squeezed her against him, then pulled her away enough for her to look into his eyes, so she could see how intense he was feeling, how serious he was about them, how he always had been. "And I'm so sorry," he said very deliberately, never losing eye contact for a moment. "I never meant to hurt you," he said, his grasp firm on her upper arms. "_Never_."

"I know," she said, smiling a little, another tear making a path down her face. This time though it was happy – joy, _relief_. His shoulders relaxed and her arms wrapped around his neck. She pulled herself all the way to him, closing and any all distance between them. She ravaged his mouth with her own, plunging her tongue into his wet open depths. She felt his hands swimming in her hair and dug her nails into his scalp and nape of his neck. Her legs were wrapped around his waist in a heartbeat, and she could not get herself close enough. Very reluctantly, he wrenched his mouth away.

"What is it?" she asked, breathing heavily.

"I think…" he began, breathing heavily as well. "We should get out of here."

She looked around her and blushed a little. "Alright," she said, glancing at him coyly as she untangled her legs from around him and slipped off the bed. He swore his stomach did flips. Her hips swayed invitingly as she headed towards the door. No matter how much logic he'd had, he immediately felt like a complete idiot for halting their activities again.

He got to the door somehow before she did and stormed out into the hall, holding her hand tightly into his own. He raced down the hall, a wide-smiling Blair Waldorf just behind him, her brown curls swirling in the wind they created. He stopped suddenly when they got to the reception desk for that floor. Lily was standing there, talking to the receptionist. Both women turned to look at them, their expressions immediately amused.

"I spoke to the doctor, while the two of you were…" Lily assessed their appearance from head to toe and back again. "…_reuniting_." Her eyes twinkled. "You're free to go, Charles," she said with a shrug. His eyes lit up with intense satisfaction and anticipation. He looked to Blair and found the same exciting expression. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Lily waving them off and mentioning offhand in the distance as they ran off that she had already called the limo. They slid right in the moment they exited the door.

"God, I love you, Blair," he said again, hastily ripping at her clothing, needing to taste all of her. She took advantage of his enthusiasm and crushed herself against him, thrilling at the feel of begin on top of him all again. She ravaged him as he ravaged her, feeling more in love than she'd ever been. Gunfire hadn't killed him, poison hadn't, not even a broken heart. She'd never let him go again. She'd make sure of that when she said _I do_.

"I love you too," she whispered against him hours later, watching him intently as he slept, his arm wrapped snugly around her waist and his hand wrapped up in her hair. She sighed contently and nuzzled her face against his neck.

…

A/N: Hope it was good for you. Epilogue to come. ;p (Oh, and in case you haven't visited my profile recently – or regularly – I'm not watching the current GG episodes until the big break in March, so please don't mention anything about them in your reviews or PMs you may send me. Thanks. =) )


	19. Epilogue

A/N: This is it. The last little bit of GWK. I hope you've enjoyed it, and I'm sorry for the times it has taken me so long to update. Heh. I'm also very appreciative of all you readers who have continued to tag along and review. I love you immensely. Hehehe. As always, please review. I hope you will love it! ;p

*I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.

….

**Epilogue—**

To say she was on fire would be a serious understatement. Blair felt like she was on top of the world. The last six weeks with Chuck had been pure bliss, more than she could have either hoped to attain or imagine. He'd stayed true to his word, had treated her like an angel. She never doubted for a second how long it would last. She knew it'd last forever. He'd nearly sold _The Empire_ before she'd run in at the last second and stopped him. She knew he was still feeling guilty. She just didn't think he'd go to such extremes. It spoke volumes of how much he loved her, even if it took a great amount of effort to get him to change his mind and get the document of sale torn to shreds. A simple glare to the possible purchasers was all they needed to leave. Her disdainful remark didn't hurt either – _you can go now_. Chuck looked at her in disbelief after they'd left and she fell a little bit more in love with him right there. She cupped his face in her hands and kissed him, glorying in the fact that all though he'd been thwarted and was no doubt confused, he still instinctively wrapped his arms around her waist. During those weeks, she hardly knew Serena _or Nate_ even existed, let alone any other human being on the planet.

A carriage ride, a special delivery of peonies, roses, diamonds and chocolates, and now a dinner at the fanciest restaurant in all of Manhattan, one where their seats were overlooking the city and the river. She was amazed by it. And she'd have to be blind if she didn't see what was coming next. She only hoped she could contain herself if he was only teasing her and tonight was not the night. She wanted to know what it looked like, how it would sparkle on her finger. She wanted to hear the words on his lips. _Will you marry me?_ She shivered when she thought about it. She wanted it to be real.

"You look beautiful, Blair."

Somehow she kept herself from blushing. Or, if she had mistakenly allowed the light pink to rise in her cheeks, she recovered from it quickly. The distraction of looking over her one shouldered sparkling dress that trailed just past her knees and held snugly to her figure gave her just the time she needed. When she looked up she could see him staring at her, completely in love. It gave her shivers that visibly rippled over her neck and shoulders. The diamond clips placed throughout her loose updo of curls shimmered in the sweet evening light.

"Yes, well, you said to dress up," she said, unable to fight the smile stretching across her face. He nodded once, still looking completely enamoured with her.

"You always look so beautiful," he said, not breaking eye contact for a second. He reached his hand across the table and she lightly set her hand in his warm grasp. If she was not mistaken, there were light trickles of sweat forming in the crevices of his palm. _He was nervous_. Her heartbeats sped up at that realization. _It was coming_.

"You've been very romantic today, Chuck," she said softly, her fingers tracing over the curves of his hand. He almost seemed to tremble in the gentle embrace.

"Aren't I always?" he asked, managing to get just a little flamboyant with the blatant question of how exquisitely amazing he was.

"Mmm," she mused, smiling. "But not quite so much as you have today." She paused, her eyes moving from their dancing fingers to his eyes. She saw the hidden nervousness in his taut face and unnerved tense behavior that was traveling down his arm to his fingers. "Something special you have in mind?"

He looked up at her and seemed to relax. He probably knew, she thought, knew that she'd caught on. The tone of her voice and the magic lighting her eyes looked to have given him all the courage he needed.

"Let's finish dinner first," he said coyly, smirking throughout his entire suggestion. Her smile widened somehow, but she nodded – as if she could do anything else. She released his hand and returned to her meal.

When champagne and desserts arrived, she wondered if he'd be so corny as to hide the ring in the class or amidst the pie. He didn't. Silently, she approved, even though she knew she'd be so excited about him finally proposing that she wouldn't have cared just how he'd done it, if it had happened that way. It would only be afterwards, when they were telling the story of how he'd proposed, that she would tease him for it.

"I think you know what's coming," he said awhile later. She looked up at him, tilting her head to the side innocently, but the dazzling smile on her face gave her away. He stood up and walked around to her side of the table, getting down on one knee and taking her hands in his own. He didn't break eye contact for a second. His hazel eyes were shimmering in the light. Her breath caught in her throat. There had been many times throughout her relationship with Chuck – and in her life in general – when she'd lost the ability to breathe. And even though she'd known this moment was coming, and soon, the sight before her was more breathtaking than she could have ever imagined. She was beyond tempted to just say _yes!_ right then before he even got his mouth open to speak.

"Blair," he began, very sure of his ground now, his deep breaths fully accomplished, his sweat and chills displaying obvious nervousness diminished, and the sparkling engagement ring he'd had crafted especially for her waiting ready to be claimed safely in his pocket.

"There are not enough words in the universe to express how much I love you. You've been with me through everything, and you've never stopped loving me, not really. You're beautiful beyond comparison, and you've got one hell of a talent in the bedroom." She flushed. "Or anywhere else for that matter," he murmured seductively.

"Chuck…" she scolded playfully, worried very suddenly how embarrassing it'd be if she moistened her underwear in her spectacular evening gown. She still wanted to _dance_ with him before they left. He pursed his lips and took another deep breath.

"I love you," he said sincerely, his eyes speaking a thousand different words in a million different language, the hazel depths plunging into the majesty of the ocean and sunset alike. "Please, please marry me. And I promise I'll love you forever. I won't hurt you anymore. You will be my highest priority, even against my family name and business. You already are my everything. Please let me make that forever. Let me be yours. I don't think I could stand it if I didn't—"

She lowered herself in a rush and kissed him, silencing his words, and what seemed to be his ever constant doubts. "Yes, you idiot," she murmured against his open mouth, her lips spreading into a smile that almost matched his own. With some great attempt at will power, she held herself back from kissing him with even more fervor and determination. Instead, she sat back in her seat and he remembered on that cue to pull the velvet box from his pocket. He opened it and the ring sparkled in front of her. Her eyes widened in the beauty of it. She was overwhelmed.

"Blair Waldorf, will you marry me?" he requested, even though she'd already said yes.

She'd been too mesmerized by the ring to stop him from speaking this time. He was down on bended knee again, uninterrupted and professing his love to her, begging to have her forever, even if nothing in the world could have changed that. Her eyes lifted from the ring to his heartfelt face. He looked so in love with her she thought she'd burst. A silly grin appeared on her face and she started nodding rapidly. The wide, contagious smile exploded on his face again. He took the hand she already had extended and slid the ring onto her finger. She seemed in shock that it was finally there, that she was really his, officially. He didn't think he could stand it anymore. He stood to his feet suddenly, more quick than he thought was possible, and pulled her to him hastily, kissing her more passionately than he thought he had in a public place. She wrapped her arms around him, pulling him somehow even closer. After several long moments past pulling away, their foreheads and eyes connected, lost only in themselves and their love, they heard the restaurant's other customers' applause around them. They pulled away further and looked at the flood of people, unable to rip the smiles from their faces.

Chuck took Blair's glass of champagne from the table and then picked up his own. He held it high above of his head. "To the future Mrs. Bass," he announced to the room, and then turned to her, almost unable to stand the professing love in her eyes. "God damn, I'm lucky."

Applause rippled through the room as he lowered his lips to hers again. As if on cue, the band on the far side of the dance floor started playing. Their faces nuzzled against each other and warmed their souls. He led her onto the shining marble dance floor and brought her close, starting to slowly sway her in way of the music. They held each other's gaze and smiled to the point that it almost ached – as if they could do anything else.

Later he'd tell her that he'd contemplated proposing to her in their limo. But of course he'd changed his mind in the light of it not being very classy. She'd never let him live it down. And she would not be fond of informing her friends and family that her devil of a husband had proposed to her in the place she'd lost her virginity.

….

A/N: I fail at waiting. But hopefully some of you will still review the last chapter too. =/ As you can see, I didn't solve things with NS or whatever may have become of Eva/Brittania and her father. That shall be left to the imagination. Let your imagination run wild. ;) Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it! =D


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